Episode 42: Supporting Someone Through Bariatric Surgery: A Conversation With My Mom

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Hi, everybody. Welcome to a special episode of

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Bariatric Fandrew podcast. I'm going to do another

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mini matinee. And I'm actually really excited

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because today I'm joined by my mom. Hi, mom.

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Hello, Hannah. Oh, and Bo is here as well. So

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you'll hear him in the background. Yeah, I'm

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home for the holidays and I want to record an

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episode with my mom. Do you want to introduce

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yourself? Say your name. Uh, yeah, my name is

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Marianne Cameron, and as Hannah said, I am her

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mom, and, um, we're just gonna talk about her

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journey. Yeah. She's been my mom for 30 -something

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years, so she knows a little bit about me, just

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a bit. So, yeah, I want to record a podcast episode

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about what is it like supporting somebody going

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through surgery. A lot of you requested this

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as a topic and said you'd love to hear... from

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your family's perspective. I know we always talk

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about what Steph and I went through and advice

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we have, but I know a lot of you are gonna have

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husbands and wives and moms and dads and tons

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of people supporting you. So I just want to pick

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your brain, mom, about what people who are supporting

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someone going through bariatric surgery need

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to know. I think the first question that I'll

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just kind of throw out to you is... What was

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it like when I announced I was going to have

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this surgery? Initially, I kind of panicked because

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I thought, I thought, like I don't really know

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enough about the procedure and the ins and the

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outs. And I thought like I better, I need to

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get up to speed. I need to know what you're going

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to be doing and actually what you need. I guess,

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from us. Yeah, it's a good point. Like, I did

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just kind of come out of the blue and tell you

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I was doing this. There was also a period of

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time where we thought this was never going to

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happen. It was during COVID. And I was, unfortunately,

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it took a year and a half for me to get approved

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for surgery just due to COVID. So I do remember

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you saying, I didn't think this was ever going

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to happen. Well, no, that's the truth. But. The

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more that you went to appointments and you found

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out information and had some testing done and

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exactly how the procedure was going to go like

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before, during, and after, I like to be included

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on Your information. Yeah, like and you did mention

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to me sometime that You're gonna be looking at

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labels a whole lot different you're gonna be

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looking at labels and reading and Yeah, because

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as I have always said to you if you're not a

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part of the Solution, you're a part of the problem.

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Yep Yeah, I kind of told you I think I need to

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eat differently and do this. I think one of the

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first things that a lot of our listeners would

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like to know, because a lot of them struggle

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with this, is was there any hesitation when I

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announced it? And I know the answer to this is

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no. There was so much support initially. Some

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people are really scared to tell their family.

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They are scared they're going to be judged or

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they're going to say, you don't need that or

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that's too much. I think that maybe that's a

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lot of fear because you guys were really supportive,

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but do you have any advice for people that are

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like, I don't think I should tell my family.

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Oh God, you have to tell your family. It's okay.

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Suppose you found out you were diabetic. You

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have to tell the people around you, the people

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that you spend the most time with, but for your

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home, you have to tell them because it's a way

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of life. And I've always said, You know, we try

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to be accepting for anybody that comes to have

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a meal with us or whatever if you're you have

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food allergies if you're a diabetic or if you're

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going on a weight loss program or I Take it as

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an opportunity to expand My knowledge on what

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I can do like I would rather I don't know. I

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kind of find it enjoying trying to find something

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that is accepting and, you know, that passes

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the grade, I guess. I like it. You know, you

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don't want people to be, you don't want people

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to be ashamed or embarrassed, like, geez, I can't

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eat that. I can't do that. No, that's, no. Yeah,

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there's nothing wrong with it. I think some people

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are judgmental. You've heard our podcast episode

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on how some people might not accept your journey.

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But I think my mom is right. Ultimately, you

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want to tell your family. You want them to know

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that you're doing this. And hopefully you have

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a family like mine that was very like, OK, all

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right, we're doing this. Here we go. And was

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really supportive. But I don't think there's

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any way that you could have the surgery and hide

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it from family. No, absolutely not. And be successful?

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No, I don't think so. And there, yeah. I don't

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know what the people would be afraid of. You're

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still going to have your meals. You're going

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to have different proportions. Yeah. And that's

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okay too. But if it's good for you, then it's

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good for us. Yeah, very good point. I want to

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know about this new recipe and it's high in protein

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and it's got this, it's got that or... I don't

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know. We've got to be open to new things, so...

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I agree. Why not? I think it's just misunderstanding

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from a lot of people who, you know, initially...

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Bo is looking at our appetizers and trying to

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eat them. A lot of people, I think, initial reaction

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will say things like, you don't need it, or that

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seems really extreme. And I think that's what

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people are scared of, is just getting judged

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for having this surgery. But to those people

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who are gonna judge you before they even ask

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what it's like, I say to them, shove off. You're

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doing this for your health and for you, and we

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want you to be really excited, but. I agree,

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I think it'll be hard if your family's not part

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of that journey. But for those whose family just

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won't be, you find your family. You go and find

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that tribe that will help you through this, whether

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that's a friend or a coworker or your partner.

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There will be people to support you through this.

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It's not complicated. Well, but you have people

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that make things so friggin' hard, but it isn't

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complicated. It's food. And whether you broil

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something or barbecue something rather than deep

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fry something, or you have a tray of fresh vegetables

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rather than chips, you know, exactly. It's not

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complicated. And both sides can benefit. Yeah,

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both sides can benefit. And you're just looking

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at a new way to prepare meals. I agree. Different

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proportions. I mean, people can have as much

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or as little as they want. And there's nothing

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to be embarrassed about. No, I learned so much.

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We're going to get into that. We're going to

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ask about what you learned. So let's take it

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through. I announced that I was having this and

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there was lots of support. And she also went

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on the computer because I know her and researched

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it for hours, I'm sure, to learn the ins and

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outs of it. But she, like my mom mentioned, she

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came to appointments and she was part of the

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process. So I think one of the ones I want to

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talk about was you actually came to my surgeon

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appointment. You actually came down to Kitchener

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and you came to the appointment I was having

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with my surgeon because my mother's an ex -nurse.

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You guys know this, I've told you. And I was

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like, oh, I definitely need you there. I think

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it was funny because you came into the room and

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I pointed to the chair and said, okay, sit down.

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And Dr. Jewell said, no, this is your appointment.

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Your mom can go sit over there. And he made you

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sit on the other side of the room because I was

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the patient. Let's take it from there. You came

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to my surgical appointment. And for those who

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haven't had it yet, this is when you meet your

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surgeon. Like, you are there. You're at the finish

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line. You meet your surgeon, and he goes through

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all the different options for surgery. VSG, which

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is sleeve, bypass, roux -en -y. And then he asks

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you at the end, which one do you want? So I just

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wanted her there because I didn't know if I was

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going to have questions or not. But what was

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that like, sitting in the consult with my doctor?

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Well, um... Yeah, I just kind of sat and minded

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my own business. But it's good to hear the information

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come from him. When two people are in a room

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and one person is speaking, I think you each

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come out with different information or you've

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each picked up on different things. Good point.

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No, I was able to hear right from the horse's

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mouth what was going to take place and basically

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complications, what may happen, what could happen,

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you know, timelines, things like that. So if

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I had any questions, I would have no problems

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asking a question on my behalf, not on Hannah's,

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the patient's behalf, but on Because I knew I

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would be with her. And I think you did. I think

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you actually even asked him something about post

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-op something because you were going to be with

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me in the hospital and after. And I actually

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think you had a question and he was so great

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with answering it. Well, I think because he also

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threw out the possibility that if things go well,

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you could possibly be a same day discharge. Yes,

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I was rather than staying overnight. Yeah. And

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I think he said, you know, were you interested

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in that? And I was like, fuck, yes, I was. And

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I think that was your question was like, well,

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what if, or like, when would we know that she

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would be same day? And what happens if she isn't?

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And his response was like, well, she'll just

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stay here if she isn't. But no, I ended up being

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same day. It was easy peasy in and out, but he

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was. Very like as a surgeon should be he gave

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all the facts and only the facts He didn't give

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his opinion on anything just the facts and he

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let me pick my surgery and I said I would like

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sleeve and I remember we left and I said I picked

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sleeve and you were like, oh, thank God like

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that's the one I wanted you to take But it was

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great because you sat you didn't tell me your

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opinion ahead of time We listened about all the

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surgeries and I on my own said I've done a lot

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of research on my own and I really think sleeve

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is the way to go for me And here's why and he

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said, okay, that's fine Great. And then we paid

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for our shakes and we got to head our little

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tail home. And I was super pumped and excited

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and everything kind of moved forward like that.

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Fast forward, we have surgery. You actually came

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to the hospital with me. Yes, I did. Which I

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think was super boring. You came, you sat, I

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had surgery, which was quick as hell. I'm pretty

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sure I went in and came out within an hour. Yeah.

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And then it was just recovery. And it was just,

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you had to wait around until 3 p .m. because

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you couldn't go before three. They made me do

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a lap around the... make sure I could stand on

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my own two feet and walk, and then you took me

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home. Yes. But it helps to be there, to witness

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the first time that they wanted to get you up,

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you were too lightheaded and too dizzy. So if

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I'm going to be with you, I want to know if you

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spent... 20 minutes in the bathroom vomiting

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or if it took you three tries to get up and stand

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upright or, you know, if they had to give you

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an extra bag of fluid, blah, blah, blah, blah,

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blah. I want to know if there were any hiccups

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during your procedure. Good point. Well, I know.

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I mean, I want to know what I'm getting myself

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into. But it was pretty straightforward. They

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did try to get me up because I was up early.

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I think I was in recovery. I went into surgery

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at eight. I think I was in recovery for nine.

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They tried to get me up around 1030. And I said,

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I advocated for myself and I said, oh no, I'm

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feeling really dizzy. I don't think I can do

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this. She said, let's get you started on juice.

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And then she switched me to apple juice. I had

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a few shots of that. And then I was walking,

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I think I did what? Three laps of the floor.

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And then you were like, cool, can we go? And

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I got in the car and we picked up my prescriptions

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and we went home. After that, everything was

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very easy peasy. So we can fast forward to what

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was it like in that first year, not surgery and

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recovery, but more now that I'm normal and I'm

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coming home for Easter, coming home for my birthday.

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You know, what kind of went through your head

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when it was like, okay, she's coming down for

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her birthday and or she's coming. I think Easter

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was the first time I came home because that was

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April. Yeah. Well, you had stages. where after

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six months you were able to integrate different

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food types back into the diet. So it's nice to

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be kept up to speed on that. And I don't know,

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I used to do some tracking for recipes. I would

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sometimes say, well, I think I was going to make

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whatever dessert we were thinking of having and

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running it by you. What do you think that, you

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know, yay, nay? Or what could we change? Yay

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or nay? You know, to make it more, you know,

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acceptable. But I don't know. It's no big deal.

00:13:41.259 --> 00:13:46.570
Really, it isn't. Minor alterations and... I

00:13:46.570 --> 00:13:49.129
don't know you made good desserts so she made

00:13:49.129 --> 00:13:53.269
um for Easter you made me a trifle out of sugar

00:13:53.269 --> 00:13:56.450
-free pudding and fresh blueberries and then

00:13:56.450 --> 00:14:00.340
for my birthday you made me like a pistachio

00:14:00.340 --> 00:14:02.820
dessert that I used to love before surgery, but

00:14:02.820 --> 00:14:05.139
you made it with no sugar. So you made a shortbread

00:14:05.139 --> 00:14:07.519
base without sugar, and you made sugar -free

00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:10.340
pistachio pudding, and then sugar -free whipped

00:14:10.340 --> 00:14:13.039
cream on the top. And I obviously took a portion

00:14:13.039 --> 00:14:15.120
size that made sense for me, but everybody else

00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:17.940
in the house got to eat it, and nobody really

00:14:17.940 --> 00:14:20.500
knew it was different from the sugar version.

00:14:21.519 --> 00:14:24.000
So I am lucky that you made... such an effort

00:14:24.000 --> 00:14:26.200
to make some really cool things for me. And you

00:14:26.200 --> 00:14:28.259
got me sugar -free Laura Seacord for Easter.

00:14:28.259 --> 00:14:30.259
Oh yes, that's right too. Yeah, you went in and

00:14:30.259 --> 00:14:32.279
asked them about it and they said, yeah, we do

00:14:32.279 --> 00:14:36.700
carry sugar -free. She gave you six different

00:14:36.700 --> 00:14:39.299
types. Yeah, of different flavors of sugar -free,

00:14:39.340 --> 00:14:43.980
which was really cool. Yeah. I don't know, it's

00:14:43.980 --> 00:14:47.559
not a big... Okay. It's not as complicated. It

00:14:47.559 --> 00:14:49.899
can be complicated if you want to make it complicated.

00:14:50.519 --> 00:14:52.200
Yeah, I think there's people who just make life

00:14:52.200 --> 00:14:54.279
complicated in general. Make a peanut butter

00:14:54.279 --> 00:14:57.019
sandwich complicated. But you would say this

00:14:57.019 --> 00:14:59.440
was not an inconvenience to your life. No, I

00:14:59.440 --> 00:15:05.620
learned a lot. Okay. I read labels. Just looking

00:15:05.620 --> 00:15:10.340
at your percentages of like your sodium and your

00:15:10.340 --> 00:15:16.889
fats and... you know the sugars and the you were

00:15:16.889 --> 00:15:21.049
versing me in the types of sugars that yes may

00:15:21.049 --> 00:15:24.870
say that it's low but it has a high um sugar

00:15:24.870 --> 00:15:27.350
alcohol content which will make you poop yourself

00:15:27.350 --> 00:15:29.750
yeah that's yeah that's great that's not fun

00:15:29.750 --> 00:15:34.250
so you just have to be aware and even though

00:15:34.250 --> 00:15:38.610
it has a fancy label like it's oh this and uh

00:15:38.610 --> 00:15:41.879
-huh you know oh my gosh Oftentimes it isn't.

00:15:42.059 --> 00:15:44.779
Yeah, so okay, she's learning, guys. You've heard

00:15:44.779 --> 00:15:47.379
us say on the podcast, watch for things that

00:15:47.379 --> 00:15:50.860
say that they're low calorie or the low fat version,

00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:53.320
because low fat usually means way more sugar.

00:15:53.879 --> 00:15:56.700
And here's a great example. Dad was out, because

00:15:56.700 --> 00:15:58.679
we're recording this on Christmas Eve, guys.

00:15:59.039 --> 00:16:00.919
Dad was out getting a bottle of wine. And he

00:16:00.919 --> 00:16:02.960
said, oh, there were two bottles side by side.

00:16:03.059 --> 00:16:06.379
And one said, light. And he said, oh, what's

00:16:06.379 --> 00:16:08.240
the light version? And even I was curious. And

00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:11.240
she said, oh. Small bottle. She says, it's for

00:16:11.240 --> 00:16:14.600
elves. She goes, it's got less alcohol in it.

00:16:14.659 --> 00:16:16.440
And we both went, oh. And she goes, but it's

00:16:16.440 --> 00:16:19.899
got way more sugar added. And we were like, oh.

00:16:20.779 --> 00:16:23.559
Nope. Hard pass on that. Thank you. Yeah. So

00:16:23.559 --> 00:16:27.779
you have to be cautious of things. But I do remember

00:16:27.779 --> 00:16:30.519
you saying, we're paying more attention to labels

00:16:30.519 --> 00:16:33.620
now. Oh my god. Tortillas remember that we were

00:16:33.620 --> 00:16:36.539
in Target and I was you you were making fun of

00:16:36.539 --> 00:16:38.139
me because you were like, oh my god Why are you

00:16:38.139 --> 00:16:40.059
buying all these tortillas? Because anybody who

00:16:40.059 --> 00:16:42.220
knows on the podcast has heard me say a hundred

00:16:42.220 --> 00:16:44.379
times I love those friggin mission carb tortillas

00:16:44.379 --> 00:16:46.799
from Target and I had a cart full of them and

00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:49.659
I'm I'm embarrassed to say like probably 15 packs

00:16:49.659 --> 00:16:52.039
of them and she comes over and makes a face and

00:16:52.039 --> 00:16:54.940
goes Like I don't know why you're buying all

00:16:54.940 --> 00:16:56.899
these and I said, well, they're way better. She

00:16:56.899 --> 00:17:00.100
goes they can't be that much better And I just

00:17:00.100 --> 00:17:03.240
remember you saying that and I said, okay. And

00:17:03.240 --> 00:17:05.380
I flip a pack over and I said, look, there's

00:17:05.380 --> 00:17:07.900
40 calories in this one. I said, the ones at

00:17:07.900 --> 00:17:11.720
home are 110. And you went, no. I said, yeah,

00:17:11.779 --> 00:17:13.960
go look at a tortilla when you get home. And

00:17:13.960 --> 00:17:16.059
sure enough, we went and looked at them and they're

00:17:16.059 --> 00:17:19.640
between 80 to 110 calories of tortilla. And the

00:17:19.640 --> 00:17:23.430
ones at target are 25 to 40. It's just little

00:17:23.430 --> 00:17:24.789
things that you don't think of. You don't think

00:17:24.789 --> 00:17:27.329
of bread as having a ton of sugar. It does. You

00:17:27.329 --> 00:17:29.289
don't think of tortillas as being crazy high

00:17:29.289 --> 00:17:33.250
in calories. Oops, they are. But we've also learned

00:17:33.250 --> 00:17:36.410
good things. So I think you've adopted some new

00:17:36.410 --> 00:17:38.589
recipes and some cool things that you've learned.

00:17:40.329 --> 00:17:41.730
Want to talk about that? What are some of your

00:17:41.730 --> 00:17:43.970
favorite maybe things that you eat now or have

00:17:43.970 --> 00:17:49.789
tried? A street corn soup. Oh, buying the, well,

00:17:49.789 --> 00:17:52.250
we always had the boneless skinless chicken breasts,

00:17:52.289 --> 00:17:55.930
but you can do so much with boneless skinless

00:17:55.930 --> 00:18:01.210
chicken breasts. Cut them in half and make wonderful

00:18:01.210 --> 00:18:05.109
chicken burgers or shred them and make the street

00:18:05.109 --> 00:18:10.930
corn soup. Oh my God. It is so good. Just, you

00:18:10.930 --> 00:18:15.390
have to do your homework. Can you have cheese?

00:18:15.589 --> 00:18:19.160
Yes, you can, but... Everything in moderation.

00:18:19.519 --> 00:18:22.579
Yep. Looking for the milk fat, right? So we buy

00:18:22.579 --> 00:18:25.660
that red fox cheese, right, that Dad likes because

00:18:25.660 --> 00:18:27.900
it's got low milk fat. But you'd never know,

00:18:27.980 --> 00:18:29.660
it tastes just as good. It all tastes the same.

00:18:29.740 --> 00:18:32.759
Tastes as good. Yeah. We were talking about Christmas,

00:18:32.779 --> 00:18:35.140
because right now we have our tradition, right?

00:18:35.160 --> 00:18:36.660
Do you want to tell people what is our tradition

00:18:36.660 --> 00:18:39.640
on Christmas Eve? It would be called Order of

00:18:39.640 --> 00:18:43.200
Night. Order of Night. And we just kind of graze

00:18:43.200 --> 00:18:48.660
everybody. contributes something, but there's

00:18:48.660 --> 00:18:51.660
no meal. It's just no picking at appetizers for

00:18:51.660 --> 00:18:55.440
tonight. Everybody kind of brings or makes their

00:18:55.440 --> 00:19:00.720
favorite dish or something new or you know something

00:19:00.720 --> 00:19:03.420
different that you hope or that you think everyone

00:19:03.420 --> 00:19:08.309
will kind of like years ago. Yes, we used to

00:19:08.309 --> 00:19:10.950
do it the lazy way. You buy a box of chicken

00:19:10.950 --> 00:19:15.490
balls or some egg rolls or... Mozzarella sticks.

00:19:15.930 --> 00:19:19.009
Mozzarella sticks. A lot of fried, deep -fried

00:19:19.009 --> 00:19:21.789
chips. There was chips. Ready -made. Yeah. A

00:19:21.789 --> 00:19:24.769
lot of fatty food. Yeah. What's it look like

00:19:24.769 --> 00:19:26.789
today? Because I actually had to take a picture

00:19:26.789 --> 00:19:29.130
and was like, oh my god, I don't think the Camerons

00:19:29.130 --> 00:19:31.390
have eaten this way in a long time. We have a

00:19:31.390 --> 00:19:35.170
nice charcuterie board with... cheeses and some

00:19:35.170 --> 00:19:41.049
sliced meats, sliced apples. We also have a couple

00:19:41.049 --> 00:19:44.809
of new things, sliced cucumbers, you know, the

00:19:44.809 --> 00:19:49.710
size of a small cracker with cream cheese and

00:19:49.710 --> 00:19:52.849
a little this and that with some smoked salmon.

00:19:54.049 --> 00:19:57.750
It's wonderful. It's great. It's at first you're

00:19:57.750 --> 00:20:00.089
eating them and I don't know, you forget that

00:20:00.089 --> 00:20:03.069
they're not on a cracker. Yeah. But fresh, kind

00:20:03.069 --> 00:20:08.210
of crunchy, kind of nice. We have baked jalapeno

00:20:08.210 --> 00:20:11.390
poppers. They're not fried. They're nice and

00:20:11.390 --> 00:20:17.630
small. They're just little cream cheese. It's

00:20:17.630 --> 00:20:23.369
just a whole different take. Our appetite and

00:20:23.369 --> 00:20:27.589
our cravings, as it were, have completely changed.

00:20:29.620 --> 00:20:31.400
I'm gonna ask you a question that I think a lot

00:20:31.400 --> 00:20:33.440
of people are asking their families or their

00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:36.299
spouses or their partners. You guys just naturally

00:20:36.299 --> 00:20:38.240
changed your eating habits. I didn't force you

00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:40.819
to change your eating habits. You just, you learned

00:20:40.819 --> 00:20:43.259
from me, you asked questions. You became really

00:20:43.259 --> 00:20:45.460
interested in this. I would say you took a really

00:20:45.460 --> 00:20:48.079
big interest in, well, teach me, what are you

00:20:48.079 --> 00:20:49.799
eating? Why are you eating it? And I think I

00:20:49.799 --> 00:20:51.880
remember overhearing you on the phone to Aunt

00:20:51.880 --> 00:20:54.140
Jean once saying, oh my God, I'm learning so

00:20:54.140 --> 00:20:57.400
much from her. And it just made me so happy.

00:20:57.720 --> 00:21:00.539
But you took an interest, and you've just naturally

00:21:00.539 --> 00:21:03.839
changed your eating habits. Are people going

00:21:03.839 --> 00:21:07.559
to be successful? Two questions. Do people's

00:21:07.559 --> 00:21:09.200
families need to completely change their eating

00:21:09.200 --> 00:21:12.000
habits? And then the second question is, are

00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:13.839
people going to be successful if their family

00:21:13.839 --> 00:21:16.259
doesn't support this journey or at least try

00:21:16.259 --> 00:21:19.119
to help with the journey? It's tough, I know.

00:21:21.569 --> 00:21:28.230
I make the meals. So I know firsthand what we

00:21:28.230 --> 00:21:33.809
kind of like and what we don't like. And we all

00:21:33.809 --> 00:21:35.750
have our issues. I have high blood pressure.

00:21:35.930 --> 00:21:41.089
I think we both have high cholesterol. And when

00:21:41.089 --> 00:21:44.190
you get, like as you age, as everybody ages,

00:21:44.589 --> 00:21:47.609
you have health issues kind of crop up. And I

00:21:47.609 --> 00:21:52.720
think everybody needs to kind of trim Like, I

00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:55.299
don't eat the way that I did in my 20s. Correct.

00:21:56.160 --> 00:22:02.900
You have to adjust your eating habits. So, it's

00:22:02.900 --> 00:22:06.299
the way you sell it. The way you market it. Like

00:22:06.299 --> 00:22:10.039
I knew that the soup I thought was going to be

00:22:10.039 --> 00:22:12.799
a success. And you know, I don't tell them anything.

00:22:12.920 --> 00:22:14.859
I don't tell them that, you know. There's no

00:22:14.859 --> 00:22:17.299
sodium or low sugar. Nothing. I just say, got

00:22:17.299 --> 00:22:20.460
a new soup, chicken, corn, like, mmm, yummy.

00:22:21.160 --> 00:22:23.819
You know? This is rabbit pie all over again.

00:22:24.640 --> 00:22:27.660
So, it could be. So, tastes like chicken. So...

00:22:27.660 --> 00:22:31.579
Wasn't chicken. It's the way you sell it. Okay.

00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:35.619
You know? But you know, if you don't... Care

00:22:35.619 --> 00:22:38.059
for it. That's okay. Like, you know, we've often

00:22:38.059 --> 00:22:41.119
had meals that It was okay, but you know, maybe

00:22:41.119 --> 00:22:44.460
you don't have to make it again But we're all

00:22:44.460 --> 00:22:48.740
pretty Pretty easy. So you don't have to advertise

00:22:48.740 --> 00:22:53.599
that you didn't put there's no You just say I

00:22:53.599 --> 00:22:56.539
have a new recipe. Do you like it? And Yeah,

00:22:56.539 --> 00:22:59.279
it's kind of different. You know, it's just I

00:22:59.279 --> 00:23:01.559
think everybody gets into a rut where oh my god

00:23:01.559 --> 00:23:07.549
is the same thing And actually, people look forward

00:23:07.549 --> 00:23:10.390
to trying something different, a little fresher.

00:23:11.450 --> 00:23:13.690
But see, that's kind of the game we play here.

00:23:15.309 --> 00:23:17.769
We'll have a new recipe, and we're sitting around.

00:23:17.829 --> 00:23:22.990
Okay, new recipe. I love this game. We all play

00:23:22.990 --> 00:23:25.130
this game. What do you like about it? What don't

00:23:25.130 --> 00:23:27.250
you like about it? If I were to make it again,

00:23:27.349 --> 00:23:29.339
what should we change? And we collectively, as

00:23:29.339 --> 00:23:31.680
a family, rewrite the recipes. Oh, you know what

00:23:31.680 --> 00:23:33.500
you should add to this? Blah, blah, blah, blah,

00:23:33.559 --> 00:23:39.660
blah. Or, you know, maybe... So... Anyway. Do

00:23:39.660 --> 00:23:41.779
you think people can be successful if their families

00:23:41.779 --> 00:23:44.359
aren't supportive? And there's varying levels

00:23:44.359 --> 00:23:46.839
of supportive. I don't think, to my mom's point,

00:23:47.440 --> 00:23:49.119
families don't have to completely change the

00:23:49.119 --> 00:23:52.230
way they eat, but I... I'll let you weigh in

00:23:52.230 --> 00:23:54.250
before I give my opinion. Can you be successful

00:23:54.250 --> 00:23:56.529
at this if let's say your husband is going to

00:23:56.529 --> 00:23:59.470
keep ordering takeout pizza and brownies or your

00:23:59.470 --> 00:24:01.269
family has decided you do what you want to do,

00:24:01.269 --> 00:24:03.009
but we're not going to get rid of the junk food

00:24:03.009 --> 00:24:09.710
in the house? Can you? Yes, you can be successful.

00:24:11.089 --> 00:24:15.829
Probably take you a little longer. Sometimes

00:24:15.829 --> 00:24:19.630
when people are faced with that, If you're determined

00:24:19.630 --> 00:24:22.069
to be successful, you just have to dig your feet

00:24:22.069 --> 00:24:26.650
in. It's nice to have a little assistance. I

00:24:26.650 --> 00:24:29.009
mean, if you had come and said that, oh my gosh,

00:24:29.009 --> 00:24:35.049
I'm diabetic. Like you have to, you have to support,

00:24:35.309 --> 00:24:38.410
you have to, you can't turn a blind eye. No,

00:24:38.470 --> 00:24:41.769
like you have to support. So it's the same thing

00:24:41.769 --> 00:24:46.829
here. You don't have to, you know. jump on the

00:24:46.829 --> 00:24:51.029
bandwagon. Yeah, you're not having surgery. However,

00:24:51.250 --> 00:24:54.910
when you come to visit or when you're like for

00:24:54.910 --> 00:24:58.609
a special occasion or holiday, it would be nice,

00:24:59.890 --> 00:25:04.130
I think, respectful thing to do is to incorporate

00:25:04.130 --> 00:25:12.069
that person's likes or dislikes or to... help

00:25:12.069 --> 00:25:15.049
them on their journey, like they have to eat

00:25:15.049 --> 00:25:20.730
something. And, you know, it's not complicated.

00:25:21.829 --> 00:25:25.930
It doesn't have to be complicated. But if it

00:25:25.930 --> 00:25:31.970
is, then either bring a meal for yourself. You

00:25:31.970 --> 00:25:34.329
know, hey, that's great, but you know what, I

00:25:34.329 --> 00:25:40.480
made some Greek soup or I had something. and

00:25:40.480 --> 00:25:42.660
bring your own. Well, do you remember when we

00:25:42.660 --> 00:25:45.319
went to Nova Scotia very soon after surgery?

00:25:45.480 --> 00:25:48.180
It was December. And I said to you, please tell

00:25:48.180 --> 00:25:50.480
them not to get anything for me. Right. And I

00:25:50.480 --> 00:25:52.980
showed up to the cottage with a can of tuna and

00:25:52.980 --> 00:25:55.160
a block of cheese. And I was like, I'm good.

00:25:55.259 --> 00:25:56.880
And Jean was like, oh, my God, what is wrong?

00:25:57.000 --> 00:25:59.579
She's not good. And you were like, no. leave

00:25:59.579 --> 00:26:03.579
her be. She doesn't need much. This is all she

00:26:03.579 --> 00:26:05.480
need. And I was like, I'm good. And I'm just

00:26:05.480 --> 00:26:08.559
eating tuna from the can and a block of cheese.

00:26:09.039 --> 00:26:12.259
But I didn't expect anybody else to eat like

00:26:12.259 --> 00:26:14.680
that. And I said, oh, eat. Please eat in front

00:26:14.680 --> 00:26:17.619
of me. And I think here is a great example. I

00:26:17.619 --> 00:26:19.839
don't drink. That's my choice before surgery,

00:26:19.859 --> 00:26:21.440
because you have to give it up before surgery.

00:26:21.680 --> 00:26:23.400
And I just never went back to it after surgery.

00:26:23.599 --> 00:26:26.349
Empty calories, too much sugar, my choice. Everybody

00:26:26.349 --> 00:26:28.430
here still drinks. There's beer. They have wine.

00:26:28.450 --> 00:26:30.089
Thank you. Thank you very much. Yeah. And there's

00:26:30.089 --> 00:26:32.549
still dessert and stuff. So I'll come home and

00:26:32.549 --> 00:26:34.549
there will be fresh squares. And I remember the

00:26:34.549 --> 00:26:36.450
first Christmas I came home, you were like, I'm

00:26:36.450 --> 00:26:39.509
so sorry. I made the squares that you used to

00:26:39.509 --> 00:26:41.730
love. Just don't look in the cold cellar. And

00:26:41.730 --> 00:26:43.710
I said, no, you guys should be eating these.

00:26:44.230 --> 00:26:46.450
Like, eat your squares. There is nothing wrong

00:26:46.450 --> 00:26:48.809
with having some cookies or some squares in the

00:26:48.809 --> 00:26:52.210
house. But you also, you have stuff for me. So

00:26:52.210 --> 00:26:54.309
it's not that you made squares and there's nothing

00:26:54.309 --> 00:26:56.529
for me to eat. You made squares and then said,

00:26:56.650 --> 00:26:58.630
well, I got you sugar -free chocolate or I got

00:26:58.630 --> 00:27:02.109
you some of those candies, the smart sweets that

00:27:02.109 --> 00:27:04.670
you like or there's apples or I got that yogurt

00:27:04.670 --> 00:27:07.650
you really like. Like it's having options for

00:27:07.650 --> 00:27:09.769
someone doesn't mean giving up what you like

00:27:09.769 --> 00:27:12.930
as well. Or hiding things. Oh, don't hide things.

00:27:13.230 --> 00:27:17.829
It's like smokers when they're trying to stop

00:27:17.829 --> 00:27:22.869
smoking. You just can't avoid Every old smoker

00:27:22.869 --> 00:27:26.930
that you used to know exactly at some point in

00:27:26.930 --> 00:27:29.849
time you're going to be in a situation where

00:27:29.849 --> 00:27:35.009
someone is smoking and Well, and it's the same

00:27:35.009 --> 00:27:37.849
thing with with food or like someone's sitting

00:27:37.849 --> 00:27:40.990
there having a big piece of birthday cake Like

00:27:40.990 --> 00:27:44.450
yep, you can't run know and you have to be able

00:27:44.450 --> 00:27:49.789
to if if we're able to acknowledge some changes

00:27:49.789 --> 00:27:54.650
in your diet and accommodate, then you have to

00:27:54.650 --> 00:27:58.630
as well. Well, correct. You know, Alexander wants

00:27:58.630 --> 00:28:02.630
a carrot cake with cream cheese icing. You know,

00:28:02.670 --> 00:28:04.369
maybe you can have a piece of cake, but you don't

00:28:04.369 --> 00:28:06.730
want the icing. Maybe you'd prefer not to have

00:28:06.730 --> 00:28:10.890
it. Which is fine. But that's okay. That's okay

00:28:10.890 --> 00:28:14.329
for you, and it should be okay. For him. For

00:28:14.329 --> 00:28:17.529
us. Exactly. A two -way street. Ding, ding, ding.

00:28:17.630 --> 00:28:20.029
It is a two -way street. You can't expect your

00:28:20.029 --> 00:28:22.230
family to get rid of everything. No. But I do

00:28:22.230 --> 00:28:25.789
think, I personally think you will struggle if

00:28:25.789 --> 00:28:28.450
your immediate family, whether that is you still

00:28:28.450 --> 00:28:30.069
live with your parents or you have a husband

00:28:30.069 --> 00:28:33.869
or a wife, if they're not willing to help and

00:28:33.869 --> 00:28:35.890
give up some of that. And what I mean by that

00:28:35.890 --> 00:28:37.690
is if they're still saying, well, I'm bringing

00:28:37.690 --> 00:28:39.670
bags of chips and candy home because that's what

00:28:39.670 --> 00:28:42.640
I want. It's going to be hard if they're constantly

00:28:42.640 --> 00:28:44.720
bringing takeout home and pizza home and brownies

00:28:44.720 --> 00:28:47.319
home and chips and stuff. I think you will need

00:28:47.319 --> 00:28:50.759
to have a conversation with them and say, you

00:28:50.759 --> 00:28:52.660
got to keep this in the garage or can you eat

00:28:52.660 --> 00:28:55.319
this at work at least for the first year while

00:28:55.319 --> 00:28:57.380
the temptation is still fresh in your mind until

00:28:57.380 --> 00:28:59.859
you get it under control. That doesn't mean they

00:28:59.859 --> 00:29:02.579
can't ever eat the way they want, but there is

00:29:02.579 --> 00:29:04.420
going to be a little give and take that your

00:29:04.420 --> 00:29:08.490
immediate family. It's a respect. Yeah, that

00:29:08.490 --> 00:29:09.470
your immediate family needs to do. As I said

00:29:09.470 --> 00:29:14.210
at the beginning of this little blurb, if you're

00:29:14.210 --> 00:29:16.089
not a part of the solution, you're a part of

00:29:16.089 --> 00:29:19.410
the problem. Is there any advice you want to

00:29:19.410 --> 00:29:21.769
leave people with? This is specifically for people

00:29:21.769 --> 00:29:24.910
who are going to let their family listen to this

00:29:24.910 --> 00:29:27.289
or people who are thinking of having surgery.

00:29:27.349 --> 00:29:29.970
Is there any advice you want to give to people

00:29:29.970 --> 00:29:31.910
who are going to be helping someone through surgery?

00:29:31.910 --> 00:29:35.049
Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. Well, I mean,

00:29:35.049 --> 00:29:38.079
okay. It's in a human nature to be afraid of

00:29:38.079 --> 00:29:43.279
things, I guess. However, like, hey, wade into

00:29:43.279 --> 00:29:48.980
the pool and read, read, read. If you know someone

00:29:48.980 --> 00:29:52.000
or someone has a friend that went through a similar

00:29:52.000 --> 00:29:55.319
or the exact same procedure, talk to them. So,

00:29:55.420 --> 00:29:58.390
hey, listen, my doctor is going to be... going

00:29:58.390 --> 00:29:59.930
through this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:29:59.990 --> 00:30:02.150
How did you get along? Like what were you, you

00:30:02.150 --> 00:30:05.490
know, some issues or like what could I do to

00:30:05.490 --> 00:30:10.329
like really help them or read like honest to

00:30:10.329 --> 00:30:13.190
God, like be informed. Yeah. You know, don't

00:30:13.190 --> 00:30:15.509
put your head in the sand for God's sake. Yeah.

00:30:16.009 --> 00:30:19.289
Just ask questions. Good advice. And I think

00:30:19.289 --> 00:30:22.789
for patients, Share, hey, this is what surgery

00:30:22.789 --> 00:30:24.309
is gonna be like, and this is what I can eat

00:30:24.309 --> 00:30:26.849
for the first month, and this is, share what

00:30:26.849 --> 00:30:28.769
your menu looks like, too. Hey, I have to do

00:30:28.769 --> 00:30:31.150
a two -week liquid diet before, and then I can

00:30:31.150 --> 00:30:33.049
only have this for a month, and then I can't

00:30:33.049 --> 00:30:35.670
start this until this month. The more you tell

00:30:35.670 --> 00:30:37.670
people, the more they can help keep you accountable

00:30:37.670 --> 00:30:40.609
as well. there's pork in that, aren't you not

00:30:40.609 --> 00:30:42.130
supposed to have that for a few more months?

00:30:42.250 --> 00:30:44.849
Oh my God, yes, thank you, right? Like, if they

00:30:44.849 --> 00:30:46.829
know what your pattern's gonna look like, your

00:30:46.829 --> 00:30:48.890
eating habits, like, it's nice to have somebody

00:30:48.890 --> 00:30:50.930
be informed, like, hey, how's your puree stage

00:30:50.930 --> 00:30:53.789
going? Or I saw that you can have applesauce,

00:30:53.849 --> 00:30:56.089
I bought you some applesauce, but I think two

00:30:56.089 --> 00:30:58.789
-way street, like you said, patients also share

00:30:58.789 --> 00:31:01.309
this information with people, share what it's

00:31:01.309 --> 00:31:04.369
like and all that jazz, but it's not hard, I

00:31:04.369 --> 00:31:06.869
think, to support someone through this because...

00:31:06.750 --> 00:31:09.309
It's just a cool way to learn how to eat better,

00:31:09.450 --> 00:31:11.769
to be honest. That's the biggest thing that happened

00:31:11.769 --> 00:31:13.730
in surgery was I just ate differently. There

00:31:13.730 --> 00:31:15.809
was no complications. There was no major need

00:31:15.809 --> 00:31:17.609
to help with anything. There was no wound care,

00:31:17.670 --> 00:31:20.230
nothing. It was really just, hey, I eat differently

00:31:20.230 --> 00:31:23.730
now. Correct. And it's like, oh, OK. Awesome.

00:31:25.089 --> 00:31:28.170
I dig it. No, I think that's great advice. And

00:31:28.170 --> 00:31:30.769
just thanks for being on the podcast and chatting

00:31:30.769 --> 00:31:33.460
through it. I think a lot of people. are just

00:31:33.460 --> 00:31:36.119
curious what it's like, and it's, like my mom

00:31:36.119 --> 00:31:37.859
said a few times, it's way easier than you think

00:31:37.859 --> 00:31:40.160
it is. Don't overcomplicate it. Right. Like,

00:31:40.319 --> 00:31:47.160
you know, like I was afraid, perhaps way back

00:31:47.160 --> 00:31:50.119
when she said she was going to do this because

00:31:50.119 --> 00:31:52.839
I thought, oh my god, I don't know anything.

00:31:52.960 --> 00:31:56.519
Really know, and, you know, and I kind of panicked,

00:31:56.859 --> 00:32:02.279
but you do know. Like, you know, and get involved.

00:32:02.440 --> 00:32:05.279
And I think the nice thing is, in Canada, it's

00:32:05.279 --> 00:32:07.039
not, hey, I'm having surgery, it's in a week.

00:32:07.339 --> 00:32:09.920
It's, hey, I'm doing this, but I'm in the program

00:32:09.920 --> 00:32:12.720
for a year before it happens. That must have

00:32:12.720 --> 00:32:14.460
been pretty comforting to be like, oh, thank

00:32:14.460 --> 00:32:17.839
God, there's steps involved and there's hoops

00:32:17.839 --> 00:32:20.859
to jump through. And it kind of, for family,

00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:22.880
should give you comfort that this is not a quick

00:32:22.880 --> 00:32:25.480
surgery. There are so many things that go into

00:32:25.480 --> 00:32:28.029
it to give you a peace of mind that like... They

00:32:28.029 --> 00:32:30.569
are ready for surgery. They've met with surgeons

00:32:30.569 --> 00:32:32.869
and nurses and internal medicine doctors. They've

00:32:32.869 --> 00:32:35.170
done blood tests and they've done ultrasounds

00:32:35.170 --> 00:32:38.230
and screenings. They really put the steps in

00:32:38.230 --> 00:32:42.589
before you have surgery. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's

00:32:42.589 --> 00:32:46.569
quite a journey. But I'd say it's been a pretty

00:32:46.569 --> 00:32:49.930
good journey. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's been pretty

00:32:49.930 --> 00:32:53.069
incredible where I started to where I am. I guess

00:32:53.069 --> 00:32:55.680
that very last thing to end on. What was that

00:32:55.680 --> 00:32:57.859
like seeing me? Because you saw me when I was

00:32:57.859 --> 00:33:01.819
320 pounds. Yes, I did. To where I am now, which

00:33:01.819 --> 00:33:06.019
is almost 160 pounds lost. But that must have

00:33:06.019 --> 00:33:09.720
been kind of cool, I think, to see from an outside

00:33:09.720 --> 00:33:13.240
perspective. Yes, it was. Yeah, it was. But I

00:33:13.240 --> 00:33:18.980
mean, you just... follow the instructions, the

00:33:18.980 --> 00:33:22.500
eating and maintaining a certain amount of protein

00:33:22.500 --> 00:33:27.740
every day and exercising, you know, just becoming

00:33:27.740 --> 00:33:33.359
more active like most people are. Like a lot

00:33:33.359 --> 00:33:37.380
of it is, it's not foreign, it's just common

00:33:37.380 --> 00:33:42.910
sense. get out, get some sunshine, get some fresh

00:33:42.910 --> 00:33:48.549
air, you know, stretch your legs, and yeah, it's

00:33:48.549 --> 00:33:52.809
really, it's not, it's, there's nothing strange

00:33:52.809 --> 00:33:58.289
about it. It's just reinforcing, you know, a

00:33:58.289 --> 00:34:00.529
Canada's food guide, really. Yeah, basically.

00:34:01.329 --> 00:34:03.349
With a little extra help, because you're not

00:34:03.349 --> 00:34:06.230
as hungry as maybe you were before. Yeah. I love

00:34:06.230 --> 00:34:08.820
it. Well, Thank you for joining me on the podcast,

00:34:09.239 --> 00:34:11.599
mom. I actually really loved being able to just

00:34:11.599 --> 00:34:14.079
chat through this with you. Pick my brain. It

00:34:14.079 --> 00:34:15.639
was great. I think the listeners are going to

00:34:15.639 --> 00:34:17.480
really love hearing from you too. So maybe we'll

00:34:17.480 --> 00:34:20.480
have you back sometime. I know you were nervous

00:34:20.480 --> 00:34:23.000
to do this, but you did really well. So thank

00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:24.659
you very much. Thank you everybody for listening

00:34:24.659 --> 00:34:27.079
to me and my mom, Mary Ann. And if you want to

00:34:27.079 --> 00:34:29.219
have her back on, then drop some comments and

00:34:29.219 --> 00:34:31.420
let me know what she could talk about. She's

00:34:31.420 --> 00:34:33.760
also a retired nurse. So hey, you got any of

00:34:33.760 --> 00:34:37.099
those? medical questions about surgery, she can

00:34:37.099 --> 00:34:40.440
answer. But like always, thank you for listening.

00:34:40.760 --> 00:34:42.739
Have a very Merry Christmas. Steph and I are

00:34:42.739 --> 00:34:46.380
just so happy to have you as our community. And

00:34:46.380 --> 00:34:48.539
thanks, Mom, for joining me. No problem, Hannah.

00:34:48.860 --> 00:34:50.800
Merry Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas.

00:34:51.179 --> 00:34:51.360
Bye.