Episode 40: Holiday Hunger Games: When Sugar Gets Loud and Old Habits Get Sneaky

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Hey Steph. Hello. Welcome back to another episode

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of Bariatric Banter Podcast. Thank you. Thank

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you. Yes, we're coming up to the last three episodes

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of the year, folks. Three. Four. Three? Four.

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Last four episodes of the year. Last some some.

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It's crazy. Like this is our... I mean, technically,

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this is going out December, but I'm going to

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say this is our last November episode of the

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year. Right. Yeah, because it's still November

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when we're recording it. Yeah, technically, like

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just because it's December 1st when it goes out

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doesn't mean anything. So it's happening. It's

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wow. We were almost at a full year of doing this

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podcast. What? Flying by. And there's people

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who have. blown through all of our episodes in

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like a month right what dangers are there yep

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love you guys love that you've blown through

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it um and we are going to respond to comments

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i like stuff and I are just super slammed with

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work. It's so we both work in tech. It's the

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end of the year. Everything is always chaotic

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at the end of the year. And there's a million

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things going on. We will respond. We're just

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busy. I know I haven't posted like anything on

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the bariatric Instagram. I'm still here. I'm

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just really on my own channel posting because

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I'm busy with like Christmas travel work, everything,

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but we're still doing well. We're still hanging

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in there. Life is busy right now. It is. It's

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between work and life. It's just that crazy time

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where everything is just going so fast. It's

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going so fast. It's so busy. And like, honestly,

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that's when I think it feels like bariatric surgery

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feels the most overwhelming. It just feels like,

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how am I supposed to stay on top of this when

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everything is so busy? Yeah, because the last

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thing I want to do is stop and track my food

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in my phone. But I know I have to. And if I don't,

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I'm going to forget it later or regret it later.

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But when I'm running around, the last thing I

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want to do is, oh, hold on, got to put my food

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in my phone. But I got to do it. And it's easier

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to avoid it. Like I definitely will say. I prefer

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to avoid it because I don't want to look at it.

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I don't want to know where it like, it's just

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so much easier. It's like avoiding the scale,

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avoiding everything. And I know being busy is

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like my crutch at the moment and my excuse to

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not deal with it. And it's like, this has to

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stop because it, yeah, we're reaching, we're

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reaching a time that like for some people will

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be easy for others will be the scary times. I

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was just telling stuff like this Christmas, like

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it's going to be. game day head down like there's

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not going to be snacking and there's not chocolate

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and cookies and like not for me this year because

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I have fallen off the wagon I've been working

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hard to get back on it like so for me it's going

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to be a very different Christmas of like no there

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won't there won't be exceptions this year and

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some people will say hey that's harsh but for

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me it's what needs to happen I'm trying to detox

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off of sugar again I'm trying to really really

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get myself back down to 10 grams or less per

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serving because I just went a little too wild

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this summer gained a little bit more than I'm

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happy with. And I want to really reset the clock.

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And I know that sugar is a really bad habit for

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me. Just plays like a really bad habit. So coming

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up on crunch time, we're tired, we're exhausted.

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Yeah, but you know what works for you and you

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know what you need to do. And you know that that's

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the game plan for you. And so that's awesome.

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And if that's what you got to do, then I think

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you'll do it. Yeah. And that's like, I know exactly

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what works best for me, what I want to get back

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on top of. But we are coming up on that period

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of time for a lot of people, both pre and post

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-op, where it's a bit scary. It's the holidays.

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There's a lot of mingling. There's a lot of eating.

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It's very easy to just, oh, it's fine. I'll have

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some of this. I'll have some of that. And yes,

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a bite of this, a bite of this. And then you're

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25 bites in and it doesn't show up right away.

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So there's like. There's the real danger. It

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doesn't show up even in a month, right? It's

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not going to reflect on the scale a week or two

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after eating. And what ends up happening is those

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bad habits kind of slip in where you go, yeah,

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but I ate some of that at Christmas night. I

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was fine. Everything still fits fine. Like I'm

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fine. And then you kind of let it slide a bit

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more and a bit more. And then it's not until

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you, you know, you look and go, oh, that's 30

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pounds that I've gained. Oh, shit. There it is.

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Oh, no. And like it's not an overnight. It's

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not an overnight thing. It's not. And then you're

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into that bad habit now because by that point,

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it's become a habit. And we know how hard habits

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are to build, but how hard they are to break.

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Yes. So then you're back in a habit because you've

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done it consistently. You haven't seen the negative

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impact. And then, like you said, by the time

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you do, not only now do you have to break that

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habit, but you have to undo. everything else

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that has happened. The consequences. Right. Which

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is hard. And like you all remember what it was

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like before surgery. Convincing yourself to give

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up those vices again is even harder. It's even

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harder. No. Doing it once is hard enough. I don't

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want to do it twice. No. And it's harder. And

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so like. Yeah. Yeah. We're coming up on crunch

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time. Like we are at that. Like for me, this

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Christmas will be different. I'm going to be

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way more stringent and way more strict on what

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I do. I'm going to like I am sticking to my walking

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and my exercising like crazy. I don't care if

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it's raining or snowing. I don't care if it's

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cold. Like I am doing 10K a day minimum with

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this dog. We are going out two or three times

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a day. Like it's just what we're doing because

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I need to stay on top of that. So it sucks, right?

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you'd kind of want to maybe put your feet up

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a little or rest a little. But I am responsible

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for why I'm in this situation. So would it have

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been nice to not have to go out in the frigging

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snowstorm this week? Probably. Is that an option?

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Not at the moment. Not until everything gets

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back where it's supposed to be. And then you're

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allowed to have flexibility and freedom to kind

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of... That's why you need a walking pad, Hannah.

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I ain't going out in this shit, let me tell you.

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I got rid of it because I was running instead

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and it was just easier to... I'm going to send

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you a picture of me with my tea or hot chocolate

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or coffee while we're out in the snow. Listen,

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I got to take the dog anyway, because I don't

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really think it's appropriate for him to pee

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on the patio. We'll see. Maybe one day I'll just

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see how that works. But yeah, got to take him

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out anyway, but it's fine. He's looking at me

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like we're going out. No, we're not. Not at all.

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But yeah, it's going to be an interesting Christmas.

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I'm not that worried about it. But it will be

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because I I know how to stay on top of it and

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why it's appropriate to stay on top of it. So

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that's that's you know, we're coming up on that

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time of year. Work parties, Christmas parties,

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gifts from people. It's one of those things where

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like I think last year or the year before, I

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would just re gift food that I was given. Yeah.

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And nice in the nicest way possible. I would

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just be like, oh, I can't have this. I'm going

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to re gift it. Yeah. That's my recommendation

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as well. It's a slippery slope to keep. the candy

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and the chocolates and the stuff in the house.

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It's so hard with all the social gatherings around

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the holidays. That's the one thing like, I sound

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like such a anti -social person, but being out

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where we are, we don't have as many social get

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togethers as we used to when we lived in town.

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So, which on one hand is not as fun, but on the

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other hand has been a huge saving grace because

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we don't have. so many parties. We don't have

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so many get togethers or not. We weren't surrounded

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with that. We got snowed in the other year, so

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we couldn't go anywhere. So that was super helpful

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and handy because we couldn't make it to half

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of the Christmas activities we were supposed

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to go to because we got snowed in and everything

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was closed. So I got really lucky. But even then,

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you have to remember the why. You do remember

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all the work you've put in and you just have

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to, like we said, remember how it can be a slippery

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slope. And like, you know, that for you, you

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need to put your foot down and you need to be

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super strict. And maybe, maybe the next person

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doesn't have to do that. Right. Like we're not

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saying you can't have any treats at Christmas.

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Right. Never. Oh, we just talked in our last

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episode about like. not having diet mentality

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and not eating the pizza. However, you also have

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to know what works for you and you have to know

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what you can handle and be honest with yourself,

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right? If you are the person that can have a

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bite of the cookie and be like, yep, that's good.

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I had it. I'm fine. Cool. But if you know that

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you're going to have that first bite and go,

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oh my God, that was so good. And that's all you're

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going to think about. Maybe it's better if you

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just skip the cookie. Yep. Because you don't

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want to start obsessing over it or thinking about

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it. It's just little things. And it's right.

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It's not, we don't like the diet mentality where

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you can't have this and you can't have that.

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And we're definitely not advocating for that.

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It's just more of a, I know. that at this time

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this is the balance for me and I'm just going

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to be more strict than I have been maybe in the

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past where I've had some of this and had some

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of that and had some of this because I know that

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I'm in a period of time right now where I'm trying

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to rein that in if I was a little bit better

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behaved and I was okay with it great but I know

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that things got just a little bit out of hand

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and I know how addicting the sugar can be and

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it's little things too like I would rather have

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you know, like one of my really good, like my,

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what is it? A spiced pear and maple wall or like

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that shit is yogurt. I'd rather have that with

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like some banana or like stew, some apples, like

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in a pit, like I'd rather make something that

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I can have versus eating like those mint smoothie

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squares or like the new thing, you know, those

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reeds reeds makes this chocolate mint smoothie.

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That's basically like, I don't know, a half pound

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brick of chocolate. And I did the math on the,

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it's like 30 grams of sugar in that. And I was

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like, Hey, somebody eat it. Yes. The size probably

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could be easy to get down. Should you, I'm going

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to say probably not pants. It's just going to,

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well, I mean, even if you didn't, right, it's

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a slippery slope because you're going to have

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one and then your sugar high is going to get

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other things. Like, are you going to be strict

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enough to go? That's my one thing. And I'm not

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eating any more chocolate. cookies this week?

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Probably not. So sugar in your body, your body's

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going to be off the wall and it's just going

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to say, give me more, give me more, give me more,

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give me more. Yeah. It's going to want that all

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the time. I think that's the thing that like

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I, I struggled with and I'm, I'm sure other people

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are as well is that there isn't like an instant

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connection. You don't have that. And then your

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body goes, Oh my God, I'm addicted to sugar.

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Here we go. But you don't realize that you're

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I don't even know how to describe it. Like your

00:11:27.289 --> 00:11:29.710
body and the sugar in your body is almost subliminally

00:11:29.710 --> 00:11:32.570
making you choose other things. Like we all know

00:11:32.570 --> 00:11:34.370
food noise is a problem. And again, you've heard

00:11:34.370 --> 00:11:37.289
us say we're obese for a reason. We definitely

00:11:37.289 --> 00:11:39.669
didn't get hit with genetic obesity. Like genetics

00:11:39.669 --> 00:11:41.809
play a role in it, guys, but it didn't make us

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three to 400 pounds, right? It made it so that

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it was really hard for us to lose weight. But

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what I'm worried about, because I'm noticing

00:11:48.809 --> 00:11:51.929
it, is because I've let some bad habits back

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in and let some eating patterns slide. It's almost

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subliminal now sometimes where I'll just be in

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the kitchen picking something and I'll go, whoa,

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what are you doing? Or that little voice that's

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like, oh, you have pottery in an hour and you

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didn't make dinner and you should just go to

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McDonald's and it's fine to have McDonald's one

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day a week. It's on your way to pottery and you

00:12:09.580 --> 00:12:12.059
should just go get it. But it's so subliminally

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in there and it's so good at convincing you that

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it's totally okay. And I do blame the sugar and

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the bad eating because it has never been this

00:12:21.559 --> 00:12:25.070
bad. that I've had to fight those like, whoa,

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what are you doing? No, you won't be eating that.

00:12:27.909 --> 00:12:31.230
No, you will not be taking a takeout. No, just

00:12:31.230 --> 00:12:33.669
because you can have a mint smoothie bar does

00:12:33.669 --> 00:12:36.769
not mean you need to, like, I don't know. It's

00:12:36.769 --> 00:12:38.490
almost like I'm fighting with myself that like,

00:12:38.509 --> 00:12:40.470
why did you have the surgery if you're going

00:12:40.470 --> 00:12:42.269
to then just go back to eating all this stuff?

00:12:42.429 --> 00:12:44.269
If you're just going to let all your old habits

00:12:44.269 --> 00:12:48.110
slip in, what was the point? And then it's like,

00:12:48.350 --> 00:12:51.850
yes, I know we're contradicting ourselves. Yes,

00:12:51.870 --> 00:12:54.639
we do say. diet mentality is not what we promote

00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:57.360
here and it's not however nowhere in surgery

00:12:57.360 --> 00:12:59.200
did it say you can have the surgery and go back

00:12:59.200 --> 00:13:02.139
to eating shit like it definitely said to be

00:13:02.139 --> 00:13:04.659
successful like some of you most of you will

00:13:04.659 --> 00:13:07.659
have to give up fast food chocolates candy forever

00:13:07.659 --> 00:13:10.460
like it's it's we know those things cause you

00:13:10.460 --> 00:13:12.679
to gain weight cause anybody not just obese people

00:13:12.679 --> 00:13:15.419
but anybody yeah and it goes back to because

00:13:15.419 --> 00:13:20.279
most of it most of it most of us don't have the

00:13:20.279 --> 00:13:24.090
discipline Correct. To only have the one bite

00:13:24.090 --> 00:13:27.629
or to only have the McDonald's chicken nuggets

00:13:27.629 --> 00:13:30.669
once a month or once every two months or whatever

00:13:30.669 --> 00:13:33.529
it may be. Most of us have the personality type

00:13:33.529 --> 00:13:37.009
where once we taste it and once we have it, we

00:13:37.009 --> 00:13:41.210
need it and we can't shut it off. And so that's

00:13:41.210 --> 00:13:43.230
where that comes from. It's not the fact that

00:13:43.230 --> 00:13:46.230
food, this is bad and you can't ever put this

00:13:46.230 --> 00:13:50.009
in your body. It's because a lot of us. don't

00:13:50.009 --> 00:13:52.370
have the willpower and the discipline to stop

00:13:52.370 --> 00:13:57.710
after the bite or stop after that little piece

00:13:57.710 --> 00:14:01.809
goes in, you're satiated, you're good. We convince

00:14:01.809 --> 00:14:03.490
ourselves that, well, we can just have a little

00:14:03.490 --> 00:14:04.730
bit more. Well, we can just have a little bit

00:14:04.730 --> 00:14:07.039
more. We can have a little bit more. That's where

00:14:07.039 --> 00:14:10.419
it comes from. It's for addicts. That's why they

00:14:10.419 --> 00:14:13.059
talk about transfer addiction because that mentality

00:14:13.059 --> 00:14:16.299
and that personality trait is so hard to get

00:14:16.299 --> 00:14:19.480
rid of that a lot of people transfer that into

00:14:19.480 --> 00:14:21.919
something else because they can't turn it off.

00:14:22.320 --> 00:14:26.379
Gym, excessive shopping, drinking. Yeah, they

00:14:26.379 --> 00:14:29.700
transfer it to a lot of things because... None

00:14:29.700 --> 00:14:31.720
of us want to deal with the uncomfortable feelings

00:14:31.720 --> 00:14:34.220
or emotions or whatever it is that drove us to

00:14:34.220 --> 00:14:36.940
eat. And so we desperately want to put that off

00:14:36.940 --> 00:14:40.340
in other places. But you're right. And I don't

00:14:40.340 --> 00:14:42.320
use the word addicts lightly. And I am in no

00:14:42.320 --> 00:14:45.080
way trying to say what a drug addict goes through

00:14:45.080 --> 00:14:46.600
and what we go through is the same. However,

00:14:46.840 --> 00:14:49.600
obesity has been classified as an addiction.

00:14:50.100 --> 00:14:54.379
It is an issue. It's an epidemic. It is what

00:14:54.379 --> 00:14:57.500
it is. it's not even that you won't be able to

00:14:57.500 --> 00:14:59.259
stop in that moment because a lot of people listening

00:14:59.259 --> 00:15:01.159
are going to be like oh guys like I can have

00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:03.159
half a muffin and be fine and like I've walked

00:15:03.159 --> 00:15:04.960
away from cookies and stuff what are you having

00:15:04.960 --> 00:15:07.840
two hours later and two hours later it's that

00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:10.759
even if you don't finish the whole thing and

00:15:10.759 --> 00:15:12.720
you portion control and you feel good about it

00:15:12.720 --> 00:15:16.519
it's that eventually things start to slide not

00:15:16.519 --> 00:15:18.580
in that moment maybe but eventually where it's

00:15:18.580 --> 00:15:21.980
like well, I'm going to have another thing later

00:15:21.980 --> 00:15:24.779
today. Or, you know, well, I'm going to have

00:15:24.779 --> 00:15:26.279
a chocolate, even though I had one at the beginning

00:15:26.279 --> 00:15:27.779
of the week, whatever, it's far enough apart.

00:15:28.059 --> 00:15:30.379
I don't really need to go out for a walk today.

00:15:30.480 --> 00:15:32.539
Like I'm doing really good. And I've lost a lot

00:15:32.539 --> 00:15:35.179
of like, you start making excuses because your

00:15:35.179 --> 00:15:38.220
old self kicks in. So how do they describe like

00:15:38.220 --> 00:15:41.200
in therapy, they describe it as your brain makes

00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:44.460
pathways. yes when you have anxiety it carves

00:15:44.460 --> 00:15:46.399
a pathway and it always just wants to stay in

00:15:46.399 --> 00:15:49.019
the path it really doesn't want to make new paths

00:15:49.019 --> 00:15:51.379
so that's why it's like sometimes certain things

00:15:51.379 --> 00:15:54.019
will just cause you to react a certain way it's

00:15:54.019 --> 00:15:56.100
your brain being like oh there's the path i know

00:15:56.100 --> 00:15:57.700
that path i'm going to run down that path and

00:15:57.700 --> 00:15:59.679
it's like oh i thought we dealt with this like

00:15:59.679 --> 00:16:01.559
why are we still going down this path oh because

00:16:01.559 --> 00:16:04.279
it exists and i just want to use it so your body's

00:16:04.279 --> 00:16:08.620
the same way it got obese following a path. It

00:16:08.620 --> 00:16:11.360
knows exactly what to do to get you to eat, to

00:16:11.360 --> 00:16:13.559
get you to be obese and to get you to do exactly

00:16:13.559 --> 00:16:15.340
what it wants to do. Because like, ultimately

00:16:15.340 --> 00:16:18.139
it, it wants to be able to go back to eating

00:16:18.139 --> 00:16:23.379
whatever the woman wants to eat. Yeah. It's the

00:16:23.379 --> 00:16:25.039
path of least resistance. The path is already

00:16:25.039 --> 00:16:27.299
there. It's already laid out. It's already cleared.

00:16:27.440 --> 00:16:30.799
It's easy to get there versus having to build

00:16:30.799 --> 00:16:33.879
a new path and clear down the trees and clear

00:16:33.879 --> 00:16:36.720
out the way and cut the grass and make. pull

00:16:36.720 --> 00:16:39.559
the stones out and make that path takes work

00:16:39.559 --> 00:16:43.159
and time and effort. And if we don't have to

00:16:43.159 --> 00:16:47.639
do that, then why would we do that? Exactly.

00:16:47.639 --> 00:16:52.620
So that old you. is still like that old obesity

00:16:52.620 --> 00:16:54.840
was still in there. It doesn't just magically

00:16:54.840 --> 00:16:56.899
disappear because you've had bariatric surgery.

00:16:57.080 --> 00:16:59.779
And whether it's a year post -op, three years,

00:16:59.980 --> 00:17:02.399
10 years, everyone who's had surgery has said

00:17:02.399 --> 00:17:05.339
there, there was a moment in time where the noise

00:17:05.339 --> 00:17:07.380
came back, where there was a bit of regain, like

00:17:07.380 --> 00:17:11.799
every single person from the best to other, like

00:17:11.799 --> 00:17:14.279
at some people can't fight and gain everything

00:17:14.279 --> 00:17:16.480
back. And some people get back on top of it,

00:17:16.500 --> 00:17:18.799
but. Everybody will go through this moment where

00:17:18.799 --> 00:17:21.559
that old person comes back and all those little

00:17:21.559 --> 00:17:24.839
excuses and that self -soothing. Or are you feeling

00:17:24.839 --> 00:17:26.660
sick? Like, I think it's totally okay to have

00:17:26.660 --> 00:17:28.240
that because you're just not feeling well. Like,

00:17:28.240 --> 00:17:31.480
though you're tired today, just have it. Oh,

00:17:31.500 --> 00:17:33.650
it's fine. You've lost so much weight. Like,

00:17:33.650 --> 00:17:35.069
it's totally fine. Oh, my God, it's only five

00:17:35.069 --> 00:17:37.089
pounds. Like, you can lose that tomorrow. You'll

00:17:37.089 --> 00:17:38.970
start working out a bit more harder tomorrow.

00:17:39.089 --> 00:17:40.509
You know what? You'll start meal prepping in

00:17:40.509 --> 00:17:41.829
a week. Like, it's totally fine. You're going

00:17:41.829 --> 00:17:43.410
to get back on top of this. Don't even worry.

00:17:43.569 --> 00:17:46.869
All those voices keep coming back to justify

00:17:46.869 --> 00:17:49.930
letting you make bad decisions. And it's very

00:17:49.930 --> 00:17:54.490
easy to slide back in. And you think it wouldn't

00:17:54.490 --> 00:17:58.200
be. And you think you'll fight it. Your body

00:17:58.200 --> 00:18:00.359
is really good at knowing how to convince you

00:18:00.359 --> 00:18:02.680
not to. And that's what I think everyone needs

00:18:02.680 --> 00:18:05.500
to remember is like, it comes when you're not

00:18:05.500 --> 00:18:08.039
able to fight it, right? Like it's not going

00:18:08.039 --> 00:18:09.559
to come on a day. You don't even realize it's

00:18:09.559 --> 00:18:12.519
there. Ding, ding, ding. It doesn't show up on

00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:14.380
a day that you are like eating your Wheaties

00:18:14.380 --> 00:18:16.900
and feeling a bit like it slips in. After you've

00:18:16.900 --> 00:18:19.400
done it, you've eaten it. And then you're, you're

00:18:19.400 --> 00:18:22.240
sitting there 10 minutes later and go, Oh my

00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:25.180
God, what did I just do? Why did I do that? And

00:18:25.180 --> 00:18:27.839
you almost go into like robot mode and you didn't

00:18:27.839 --> 00:18:31.240
even realize you did it and that it's happened.

00:18:31.319 --> 00:18:33.200
And at that point it's over. And then you just

00:18:33.200 --> 00:18:36.799
sit there going, oh, shit. And then you get kind

00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:40.240
of further down and then the voice starts saying,

00:18:40.380 --> 00:18:43.680
oh, you know what? I've already gained 10 pounds.

00:18:43.779 --> 00:18:46.720
What's another five? And, oh, I could go on Ozempic

00:18:46.720 --> 00:18:48.859
and lose it all. Or, oh, I'll deal with it. Like

00:18:48.859 --> 00:18:50.859
you start to get, because like I'm telling you,

00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:53.549
I'm. I've gone through this cycle. I'll go on

00:18:53.549 --> 00:18:56.990
Ozempic. It'll be fine. Oh, I'll start exercising

00:18:56.990 --> 00:18:59.289
more tomorrow. Oh, I'll meal prep. Like, and

00:18:59.289 --> 00:19:01.710
it, it really took a moment sitting in the doctor's

00:19:01.710 --> 00:19:05.250
office like a month ago for us to be like, Hey,

00:19:05.329 --> 00:19:08.039
what the fuck's going on? And it's like. holy

00:19:08.039 --> 00:19:10.839
sweet fuck i was like listen i know that we talked

00:19:10.839 --> 00:19:12.759
about a zampic for blood sugar so i think i used

00:19:12.759 --> 00:19:15.359
it as an excuse to just stop caring about things

00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:16.920
because i was like oh well we're gonna start

00:19:16.920 --> 00:19:19.160
it for blood and spoilers i haven't started it

00:19:19.160 --> 00:19:22.500
yet because my blood sugar ended up like kind

00:19:22.500 --> 00:19:24.500
of overnight just figuring it shit out and so

00:19:24.500 --> 00:19:26.140
now we're just doing some blood work to be like

00:19:26.140 --> 00:19:29.740
what the what's going on there what like i'm

00:19:29.740 --> 00:19:32.720
fine but he was like huh. And I was like, yeah,

00:19:32.799 --> 00:19:34.779
told you, told you it was like a weird blip.

00:19:34.900 --> 00:19:37.880
But I think knowing that in the summer, knowing

00:19:37.880 --> 00:19:40.079
in August that we had this conversation that,

00:19:40.119 --> 00:19:41.500
you know, I was going to get the prescription

00:19:41.500 --> 00:19:45.579
in September. I definitely heard the voice being

00:19:45.579 --> 00:19:47.200
like, whatever, you're going to start Ozempic

00:19:47.200 --> 00:19:49.319
soon. So like, do whatever you want, do whatever

00:19:49.319 --> 00:19:51.500
you want, do whatever you want. And I moved and

00:19:51.500 --> 00:19:53.759
I had all this, like, I had a lot of stress and

00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:56.400
things going on. And when that happens, you just

00:19:56.400 --> 00:19:59.349
stop. putting effort into other things right

00:19:59.349 --> 00:20:01.529
that you think you can just put on autopilot

00:20:01.529 --> 00:20:03.549
and that's when you know i was in his office

00:20:03.549 --> 00:20:07.869
before october and he was like um so we've gained

00:20:07.869 --> 00:20:12.970
some weight and i was like oh my god i was like

00:20:12.970 --> 00:20:15.269
the and like it felt overwhelming to be like

00:20:15.269 --> 00:20:18.529
how the how the fuck am i supposed to like this

00:20:18.529 --> 00:20:21.170
is like and i i remember just being like how

00:20:21.170 --> 00:20:25.329
in the fuck did this happen well I stopped running

00:20:25.329 --> 00:20:27.609
because I had blood sugar issues I started eating

00:20:27.609 --> 00:20:29.430
more sugar because I thought I had to balance

00:20:29.430 --> 00:20:31.930
the blood the low blood sugar issues right like

00:20:31.930 --> 00:20:34.089
I didn't have high blood sugar I was having really

00:20:34.089 --> 00:20:37.109
low blood sugar so I tried to course correct

00:20:37.109 --> 00:20:39.809
it by like increasing sugar and increase and

00:20:39.809 --> 00:20:42.170
like I can tell you right from the moment I started

00:20:42.170 --> 00:20:45.009
doing that till now that sugar had a really bad

00:20:45.009 --> 00:20:47.910
impact on me and it wasn't instantaneous it took

00:20:47.910 --> 00:20:52.500
until like now yeah it's no it builds up over

00:20:52.500 --> 00:20:56.579
time and not that, that voice is scary. And that's

00:20:56.579 --> 00:20:58.220
why, like we've said so many times too. And I

00:20:58.220 --> 00:21:02.460
was talking to somebody on the weekend who actually

00:21:02.460 --> 00:21:05.539
is a friend of Denise's. We talk about Denise

00:21:05.539 --> 00:21:08.720
all the time. And she's going to be starting

00:21:08.720 --> 00:21:12.240
her surgical journey. She got accepted into the

00:21:12.240 --> 00:21:14.619
program. So we can chat and talking. And I said,

00:21:14.700 --> 00:21:19.099
that's why we say that so much of this is mental.

00:21:19.160 --> 00:21:23.130
And I said to her, get your shit in. I said it

00:21:23.130 --> 00:21:25.190
nicer, but I said, get your shit in check. Now

00:21:25.190 --> 00:21:27.970
he said, get your habits in place. Now track,

00:21:28.089 --> 00:21:29.990
start tracking your food, start walking, start

00:21:29.990 --> 00:21:31.490
working on your hydration. You have to perfect

00:21:31.490 --> 00:21:34.730
it now, but start building those habits now,

00:21:34.829 --> 00:21:39.630
because once for, for me, now that I've hit 12

00:21:39.630 --> 00:21:42.230
months and literally like a fricking switch went

00:21:42.230 --> 00:21:45.410
off and I stopped losing. And I, well, um, I

00:21:45.410 --> 00:21:47.980
said now for me, It's mental. I know how to track

00:21:47.980 --> 00:21:51.180
my food. I know how to do my portions. I know

00:21:51.180 --> 00:21:53.359
my macros. I know what I need to eat. I know

00:21:53.359 --> 00:21:55.819
all of that stuff. Now the mental game kicks

00:21:55.819 --> 00:21:59.519
in and this is where the voice is coming back

00:21:59.519 --> 00:22:03.619
because I literally hit 12 months and the scale

00:22:03.619 --> 00:22:07.980
stopped. I have been yo -yoing back and forth

00:22:07.980 --> 00:22:10.559
between one and a half pounds for the last six

00:22:10.559 --> 00:22:14.390
weeks and I am beyond pissed off about it. And

00:22:14.390 --> 00:22:17.930
I just before this had a call with my new therapist

00:22:17.930 --> 00:22:19.670
who, oh my gosh, I love her so much. But anyway,

00:22:19.829 --> 00:22:21.930
we were chatting and I was telling her like,

00:22:22.069 --> 00:22:25.210
I picked this arbitrary number that I should

00:22:25.210 --> 00:22:27.589
not have picked. I picked a goal weight, which

00:22:27.589 --> 00:22:30.089
we're not supposed to do. And I said, I don't

00:22:30.089 --> 00:22:31.650
know where I got the number from. I don't know

00:22:31.650 --> 00:22:33.230
why I picked this number. I don't know where

00:22:33.230 --> 00:22:35.509
I got the number from, but I somehow got it in

00:22:35.509 --> 00:22:37.390
my head that this is the number I need to hit.

00:22:37.609 --> 00:22:40.309
And now I'm really pissed off that I'm not losing.

00:22:40.619 --> 00:22:42.779
at all. The scale is not moving and I'm doing

00:22:42.779 --> 00:22:45.319
all the things. And so now that little voice

00:22:45.319 --> 00:22:48.980
kicks in and says, well, what's the point? Why

00:22:48.980 --> 00:22:53.500
are you still doing all the things if six weeks

00:22:53.500 --> 00:22:56.839
later, nothing's happening? Why are you still

00:22:56.839 --> 00:22:58.339
working out and why are you tracking your food?

00:22:58.440 --> 00:23:01.019
And clearly you're like, why? Why are you doing

00:23:01.019 --> 00:23:04.819
this? And that's when you need to start remembering.

00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:09.819
all of the other reasons why all of the other

00:23:09.819 --> 00:23:12.299
good things all of the other positive things

00:23:12.299 --> 00:23:17.779
because that's when it creeps in of well if the

00:23:17.779 --> 00:23:19.779
if the scale is not moving anyway then just have

00:23:19.779 --> 00:23:22.339
the have some cookie like it's not it's not going

00:23:22.339 --> 00:23:24.059
to impact anything because you're not moving

00:23:24.059 --> 00:23:28.619
anyway and it easily starts to creep in and that's

00:23:28.619 --> 00:23:31.880
when you have to have those habits in place and

00:23:31.880 --> 00:23:34.940
you have to have every those things nailed down

00:23:35.789 --> 00:23:39.609
So that number one, you can have your other item

00:23:39.609 --> 00:23:41.009
that you're going to turn to. I'm not going to

00:23:41.009 --> 00:23:42.569
have the cookie. I'm going to have my tea. I'm

00:23:42.569 --> 00:23:43.849
not going to have the cookie. I'm going to have

00:23:43.849 --> 00:23:46.190
a decaf coffee or I'm going to have whatever.

00:23:47.089 --> 00:23:49.609
And no, I need to move my body because I know

00:23:49.609 --> 00:23:53.410
my VO2 max has gone up. I know my blood pressure

00:23:53.410 --> 00:23:56.809
has gone down. I know my blood work has come

00:23:56.809 --> 00:24:01.289
back. You have to have other motivators because

00:24:01.289 --> 00:24:02.930
that's the other thing that I was talking to

00:24:02.930 --> 00:24:06.299
her about is. When you're in that initial phase

00:24:06.299 --> 00:24:09.039
and the weight's falling off, you're so motivated.

00:24:09.400 --> 00:24:12.180
You're so motivated to keep going because you're

00:24:12.180 --> 00:24:16.059
having success. And for so many of us, we haven't

00:24:16.059 --> 00:24:19.400
had success in so long. Or it's such short -term

00:24:19.400 --> 00:24:22.079
success. And then we plateau and then we fail.

00:24:22.279 --> 00:24:26.019
So it's so easy to stay on track because the

00:24:26.019 --> 00:24:28.920
weight is falling off. A hundred percent. Yeah.

00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:33.160
And when that stops, that motivation is gone.

00:24:33.710 --> 00:24:38.950
Yeah. Again, why am I getting up at five to work

00:24:38.950 --> 00:24:43.150
out and track my food when before the scale would

00:24:43.150 --> 00:24:44.869
move every day or every couple of days? Yeah,

00:24:44.890 --> 00:24:47.250
maybe it'll go for two days, but I know it's

00:24:47.250 --> 00:24:51.569
coming down. But now, six weeks in, it's not

00:24:51.569 --> 00:24:56.839
moving an inch. Correct. Why am I? It gets frustrating.

00:24:56.920 --> 00:24:59.779
And that voice is real. Like, and sometimes it

00:24:59.779 --> 00:25:01.859
comes at a year. Sometimes it comes at two. Sometimes

00:25:01.859 --> 00:25:03.619
it comes at three. But there just kind of comes

00:25:03.619 --> 00:25:07.160
a moment where waiting for the right time to

00:25:07.160 --> 00:25:09.740
sneak in. Yep. To sneak in and start to go, oh,

00:25:09.799 --> 00:25:12.900
I found the week. I found the week season. I

00:25:12.900 --> 00:25:14.440
found it. I'm going to sneak in and I'm going

00:25:14.440 --> 00:25:16.380
to convince them to like stop working on this

00:25:16.380 --> 00:25:18.619
and stop doing it. And if you gain a little bit

00:25:18.619 --> 00:25:20.740
of weight, it gets even worse. And then also.

00:25:21.849 --> 00:25:24.009
Sometimes you just have bad seasons. So sometimes

00:25:24.009 --> 00:25:26.369
the winter season is great. Everybody seems to

00:25:26.369 --> 00:25:28.730
be in like a great mood and they're handling

00:25:28.730 --> 00:25:30.809
the weather really well. And then sometimes the

00:25:30.809 --> 00:25:33.009
seasons are shit. And unfortunately, this feels

00:25:33.009 --> 00:25:35.809
like one of those shit seasons where everybody

00:25:35.809 --> 00:25:37.910
seems like they're kind of struggling a little.

00:25:38.430 --> 00:25:40.609
They're a little down and a little depressed,

00:25:40.670 --> 00:25:42.650
like seasonal affective disorder seems to be

00:25:42.650 --> 00:25:45.609
really hitting people hard this year. This is

00:25:45.609 --> 00:25:48.740
that prime time to be like, well. just sit and

00:25:48.740 --> 00:25:50.740
eat during the winter who cares you know oh you

00:25:50.740 --> 00:25:53.400
know what it's dark and depressing just eat if

00:25:53.400 --> 00:25:56.160
eat if eating makes you feel happy then just

00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:59.119
eat or so like you have to also watch spring

00:25:59.119 --> 00:26:03.299
yeah yeah you just have to watch even those things

00:26:03.299 --> 00:26:05.220
too right like you just have to watch like am

00:26:05.220 --> 00:26:08.329
i eating for the right reasons like am I just

00:26:08.329 --> 00:26:10.930
replacing am I literally going back to where

00:26:10.930 --> 00:26:13.250
I was before where I'm eating to soothe myself

00:26:13.250 --> 00:26:15.769
or eating because I'm stressed or eating because

00:26:15.769 --> 00:26:18.970
it's winter or eating because like or am I hungry

00:26:18.970 --> 00:26:22.309
yeah and those come back and like this notion

00:26:22.309 --> 00:26:24.069
that you'll have restriction for the rest of

00:26:24.069 --> 00:26:26.269
your life or that surgery doesn't work because

00:26:26.269 --> 00:26:28.609
you can eat anything like surgery is not magic

00:26:28.609 --> 00:26:31.559
so You'll go back to full portion sizes. You

00:26:31.559 --> 00:26:33.319
will go back to being able to eat high sugar,

00:26:33.339 --> 00:26:35.740
high fat. You will not have restrictions forever.

00:26:36.119 --> 00:26:39.279
And that's why, like, we stress the habits. I

00:26:39.279 --> 00:26:41.339
don't like when people are like, well, I can

00:26:41.339 --> 00:26:43.119
have it now during my first year, like, whatever.

00:26:43.220 --> 00:26:45.259
Like, stop trying to get away with eating stuff

00:26:45.259 --> 00:26:47.500
you know you're not supposed to, even if you

00:26:47.500 --> 00:26:50.539
feel good. I'm tired of hearing, well, I ate

00:26:50.539 --> 00:26:52.599
it and I felt fine. Like, oh, Hannah, you can't

00:26:52.599 --> 00:26:54.880
have ice cream. I ate ice cream and I feel totally

00:26:54.880 --> 00:26:57.460
fine about it. And it's like, okay, well, I can't

00:26:57.460 --> 00:26:59.750
because I'll shit my pants. I was like, also,

00:26:59.829 --> 00:27:01.609
I shouldn't be though. I shouldn't have been

00:27:01.609 --> 00:27:03.869
trying to eat ice cream in my first year. I'm

00:27:03.869 --> 00:27:06.309
glad that I had the reaction I had because what

00:27:06.309 --> 00:27:09.150
the fuck was I thinking? Like there's, I don't

00:27:09.150 --> 00:27:10.470
know, there's a lot of people that will post

00:27:10.470 --> 00:27:12.309
online and a lot of people I just know who've

00:27:12.309 --> 00:27:14.829
had the surgery that are constantly talking about

00:27:14.829 --> 00:27:17.069
when can I eat this again or I can eat this again

00:27:17.069 --> 00:27:18.930
and I love it. And I'm like, and they just want

00:27:18.930 --> 00:27:20.910
to go back to eating all the things they ate

00:27:20.910 --> 00:27:23.619
before. Okay. But that doesn't mean you should.

00:27:23.819 --> 00:27:25.920
Yeah. It doesn't mean you should be getting out

00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:28.519
or going to a restaurant three times a week or

00:27:28.519 --> 00:27:30.819
eating ice cream or eat it. Like just because

00:27:30.819 --> 00:27:33.279
you can, doesn't mean you should, because this

00:27:33.279 --> 00:27:36.400
is where the problem comes from. Yeah. And that's

00:27:36.400 --> 00:27:39.099
not a surgery thing. That's just being mindful.

00:27:39.099 --> 00:27:40.940
That's just a life thing. If you're on a, if

00:27:40.940 --> 00:27:43.400
you were on a diet or you were training for something

00:27:43.400 --> 00:27:46.559
like once you stop doing that, it comes back.

00:27:46.619 --> 00:27:49.680
So like, it's the same with surgery where. Unless

00:27:49.680 --> 00:27:51.619
you're going to make exercise and like you're

00:27:51.619 --> 00:27:55.940
new, like really never miss a day. Then if you

00:27:55.940 --> 00:27:58.660
eat that stuff, it will cause you to gain weight.

00:28:00.039 --> 00:28:02.880
Like that's what we learned in the program. Eat

00:28:02.880 --> 00:28:05.660
whole foods, eat healthy, meal prep, occasion,

00:28:06.059 --> 00:28:08.700
occasional snacks. I think people need to learn

00:28:08.700 --> 00:28:10.839
like occasional means like maybe once a month,

00:28:10.940 --> 00:28:14.279
not several times a week, not an occasional.

00:28:15.150 --> 00:28:17.029
I say nuggets at McDonald's just because they

00:28:17.029 --> 00:28:19.150
fit into macros fairly well. Yeah, they do actually.

00:28:19.529 --> 00:28:21.910
Yeah, but like nuggets at McDonald's occasionally

00:28:21.910 --> 00:28:27.690
means it's been absolutely crazy. I'm running

00:28:27.690 --> 00:28:29.490
around with the kids. We're on the road all day.

00:28:29.609 --> 00:28:32.750
I didn't, I forgot to pack my snacks or I ran

00:28:32.750 --> 00:28:35.450
out and I'm just super starving. Okay, I'll grab

00:28:35.450 --> 00:28:37.170
my nuggets. I'll have my two or three nuggets

00:28:37.170 --> 00:28:39.750
and I'll call it a day. Yep. Does that mean next

00:28:39.750 --> 00:28:43.549
week I do it again? No. No, that means next week

00:28:43.549 --> 00:28:45.529
I remember to pack my food properly. Next week

00:28:45.529 --> 00:28:49.029
I plan a little better. And maybe six weeks,

00:28:49.069 --> 00:28:52.289
eight weeks later, okay, I'm on a road trip.

00:28:52.589 --> 00:28:54.990
And I'm really hungry. And okay, I'll have two

00:28:54.990 --> 00:28:59.529
or three nuggets. Occasionally. But occasionally

00:28:59.529 --> 00:29:03.170
is not a weekly trip to McDonald's. It's not.

00:29:03.789 --> 00:29:06.569
And it's not a weekly donut or a weekly muffin.

00:29:06.990 --> 00:29:10.150
And again, I will fit those into my day. I will

00:29:10.150 --> 00:29:13.380
track those. And I will. account for them and

00:29:13.380 --> 00:29:17.259
I will have the rest of my day fit around that.

00:29:17.519 --> 00:29:19.960
But I'll try to make better choices. I will.

00:29:20.779 --> 00:29:23.279
Somebody close to me like said a really great

00:29:23.279 --> 00:29:24.779
thing that I was like, yeah, I actually agree

00:29:24.779 --> 00:29:27.779
with that. If I'm craving it, I'll make it instead

00:29:27.779 --> 00:29:30.500
of buy it. So if I really want a Big Mac, if

00:29:30.500 --> 00:29:33.799
I'm really craving a donut, like I'll buy the

00:29:33.799 --> 00:29:35.759
ingredients and I'll make a version myself. And

00:29:35.759 --> 00:29:37.500
if I can't be bothered to do that, then I don't

00:29:37.500 --> 00:29:40.319
fucking need it. And I was like, oh, that's actually

00:29:40.319 --> 00:29:42.980
really smart. Like because there's also going

00:29:42.980 --> 00:29:44.839
to be the convenience aspect where that voice

00:29:44.839 --> 00:29:46.559
is going to convince you that it's totally OK

00:29:46.559 --> 00:29:49.579
to order that. really quickly or the, the, the

00:29:49.579 --> 00:29:51.839
notorious habit. Well, I'm going to get a coffee

00:29:51.839 --> 00:29:53.779
and I don't want to just order a coffee. I'll

00:29:53.779 --> 00:29:55.859
get a donut. Probably order something with it.

00:29:55.900 --> 00:29:57.920
And you know, I haven't had breakfast, so I should

00:29:57.920 --> 00:29:59.799
have something. And there's that voice again.

00:29:59.980 --> 00:30:02.220
It's not always going to be as obvious, but it's

00:30:02.220 --> 00:30:04.160
going to say something like, you know what though,

00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:06.680
Hannah, it's 9am and you're going to be out till

00:30:06.680 --> 00:30:08.759
11 and you didn't have breakfast. And like, you

00:30:08.759 --> 00:30:11.579
know, you need protein and some sugar. So like,

00:30:11.579 --> 00:30:13.619
you should probably get something while you're

00:30:13.619 --> 00:30:15.579
getting a coffee and like that has protein in

00:30:15.579 --> 00:30:19.119
it. And then you're like, or I should have planned

00:30:19.119 --> 00:30:21.900
better, had my breakfast, done my meal prepping

00:30:21.900 --> 00:30:24.240
because it's going to become that slippery slope

00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:26.920
of, well, I let it in. And then we know, and

00:30:26.920 --> 00:30:29.240
I'm not, you guys know me. I'm not one of those

00:30:29.240 --> 00:30:31.500
like tinfoil hat people, but you know, processed

00:30:31.500 --> 00:30:34.200
food and sugar, like it eventually changes the

00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:36.700
way you start thinking and negotiating with yourself.

00:30:37.099 --> 00:30:41.769
And just the feel, the blow. The tiredness, the

00:30:41.769 --> 00:30:43.549
blah, because then it adds up, right? Then you're

00:30:43.549 --> 00:30:45.410
bloated. Then you're tired. Then you don't feel

00:30:45.410 --> 00:30:47.390
like making anything or you don't feel like exercising

00:30:47.390 --> 00:30:49.430
because you're so bloated because you ate the

00:30:49.430 --> 00:30:52.349
Big Mac and you feel like it just spirals. And

00:30:52.349 --> 00:30:54.970
so again, like we're not saying never, but there's

00:30:54.970 --> 00:30:57.210
just seems to be number one, so many people out

00:30:57.210 --> 00:31:01.349
there excusing. Yeah. And like we've talked about

00:31:01.349 --> 00:31:04.809
so many people who go into. Either the bariatric

00:31:04.809 --> 00:31:07.630
journey or the weight loss journey. And I talked

00:31:07.630 --> 00:31:10.009
about this in my therapist today, too, about

00:31:10.009 --> 00:31:12.470
failure. And I was talking to her about, you

00:31:12.470 --> 00:31:14.210
know, if I don't hit this number and how pissed

00:31:14.210 --> 00:31:17.089
off I am at myself. And she said, what what does

00:31:17.089 --> 00:31:19.349
it mean to you, though? Like and I said, well,

00:31:19.390 --> 00:31:21.730
that I failed. And she said, well, what is that?

00:31:21.950 --> 00:31:24.690
What does failure mean to you? And we were talking

00:31:24.690 --> 00:31:28.130
about that and and where my experiences with

00:31:28.130 --> 00:31:31.190
failure in the past have been. Yep. And so I

00:31:31.190 --> 00:31:33.819
was talking about. In weight loss in the past,

00:31:34.200 --> 00:31:38.380
it's been that I try something and then I plateau

00:31:38.380 --> 00:31:41.299
where I don't see results and I gain it back

00:31:41.299 --> 00:31:43.099
and then I fail and then I try something new.

00:31:43.200 --> 00:31:45.579
And it was every step would try every fad there

00:31:45.579 --> 00:31:48.819
was and then fail. And so I said to her, I think

00:31:48.819 --> 00:31:51.400
now looking back and having done this program,

00:31:51.539 --> 00:31:54.500
as we've talked about, we both feel that there's

00:31:54.500 --> 00:31:56.460
pros and cons to the program we did. Absolutely.

00:31:56.640 --> 00:32:00.589
You know, we have our issues with it. But. I

00:32:00.589 --> 00:32:02.369
said to her, now looking back, the thing that

00:32:02.369 --> 00:32:05.809
I can clearly see was missing every other time

00:32:05.809 --> 00:32:07.690
I did something was the mental element of it.

00:32:07.750 --> 00:32:12.190
I always had somebody or something telling me

00:32:12.190 --> 00:32:14.109
the workout I had to do or telling me the food

00:32:14.109 --> 00:32:17.089
I had to eat. But I was never addressing the

00:32:17.089 --> 00:32:20.230
why and the how. And I was never working on the

00:32:20.230 --> 00:32:22.829
mental side and the food relationship side and

00:32:22.829 --> 00:32:26.630
the how did I get here side. And with I feel

00:32:26.630 --> 00:32:29.869
now without that, without. all of those elements

00:32:29.869 --> 00:32:33.289
working together, you cannot see long -term success.

00:32:33.769 --> 00:32:36.170
It's just what I think. And so that's where.

00:32:36.250 --> 00:32:38.950
That's smart though. Like so much of this being

00:32:38.950 --> 00:32:41.609
a mental game. And it's like an education game

00:32:41.609 --> 00:32:45.529
too, because. I like that our program was so

00:32:45.529 --> 00:32:48.049
long because they force you to look at the mental

00:32:48.049 --> 00:32:50.650
side. And I think that's key to anybody who's

00:32:50.650 --> 00:32:55.150
on any sort of weight loss or health is you have

00:32:55.150 --> 00:32:57.390
working out's great. Moving your body's great.

00:32:57.680 --> 00:33:00.460
Eating well is great, but so much of it becomes

00:33:00.460 --> 00:33:05.180
a mental game with yourself and with the world

00:33:05.180 --> 00:33:08.640
around you. Yeah, it's how you navigate the world.

00:33:08.740 --> 00:33:11.000
And I think that was the big problem for me was

00:33:11.000 --> 00:33:13.799
that like, sure, you can have a trainer tell

00:33:13.799 --> 00:33:15.519
you what to do. And sure, you can have a dietician

00:33:15.519 --> 00:33:17.000
kind of tell you what to eat. But that's like

00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:20.140
one hour during your week that somebody says

00:33:20.140 --> 00:33:23.880
something to you, right? you then have to go

00:33:23.880 --> 00:33:25.740
make all these choices on your own. And I think

00:33:25.740 --> 00:33:27.319
for me, the thing that was always missing was

00:33:27.319 --> 00:33:29.640
the education piece. Like I didn't know how to

00:33:29.640 --> 00:33:32.599
truly meal prep or what calories and macros to

00:33:32.599 --> 00:33:34.759
do or what vitamins to take or how to be successful.

00:33:34.799 --> 00:33:38.759
Like there was no training. Yeah, there was no

00:33:38.759 --> 00:33:41.359
training on like sugar levels and other levels

00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:43.220
and things like that. Like it just, it didn't

00:33:43.220 --> 00:33:45.960
exist. And I didn't have like resources to pull

00:33:45.960 --> 00:33:47.599
on. And then obviously you didn't see success

00:33:47.599 --> 00:33:50.839
on top of that. But like, I think. There was

00:33:50.839 --> 00:33:53.619
just a lot missing. So I think that's part of

00:33:53.619 --> 00:33:55.299
what we mean when we say like the mental game.

00:33:55.599 --> 00:33:57.799
It's that, you know, educating yourself against

00:33:57.799 --> 00:34:00.319
what's going on in the world and in your environment.

00:34:00.380 --> 00:34:02.099
And how do you eat out? And how do you do this?

00:34:02.099 --> 00:34:04.220
And how do you do that? Relationship with food.

00:34:04.339 --> 00:34:06.940
And like for me, it's like acknowledging that

00:34:06.940 --> 00:34:09.179
I was a boredom eater and acknowledging about

00:34:09.179 --> 00:34:13.139
how so much of my life in terms of reward came

00:34:13.139 --> 00:34:16.769
in. in the form of food and how much of my social

00:34:16.769 --> 00:34:18.670
life revolved around people are coming over,

00:34:18.730 --> 00:34:21.170
I have to put food out, right? And so I never,

00:34:21.210 --> 00:34:23.570
yeah, I never took the time to think about that

00:34:23.570 --> 00:34:25.570
and to look at that. And that's such a huge part

00:34:25.570 --> 00:34:28.190
of my life outside of, like I said, that hour

00:34:28.190 --> 00:34:30.869
workout or that little bit of meal prepping.

00:34:31.090 --> 00:34:33.349
And it's such a big piece of the puzzle. And

00:34:33.349 --> 00:34:35.429
until you can put all those pieces together and

00:34:35.429 --> 00:34:40.269
kind of go, oh, okay, that's why I do this. And

00:34:40.269 --> 00:34:43.719
that's where this comes from. you can't fully

00:34:43.719 --> 00:34:46.900
navigate the whole journey. I think you can,

00:34:46.920 --> 00:34:49.460
you'll get, you'll get to a certain point, but

00:34:49.460 --> 00:34:51.780
then it's all been to that point. We've all been

00:34:51.780 --> 00:34:53.920
able to lose a bit of work. Come back in. You

00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:56.519
don't have any tools to push them away and to

00:34:56.519 --> 00:34:58.559
fight them back and to say, no, I know what this

00:34:58.559 --> 00:35:01.619
is. I know why this is happening. And this is

00:35:01.619 --> 00:35:05.349
what I can do to fix it or to fight back. Yeah.

00:35:05.389 --> 00:35:07.949
And that's exactly it. Right. Like it was being

00:35:07.949 --> 00:35:10.010
able to identify that like you eat out of nesting,

00:35:10.010 --> 00:35:11.909
out of boredom, out of this, out of bored, out

00:35:11.909 --> 00:35:14.010
of that, like because food was easy. But I think

00:35:14.010 --> 00:35:16.690
also it was like learning that our culture is

00:35:16.690 --> 00:35:19.030
super centered around food. And like this program

00:35:19.030 --> 00:35:22.329
kind of teaches you how to have a voice to be

00:35:22.329 --> 00:35:24.590
like, oh, no, I'm OK. Like, I don't need to eat

00:35:24.590 --> 00:35:26.650
that. Like, there's so much that you don't realize

00:35:26.650 --> 00:35:29.230
is going on. being the fat friend, which we've

00:35:29.230 --> 00:35:30.989
talked about on an episode and how people kind

00:35:30.989 --> 00:35:34.010
of subliminally keep you there because they feel

00:35:34.010 --> 00:35:35.869
better about themselves. So they encourage you

00:35:35.869 --> 00:35:38.429
to eat and they encourage you to snack and people

00:35:38.429 --> 00:35:40.469
gifting you food. Like if there's one thing I

00:35:40.469 --> 00:35:42.250
could definitely take away from this is that.

00:35:42.650 --> 00:35:44.989
the people around me have changed how they interact

00:35:44.989 --> 00:35:47.309
with me when it comes to food. And I love that

00:35:47.309 --> 00:35:50.369
though. I'm no longer gifted food. I'm no longer

00:35:50.369 --> 00:35:53.349
gifted snacks. Like my parents try really hard

00:35:53.349 --> 00:35:55.289
to make super healthy desserts. And they always

00:35:55.289 --> 00:35:57.650
ask me, what should we make when you come down?

00:35:57.690 --> 00:36:00.269
And I can portion my own plate now. Like, it's

00:36:00.269 --> 00:36:03.130
just, there's a lot that I didn't know that goes

00:36:03.130 --> 00:36:05.269
into this, right? Like eating when you wake up

00:36:05.269 --> 00:36:08.420
and having snacks. And so. that's a lot of to

00:36:08.420 --> 00:36:10.340
what we mean by the mental side of this. Like,

00:36:10.360 --> 00:36:11.800
yes, you'll have to work on your relationship

00:36:11.800 --> 00:36:15.219
with it, but you'll also have to learn structure

00:36:15.219 --> 00:36:18.400
routine, how to keep a schedule, how to meal

00:36:18.400 --> 00:36:20.639
prep, how to calorie count, how to be comfortable

00:36:20.639 --> 00:36:22.619
standing on the scale and being okay with that.

00:36:22.679 --> 00:36:25.159
And then how to advocate, how to start saying

00:36:25.159 --> 00:36:27.340
like, no, I don't need that. That's okay. Thank

00:36:27.340 --> 00:36:30.619
you. That was telling people I don't drink was

00:36:30.619 --> 00:36:33.000
so hard at the beginning because they wouldn't

00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:34.840
get it. Oh, well, I just have a drink though.

00:36:34.900 --> 00:36:37.539
No, I don't drink. And that. There's another

00:36:37.539 --> 00:36:39.940
aspect of it. If you choose to, that's okay.

00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:42.079
We definitely are fine with bariatric patients

00:36:42.079 --> 00:36:45.500
drinking, but that is another hurdle that a lot

00:36:45.500 --> 00:36:47.280
of people have to get over, especially heavy

00:36:47.280 --> 00:36:48.820
drinking. Knowing what works for you and what

00:36:48.820 --> 00:36:50.920
doesn't. Yep. There's things that you have to

00:36:50.920 --> 00:36:52.800
give up before surgery. There's things that you'll

00:36:52.800 --> 00:36:56.039
have to get used to after surgery. And then it's

00:36:56.039 --> 00:36:58.340
a lifelong thing. There's a great, great influencer

00:36:58.340 --> 00:37:00.980
we follow who's having issues with her iron.

00:37:01.039 --> 00:37:03.280
Now that's not related to just bariatric surgery.

00:37:03.519 --> 00:37:06.530
Lots of women have iron problems. However, She

00:37:06.530 --> 00:37:08.409
took her vitamins regularly and did what she

00:37:08.409 --> 00:37:10.210
was supposed to do. And now is having a little

00:37:10.210 --> 00:37:12.590
bit of a needs a transfusion to help with her

00:37:12.590 --> 00:37:15.550
iron. Like this is not a I had surgery and now

00:37:15.550 --> 00:37:17.789
I'm done and I'm like this forever journey. There's

00:37:17.789 --> 00:37:19.530
going to be regain. There's going to be loss.

00:37:19.750 --> 00:37:21.269
There's going to be issues with vitamins. There's

00:37:21.269 --> 00:37:22.690
going to be need to be tweaking down the road.

00:37:22.710 --> 00:37:25.190
But if you can't stay on top of your vitamins

00:37:25.190 --> 00:37:27.550
and you're prepping and you're eating like you

00:37:27.550 --> 00:37:29.949
will regain, you better be prepared for it. And

00:37:29.949 --> 00:37:33.219
once it starts. It is such a slippery slope because

00:37:33.219 --> 00:37:35.500
it's not just the weight that comes back. It's

00:37:35.500 --> 00:37:37.460
the habits. It's that shitty voice in your head.

00:37:37.539 --> 00:37:40.039
It's that obese version of you that really wants

00:37:40.039 --> 00:37:43.880
to come back and be obese again. And it's a lot

00:37:43.880 --> 00:37:46.340
because you're not in the program anymore. So

00:37:46.340 --> 00:37:49.860
you kind of have to rely on yourself and get

00:37:49.860 --> 00:37:52.800
yourself to kind of kick its own ass into gear.

00:37:53.360 --> 00:37:56.760
Totally. Totally. It's interesting. But you'll

00:37:56.760 --> 00:37:58.500
all survive Christmas. You're going to get through

00:37:58.500 --> 00:38:00.719
it. It's not as daunting as it sounds. It's not

00:38:00.719 --> 00:38:02.699
as scary. We've all been there. We've all made

00:38:02.699 --> 00:38:05.099
it through. It's just a time that maybe some

00:38:05.099 --> 00:38:07.340
people need to be a little more reflective than

00:38:07.340 --> 00:38:10.059
others on what's around them, what's on their

00:38:10.059 --> 00:38:13.340
plate, what's going on. But you can absolutely

00:38:13.340 --> 00:38:17.199
indulge and still enjoy your holidays. Just find

00:38:17.199 --> 00:38:20.360
your new level of indulgence. That's all. Yeah,

00:38:20.420 --> 00:38:23.929
you got it. It's good. Well, we have three more

00:38:23.929 --> 00:38:26.230
episodes to wrap up the end of the year. So we're

00:38:26.230 --> 00:38:28.250
going to put it out to you. What do you want

00:38:28.250 --> 00:38:30.909
to see us talk about and cover in the last three

00:38:30.909 --> 00:38:34.869
episodes of 2025? Can't believe I'm saying that.

00:38:35.230 --> 00:38:38.929
Right? Can't believe I'm saying that. I want

00:38:38.929 --> 00:38:41.409
to know what you want to hear, what you want

00:38:41.409 --> 00:38:44.429
us to cover. And I think maybe our very last

00:38:44.429 --> 00:38:47.230
episode of the year, we'd love to do. you know,

00:38:47.230 --> 00:38:49.510
comments and letters from the fans. So send us

00:38:49.510 --> 00:38:51.550
in anything you would like on Instagram that

00:38:51.550 --> 00:38:54.469
you'd like us to answer on air or cover. We would

00:38:54.469 --> 00:38:57.190
absolutely love to do that. We're trying to organize

00:38:57.190 --> 00:39:01.130
one episode to bring a family member on because

00:39:01.130 --> 00:39:03.650
we had a great question about, can you talk about

00:39:03.650 --> 00:39:06.630
how family can prepare for surgery? Really good

00:39:06.630 --> 00:39:09.369
question. We didn't even think about it. So we're

00:39:09.369 --> 00:39:12.730
trying to make that happen. We'll look to bring

00:39:12.730 --> 00:39:17.369
somebody on that was our caregiver and hear their

00:39:17.369 --> 00:39:20.349
side of things. But yeah, like always, Steph,

00:39:20.469 --> 00:39:22.530
just thank you for joining me on today's episode.

00:39:22.750 --> 00:39:25.550
And everybody, I can't believe we're at the end

00:39:25.550 --> 00:39:28.489
of a year with three episodes left. It's all

00:39:28.489 --> 00:39:30.550
because you listen and you interact with us and

00:39:30.550 --> 00:39:33.190
we wouldn't be here without you guys. Love it.

00:39:33.210 --> 00:39:35.630
Thanks, everybody. Bye, everybody. Bye.