Episode 30: The Dreaded Bathing Suit Dilemma: Finding Confidence After Weight Loss Surgery

WEBVTT

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Hey, Steph. Hello. Welcome back to another episode

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of Bariatric Banter Podcast. Crushing these episodes,

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man. Welcome to episode 30. What a big 30. This

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podcast is almost as old as I am. This is exciting.

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I wish I was back to 30. Oh, God. I wish I was

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back to 32. Right? Wouldn't that be nice? 40

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is just staring me down that window pretty hard

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like, hey. Hey, you're almost here. Oh, she here.

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She here. God, that's crazy. But 30 episodes.

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Wow. We are officially halfway through the summer.

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I mean, I consider it halfway through the summer

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because I don't feel like summer ends in September.

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Fair. It's flying by, though. Oh, my God. Flying

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by. Everybody keeps saying this, that like, what

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is happening this year? No, it's true. This year,

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especially I've been talking to some other like

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parents and. I said, usually summer go, it goes

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by. Okay. Yeah. But this year it's literally

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flying and we're nothing. I'm not doing anything

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different. It's the same old, same old as every

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other summer when I've been doing exciting, but

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it's flying. Yeah. It's like, I'm blinking. So

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my theory is because the weather has been so

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horrible, like as in hot. we're not really outside

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as much. And you know, you don't have those long

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summer nights where you're just like out on a

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patio or wandering around or because you're in

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the air conditioning. And so I think it just

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feels like that's why it's flying by because

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you're just trying to survive the heat. Could

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be whatever it is. It's. Oh, it's brutal. The

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fact that it's August and I haven't been camping

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and I haven't. Right. I haven't had like, we

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haven't had our days at the cottage. Like we've

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hung out at the cottage for weekends and stuff

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like. We haven't even had holidays yet. And the

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summer's flying. I just said to Devin, this is,

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school's going to be here before we know it.

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Yeah, it's going to be boom. Here we go. So I

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know, crazy. So I agree with you. Definitely

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don't disagree that it is flying by. So this

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is a great time to talk about this topic because

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now I need to go like, if the weather breaks

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even slightly, I can finally get outside and

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start enjoying it. It better. And the one thing

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I want to do. I want to go camping and I have

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been craving swimming. I think it's the heat,

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but I was like, I'm going to need to go find

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a beach and just crawl my body into that water

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and sit there for an hour with this dog. Yeah.

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And that's what kind of brought up today's topic

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is let's talk about swimming, beach bodies, buying

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bathing suits, dreaded bathing suit. It is the

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swimming bathing suit edition of how to. How

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do we get over this? I need a new one. I had,

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so I had my like pre -surgery bathing suit. Yes.

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And I was wearing it for a while. And then you

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get to the point where like you can't tighten

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the straps anymore. It's like a really nice,

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actually, I got it on Amazon. Really nice one

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piece with like this crisscross in the front.

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Anyway, love the bathing suit. So I got to the

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point where like I couldn't, the straps were

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as tight as she could go. And she was not staying

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on very well. And like the gap in the back was

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just like. three inches again oh no so I was

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like and I was doing aqua fit and I was like

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I can't be in the pool with these old ladies

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and like have a nip slip like this that would

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not be appropriate yeah so I went down I ordered

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the same bathing suit went down like a size or

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two but now again I'm at the same point where

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straps are tight the gap is back so I'm like

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oh shit I need to I need to wear a bathing suit

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but I really like I don't want to do it I have

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a piece that I had from When I had my last like

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good weight loss success. Okay. But it's now

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too big and I'm not really a two -piece girl.

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Well, I'll send you some links. I need, I need.

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Because I had to buy a new one for a bridal shower

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that happened. Yeah. That was at a spa. And I

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was like, oh my God, I don't have a bathing suit

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to wear to this. This is insane. And then. I

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hilariously, way before surgery, so this wasn't

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recent, I had a bathing suit that was too big.

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And I didn't think anything of it until I'm swimming

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laps in this pool and like a full boob just popped

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out. That's cool. That's cool. I was like, I

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can't be an aqua fit because it's me and then

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a bunch of ladies who are like significantly

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older than me. I was like, I can't be like in

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a circle. doing something. And then just like,

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like at least you were in a fit class, which

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was probably majority female. This was just lap

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swimming where I was like, I think my tits out.

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And I was like, Oh, it is. That's cool. I kept,

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I kept like every like couple seconds I would

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look down and be like, am I good? Am I good?

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It was not good. It was definitely like new destination

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breaststroke right there. Oh, but I can't like.

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my arms have always been an issue. I'm getting

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better with them. Like I'm wearing t -shirts

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now, which is new. And I'm almost at the point,

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I still won't, not tank top, that's pushing it,

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but like t -shirts. And like, I say girl t -shirts

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because I used to wear guy t -shirts because

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the sleeves were longer and they would like go

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to my elbow. Now I'm wearing like girl normal

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t -shirts where the sleeves are shorter. So you

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can see my arm flab. Yeah. I had to get over

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the arm flap. But I'm to the point where I'm

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like, you know what? I don't like it. I'm not

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comfortable, but it is what it is. It's not going

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to happen. At the end of the day, when it comes

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to bathing suits. But see, the thing for me for

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the bathing suits is the legs. I have a lot of

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loose skin happening on my thighs. And this is

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so on my mainly like inner thighs. And I forget

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how I was talking to the other day, but I now

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call them. This is so not appropriate. I now

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call them my ball sack. legs because I have like

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that extra skin wrinkly -ness at like the top

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-ish of my inner I'm doing a horrible job explaining

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this but like the top of my inner thighs is getting

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like loose skin wrinkly and like all I think

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of is balls and testicles. I understand that.

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Yeah. It's that loose, scraggly skin look, which

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isn't attractive. Right. So like now that I have

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to go buy a bathing suit, it's just like, oh.

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So that's the thing. When it comes to a bathing

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suit, you kind of have to fight between arm issues

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or leg issues because unless you're going to

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wear like a burka or whatever they call it, like

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it's not going to happen that you can cover both.

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So for me, the bigger thing was the legs. I really

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kind of wanted. a one piece I was looking for

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two pieces but like there just wasn't any that

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I actually thought were cute at the time so I

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was like well I'll get like a really stylish

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one piece but I wanted like one of those one

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pieces that had like not like the skirt to your

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knees because I'm not 80 and like a little bit

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of a wrap something that was like cute and accentuating

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but I knew when I'm giving up the arms because

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I was like there's no way you're going to the

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bachelor this bridal shower Hannah in a rash

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guard full length sleeve top right like you're

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not in blue crush the surf movie you don't need

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to be wearing that I started looking at those

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too and I was like I can just take it like yeah

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but no and they're not like also they're not

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comfortable they're sweaty they stick to your

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skin it's not a good look and at the end of the

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day And I'll send you the link because I bought

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a few off Amazon and that was easier for me because

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I needed to be in my house to try these on. Right.

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Because I wasn't finding what I wanted at stores

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either. I was like, these are skimpy little bikinis

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or like the ugliest athletic one piece like that,

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you know, like high neck speedo one piece with

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the open back. And I was like, first of all,

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no, no open back. No, thank you. So I got them

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off Amazon and they're cute. Like there's kind

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of a low cut to the one and it's green. And I

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was really like, great, I'm going to put this

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on. And these arms are just going to be batwing

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in the shit. You put it on and you're like, oh,

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this is so bad. You like you don't notice like

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your arms are definitely not the first thing

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that sticks out when you're wearing this and

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you don't notice. And I was like, oh, it's also

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far easier in a bathing suit to get a little.

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like see -through shawl little thing you need

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to cover up yes then your legs so for me the

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bigger thing was like this cute little skirt

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um even then like the leg thing but to me that

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was the bigger issue than the arms but I agree

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the legs are right now yeah and I didn't want

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to try them on in stores because I genuinely

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like I went to so many stores and were like why

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do these all suck so much the two that I have

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don't don't order online I don't Like even if

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I wasn't like dealing with loose skin, I'd still

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order online because I didn't find anything I

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saw in store. No, and the bathing suit I have

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now is from Amazon and I love it. I love my bathing

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suit from Amazon. I love it. Same thing. So I

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was like, maybe I'll just buy that one again.

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I will post it on Instagram for people to see

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too. obsessed is the word and I took photos so

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I took photos in it at the well because like

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I felt excited at the in the mirror at the bridal

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spa thing and I sent it to my mom and she was

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like that's a really cute dress like where'd

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you get that and I was like oh my gosh I love

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it it's a fucking bathing suit mom like fuck

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she was like what a unique bathing suit I was

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like a dress but she thought it was like super

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cute and I was like cute I mean, it is cute.

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I love it. I love that she thought it was a dress.

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Bathing suit? Old Navy, I will say, has recently

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come out with this like vintage, like vintage.

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Oh, my God. It's a 90s line. I can't believe

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I just said vintage. It's a 90s line that they've

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come out with. So like their original blue and

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red and ba -ba -ba. Bathing suits is part of

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that. I would tell everybody to go check it out

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because it's very similar in the shape and the

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cut. of the one I just bought where like you

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kind of get the nice coverage on top a little

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lower cut snatches your waist but then it's got

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the built -in little skirt but it's like a half

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skirt so it's not that like full weird you're

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wearing a dress right um and I bought it in blue

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and it's it's really cute and very flattering

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because it's got like a really tight kind of

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suction. And that blue is like, I think a very

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flattering blue for a lot of people. But I believe

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it's called their side tie or something. I want

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to say side by dress. It looks like you're wearing

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a one piece with a little sarong tied on the

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side. And I was like, okay, I can get behind

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this. And it's really flattering. It looks really

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cute on people. It's not long. This is not like

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a knee length sarong. Testicle legs, as I call

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them now. Yeah, there you go. But it's not fun

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to do this in store because you're still... Well,

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that's what I was kind of like, oh. Don't do

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it in store. No, I didn't want to sit there and

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just try on all these bathing suits. No, remember

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what it was like when we were fat trying on clothes

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and how defeated we get? That doesn't go away

00:11:12.779 --> 00:11:15.259
now that we're thin because now we beat ourselves

00:11:15.259 --> 00:11:19.860
up about flabby arms, loose skin. This doesn't

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sit where it used to sit. Yeah. And then there's

00:11:22.519 --> 00:11:25.200
that little voice that's like... you should you're

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covering up too much like why don't you just

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wear normal suits like other people like this

00:11:29.919 --> 00:11:33.679
is weird for you to be buying this like wear

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a two -piece now that you can yeah put it on

00:11:36.899 --> 00:11:38.980
who cares and it's like I still don't have the

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confidence to wear a two -piece I don't know

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if I'll ever have the fucking I've worn my two

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-piece like in the hot tub here but I haven't

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worn it in public like our neighbor has a pool

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and we all go swim there I haven't worn it there

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no no no no No, like I genuinely don't think

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I could go to the beach and wear it. And I know

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there's people that do. And I know there's people

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that haven't had surgery that are totally like.

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You know what the weird thing is? I'll post a

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picture on Instagram. I've posted after my workouts

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in my like tight bicycle shorts and workout bra.

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I posted that, which really isn't that much different

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than being in a two piece. But here's the difference.

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It's associated with you working out because

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it's an outfit that you just worked out in. So

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there's this notion of like, wow, she's working.

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Oh my God, she's in a bikini. What does she think

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she's doing? Ding, ding, ding. And nobody's saying

00:12:33.580 --> 00:12:35.279
that, but that's where our brain goes. It's like,

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someone's going to look at me in this and be

00:12:36.659 --> 00:12:38.940
like, how dare she wear that bikini because her

00:12:38.940 --> 00:12:41.419
body does not look good enough. Versus if you're

00:12:41.419 --> 00:12:43.639
working out, you think that the voices are going,

00:12:43.799 --> 00:12:46.840
wow, she's working really hard. Good for her.

00:12:47.450 --> 00:12:50.350
Yeah. There's the difference on why I can wear

00:12:50.350 --> 00:12:53.789
it. I run in tank tops. Like I've debated running

00:12:53.789 --> 00:12:55.370
in a sports bra because of the weather around

00:12:55.370 --> 00:12:58.669
here. And like, I'm fine with what I wear when

00:12:58.669 --> 00:13:01.690
I'm out for a run and then have no confidence

00:13:01.690 --> 00:13:04.610
to wear a single fucking thing to the beach because

00:13:04.610 --> 00:13:06.509
it's that voice. I'm convinced they're going

00:13:06.509 --> 00:13:09.610
to say, who do you think you are? How dare she

00:13:09.610 --> 00:13:12.110
thinks she can run? And I've said it to Steph

00:13:12.110 --> 00:13:15.240
and I've said it to my therapist. I feel like

00:13:15.240 --> 00:13:16.740
I haven't lost enough weight and that people

00:13:16.740 --> 00:13:19.820
look at me now and go, why is she so confident?

00:13:19.860 --> 00:13:23.159
She's still fat. Right. Yep. Right. So that's

00:13:23.159 --> 00:13:25.500
how I feel when I put bathing suits on, um, is

00:13:25.500 --> 00:13:27.860
that people are going to go, Hannah, you didn't

00:13:27.860 --> 00:13:29.340
lose enough weight to be wearing that bathing

00:13:29.340 --> 00:13:33.159
suit. Try it. Take it off. Try again. Maybe next

00:13:33.159 --> 00:13:36.240
time. Great. And part of it too, I think is,

00:13:36.240 --> 00:13:39.960
is the, the body dysmorphia, which is a whole

00:13:39.960 --> 00:13:41.379
nother conversation that I'm not going to go

00:13:41.379 --> 00:13:43.759
down the rabbit hole, but. When you're picking

00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:45.820
out these bathing suits or deciding what bathing

00:13:45.820 --> 00:13:50.720
suits to look at, I still initially, no matter

00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:53.259
what I'm putting on or if I'm just thinking about

00:13:53.259 --> 00:13:58.580
myself, I still in my head see myself as my bigger

00:13:58.580 --> 00:14:02.899
self. When I picture myself going somewhere or

00:14:02.899 --> 00:14:04.840
trying something on or sitting somewhere or doing

00:14:04.840 --> 00:14:10.700
something, my head version of me is still my

00:14:10.700 --> 00:14:14.259
obese version. I still haven't made that switch

00:14:14.259 --> 00:14:17.799
in my head. I see it in the mirror and I see

00:14:17.799 --> 00:14:21.340
it in a photo, but my first thought of myself

00:14:21.340 --> 00:14:25.200
still is always the obesity. Still. And that

00:14:25.200 --> 00:14:26.759
plays a part in it too, right? Because then you

00:14:26.759 --> 00:14:28.500
think, well, why are you even thinking about

00:14:28.500 --> 00:14:31.639
wearing a bikini? You're still 300 pounds. No,

00:14:31.779 --> 00:14:34.799
no, you're not. No, you're not. Yep. I still

00:14:34.799 --> 00:14:38.029
struggle with this and I... I don't see it in

00:14:38.029 --> 00:14:40.409
the mirror. Like I struggle, struggle immensely

00:14:40.409 --> 00:14:43.710
with it lately. There are definitely days, days

00:14:43.710 --> 00:14:45.769
where you definitely feel better than other days

00:14:45.769 --> 00:14:49.389
and days where, yeah, there's a big struggle.

00:14:49.409 --> 00:14:52.389
But I think that's the difference is you're not

00:14:52.389 --> 00:14:55.149
in an, like when you're in exercise mode, you

00:14:55.149 --> 00:14:56.830
don't care. Somebody could come up to you and

00:14:56.830 --> 00:14:59.559
be like, fat ass. And you'd be like, bitch. I

00:14:59.559 --> 00:15:01.799
just ran five kilometers, get out of my face.

00:15:01.860 --> 00:15:03.779
Like there's like this confidence that comes

00:15:03.779 --> 00:15:08.799
with exercising that you don't care at all. That

00:15:08.799 --> 00:15:11.759
is all stripped away. And the vulnerable you

00:15:11.759 --> 00:15:14.700
is the one in the bathing suit. And all those

00:15:14.700 --> 00:15:19.100
kind of feelings and how you were treated as

00:15:19.100 --> 00:15:21.279
a kid and like everything starts surfacing up

00:15:21.279 --> 00:15:23.399
again, right? Like it's all bubbling back up

00:15:23.399 --> 00:15:26.700
and you feel very judged. And because I was fat

00:15:26.700 --> 00:15:28.759
as a kid. So I know what it was like to swim

00:15:28.759 --> 00:15:31.399
with a t -shirt on and to not be able to swim

00:15:31.399 --> 00:15:34.759
with the other kids wore. I lived in a t -shirt

00:15:34.759 --> 00:15:36.700
while swimming. I would swim in shorts and a

00:15:36.700 --> 00:15:38.539
t -shirt. And I remember being at summer camp

00:15:38.539 --> 00:15:41.039
and I remember somebody being like, why the fuck

00:15:41.039 --> 00:15:43.580
are you swimming in shorts? Like I was 16 and

00:15:43.580 --> 00:15:46.519
one of the other little LITs called it out. And

00:15:46.519 --> 00:15:50.450
I. I didn't even know how to answer. I felt so

00:15:50.450 --> 00:15:54.049
embarrassed. And they didn't comment on my weight

00:15:54.049 --> 00:15:55.610
at all. They literally were just like, why are

00:15:55.610 --> 00:15:57.809
you wearing shorts? Take your shorts off. But

00:15:57.809 --> 00:16:01.309
I couldn't be in a pool with my legs bare and

00:16:01.309 --> 00:16:05.769
my arms bare because I was fat. But wearing the

00:16:05.769 --> 00:16:09.279
shorts and the t -shirt. That made me look dumb

00:16:09.279 --> 00:16:11.779
as hell. It didn't. This is what Devin would

00:16:11.779 --> 00:16:13.700
always tell me. And I used to get so mad at him.

00:16:13.720 --> 00:16:15.480
But now looking back, I'm like, oh, my God, don't

00:16:15.480 --> 00:16:17.080
tell him. If he doesn't listen to this podcast,

00:16:17.179 --> 00:16:18.919
thank God, because I'm going to say that he's

00:16:18.919 --> 00:16:22.059
right. And I don't want him to hear that. But

00:16:22.059 --> 00:16:27.039
it doesn't hide your fat. Like, I would wear

00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:30.399
baggy. Like, people are shocked now. Like, if

00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:31.940
you could see, like, I'm wearing a purple sweater

00:16:31.940 --> 00:16:33.960
right now. People are shocked now when they see

00:16:33.960 --> 00:16:36.220
me in color because I lived in gray and black.

00:16:36.929 --> 00:16:39.370
And everything was baggy. Everything was like

00:16:39.370 --> 00:16:41.710
men's cut, boxy, baggy, all that kind of stuff.

00:16:42.049 --> 00:16:43.889
And I would put something on and Devin would

00:16:43.889 --> 00:16:45.710
just shake his head. And I'm like, what's your

00:16:45.710 --> 00:16:47.950
problem? He'd be like, just because you wear

00:16:47.950 --> 00:16:50.350
baggy clothes doesn't hide the fact that you're

00:16:50.350 --> 00:16:54.190
fat. Like, it doesn't hide it, Steph. But in

00:16:54.190 --> 00:16:56.450
my head it did. And I used to, same thing, swim

00:16:56.450 --> 00:16:58.090
with a t -shirt because in my head, well, then

00:16:58.090 --> 00:17:01.870
they wouldn't see. the fact well no the shirt

00:17:01.870 --> 00:17:03.769
gets wet and it sticks like it sticks to you

00:17:03.769 --> 00:17:06.009
it doesn't hide the fact that you felt like it

00:17:06.009 --> 00:17:10.069
doesn't at all but in your mind yep but also

00:17:10.069 --> 00:17:13.470
you don't realize that you are literally drawing

00:17:13.470 --> 00:17:16.869
so much attention to yourself by being out there

00:17:16.869 --> 00:17:19.910
like that you're now the odd one out that everyone

00:17:19.910 --> 00:17:21.609
is going to look at because everyone's in a bathing

00:17:21.609 --> 00:17:24.190
suit nobody gives a shit and there you are in

00:17:24.190 --> 00:17:25.789
a t -shirt well of course they're gonna love

00:17:25.789 --> 00:17:27.529
it and then of course they're gonna be like oh

00:17:28.160 --> 00:17:30.960
And they're going to overanalyze you versus just

00:17:30.960 --> 00:17:34.579
fitting in with the crowd. Yeah. Fitting in and

00:17:34.579 --> 00:17:37.980
do it. So I get it. There's a lot. It's not as

00:17:37.980 --> 00:17:39.940
easy as it sounds to just go out and buy a bathing

00:17:39.940 --> 00:17:44.019
suit. There is a lot of hangups about getting

00:17:44.019 --> 00:17:46.960
a bathing suit. And people who don't get it just

00:17:46.960 --> 00:17:50.319
don't get it. And that's fine. But it is a bit

00:17:50.319 --> 00:17:52.539
challenging. And as much as I want to be like,

00:17:52.619 --> 00:17:54.960
get out and get into that store and you own it.

00:17:55.019 --> 00:17:58.720
My advice is. Order some bathing suits off Amazon

00:17:58.720 --> 00:18:03.099
first because you start to feel really good about

00:18:03.099 --> 00:18:05.559
yourself when you find the good bathing suits.

00:18:05.680 --> 00:18:09.200
Because I genuinely and I posted it to Instagram.

00:18:09.220 --> 00:18:11.319
This was months ago for those who were following.

00:18:11.380 --> 00:18:13.740
I posted myself in that bathing suit and was

00:18:13.740 --> 00:18:18.039
like, actually, it's kind of cute. Oh, look good.

00:18:18.220 --> 00:18:21.160
You know, because of your own home, which I think

00:18:21.160 --> 00:18:23.119
is a big thing, too. Yes. Right. That makes a

00:18:23.119 --> 00:18:24.500
big difference because then you're already at

00:18:24.500 --> 00:18:27.799
ease. You're already comfortable. You don't have

00:18:27.799 --> 00:18:30.500
the stress of being in a store, being with the

00:18:30.500 --> 00:18:33.039
people waiting on like it's just another thing

00:18:33.039 --> 00:18:36.140
to add on to the situation. Exactly. And I think

00:18:36.140 --> 00:18:38.759
that's a nice thing. But there's lots of great

00:18:38.759 --> 00:18:40.980
cuts out there. And I'd say you will need to

00:18:40.980 --> 00:18:44.079
pick your battles. You're able to fight the legs

00:18:44.079 --> 00:18:47.849
or the arms, both because. You don't need to

00:18:47.849 --> 00:18:50.490
be covering everything up. It's exactly what

00:18:50.490 --> 00:18:53.710
we just said. If you do that, you actually draw

00:18:53.710 --> 00:18:56.849
way more attention to yourself. So keep that

00:18:56.849 --> 00:18:58.690
in the back of your head that you think this

00:18:58.690 --> 00:19:00.490
is exactly what you want to do and you want to

00:19:00.490 --> 00:19:03.910
cover up like that. You're drawing so much more

00:19:03.910 --> 00:19:06.950
attention to yourself that way. So take one or

00:19:06.950 --> 00:19:09.009
the other because we all have our insecurities.

00:19:09.640 --> 00:19:11.519
Yeah. There's no way you're going to be able

00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:14.619
to cover up your arms and your legs and not be

00:19:14.619 --> 00:19:17.059
out in shorts and a T -shirt. No. And I mean,

00:19:17.079 --> 00:19:18.700
here's the deal. And it's easy for me to say

00:19:18.700 --> 00:19:23.960
because. I lived so long of not wearing shorts.

00:19:24.599 --> 00:19:27.519
This is the first time like I am now 40 and I

00:19:27.519 --> 00:19:30.440
am and I own my first pair of shorts. This is

00:19:30.440 --> 00:19:32.960
the first summer since I was a child. that I

00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:35.900
have worn shorts. So it's easy for me to come

00:19:35.900 --> 00:19:37.440
on here and just say, just wear the shorts, just

00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:39.700
wear the shorts. But when I look back now and

00:19:39.700 --> 00:19:42.839
think of like how many years I suffered through

00:19:42.839 --> 00:19:47.380
the heat and made myself so incredibly uncomfortable

00:19:47.380 --> 00:19:50.680
because I wouldn't wear the shorts. And I'm not

00:19:50.680 --> 00:19:52.779
even kidding, guys. Like it would be like it

00:19:52.779 --> 00:19:55.059
is now or even like 38 degrees outside and I

00:19:55.059 --> 00:19:59.299
would wear jeans. Now I would compromise and

00:19:59.299 --> 00:20:02.950
I would wear like capri jeans. But I would wear

00:20:02.950 --> 00:20:05.269
jeans and I would wear three quarter length shirts

00:20:05.269 --> 00:20:08.109
or a tank top with a cardigan. And that's how

00:20:08.109 --> 00:20:11.269
I would dress all summer. And in my mind, I was

00:20:11.269 --> 00:20:13.349
like, again, I'm covering the flab. I'm covering

00:20:13.349 --> 00:20:16.309
the fat. You know how ridiculous I looked when

00:20:16.309 --> 00:20:18.150
everyone else was wearing shorts and I'm wearing

00:20:18.150 --> 00:20:21.349
jeans and it's 40 degrees outside? Like, Stephanie

00:20:21.349 --> 00:20:24.269
looked like a dumbass. Like looking back on photos

00:20:24.269 --> 00:20:29.119
when I thought I was. making myself more hidden

00:20:29.119 --> 00:20:32.400
and I was hiding the imperfections no you looked

00:20:32.400 --> 00:20:35.579
ridiculous because then you're in photos dying

00:20:35.579 --> 00:20:38.640
in jeans and a cardigan and everyone is wearing

00:20:38.640 --> 00:20:42.480
shorts and a tank top so people are going to

00:20:42.480 --> 00:20:47.279
and I like it took me 30 years to have this like

00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:52.259
oh kind of moment where you're actually making

00:20:52.259 --> 00:20:54.640
yourself stand out more. You're drawing more

00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:56.859
attention to you. And if you would just put the

00:20:56.859 --> 00:20:59.799
damn shorts on with a little bit of flab and

00:20:59.799 --> 00:21:04.160
just be comfortable and enjoy the activities

00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:07.920
you're doing and enjoy being out with whoever

00:21:07.920 --> 00:21:09.500
you're out with instead of sitting there going,

00:21:09.619 --> 00:21:11.319
oh my God, are we done yet? Oh my God, I was

00:21:11.319 --> 00:21:12.680
having to go home yet. Oh my God, I'm dying.

00:21:12.759 --> 00:21:16.319
Oh my God. Like, why? Why did I do that for so

00:21:16.319 --> 00:21:21.470
many years? Because I was stupid. It's it's it's

00:21:21.470 --> 00:21:23.950
not put on the bathing suit, put on the shorts

00:21:23.950 --> 00:21:28.130
and enjoy. The activities and the time out and

00:21:28.130 --> 00:21:29.970
what you're doing. Yes, seriously, miserable

00:21:29.970 --> 00:21:33.269
because you think you're hiding. And I know it's

00:21:33.269 --> 00:21:35.410
easier for us to say that than not. And I know

00:21:35.410 --> 00:21:37.569
there's people who are pre -surgery that are

00:21:37.569 --> 00:21:40.029
like, ah, that's fine. If you want to wait till

00:21:40.029 --> 00:21:42.509
like it is, it really is OK, because I did not

00:21:42.509 --> 00:21:44.509
do this before, nor would I have had the confidence

00:21:44.509 --> 00:21:48.089
before. But no. after I do and the loose skin

00:21:48.089 --> 00:21:50.410
thing you're gonna have to kind of just pick

00:21:50.410 --> 00:21:52.910
your battle on that one because it should you

00:21:52.910 --> 00:21:54.630
know wear it with confidence the other thing

00:21:54.630 --> 00:21:57.509
is you see it more magnified than anyone else

00:21:57.509 --> 00:21:59.549
will because when you post on social it's not

00:21:59.549 --> 00:22:02.329
even that noticeable and that's the big thing

00:22:02.329 --> 00:22:04.490
for you to keep in mind that you're amplifying

00:22:04.490 --> 00:22:08.559
it more than it will ever come across so don't

00:22:08.559 --> 00:22:10.859
worry about that. And also nobody is perfect.

00:22:10.980 --> 00:22:13.279
Remember social media is very airbrushed and

00:22:13.279 --> 00:22:15.200
filtered. Even if you think your favorite influencer

00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:18.640
doesn't filter, they all filter birds, papaya

00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:22.920
filters. Like they all filter guys. You notice

00:22:22.920 --> 00:22:25.859
more, like you said, like, no, people aren't

00:22:25.859 --> 00:22:28.599
noticing it. And it's funny. And I, I not doing

00:22:28.599 --> 00:22:30.740
this to judge people and I hope it's not coming

00:22:30.740 --> 00:22:33.279
off that way. But now when I'm in public and

00:22:33.279 --> 00:22:35.339
I'm sitting there in my jeans and I'm self -conscious

00:22:35.339 --> 00:22:38.400
still. And I am, you know, kind of adjusting

00:22:38.400 --> 00:22:39.980
and fiddling with them and pulling them down

00:22:39.980 --> 00:22:42.140
to make sure that that extra flabs covered, whatever.

00:22:42.619 --> 00:22:45.240
I now look at the other women out there wearing

00:22:45.240 --> 00:22:48.319
shorts. And again, not in a judgmental way, but

00:22:48.319 --> 00:22:50.700
in a way now, like it brings me comfort to see

00:22:50.700 --> 00:22:53.799
these other women who back then when I was obese,

00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:56.539
I remember looking at them and thinking, like,

00:22:56.579 --> 00:22:58.579
they look perfect. They look amazing. Look at

00:22:58.579 --> 00:23:00.579
how good they look in their shorts. And now when

00:23:00.579 --> 00:23:02.319
I see them in their shorts, I see a little bit

00:23:02.319 --> 00:23:04.630
of. the jiggle and I see a little bit of the

00:23:04.630 --> 00:23:08.670
flab and I see that they're the same size that

00:23:08.670 --> 00:23:10.569
I am and they're in shorts. And I used to look

00:23:10.569 --> 00:23:12.609
at them and be like, oh my God, like, look at,

00:23:12.609 --> 00:23:16.009
look at how, look at them in shorts. And so to

00:23:16.009 --> 00:23:19.269
have that moment and realize everybody has it.

00:23:20.480 --> 00:23:23.599
Everybody, everybody has it. There are very few

00:23:23.599 --> 00:23:25.680
people out there who are rocking the perfect

00:23:25.680 --> 00:23:28.559
legs. Some, some women are, and you know, you

00:23:28.559 --> 00:23:31.099
go rock your perfect legs, but it brings me a

00:23:31.099 --> 00:23:33.000
little bit of comfort now when I sit there at

00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:35.140
soccer practice or baseball. And I think, okay,

00:23:35.180 --> 00:23:38.680
they are, they're just, they're the same. They're

00:23:38.680 --> 00:23:42.380
just like me. I'm just like them. It's definitely

00:23:42.380 --> 00:23:46.079
way more of you being harder on yourself and

00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:50.339
you being overly. cautious and overanalyzing

00:23:50.339 --> 00:23:54.640
the jiggle and the skin and nobody else cares.

00:23:55.079 --> 00:23:58.339
Nobody else cares. Nobody cares. And like, if

00:23:58.339 --> 00:24:00.500
anybody even ever came up to me and was like,

00:24:00.660 --> 00:24:03.880
oh, is that loose skin? Like, yeah. You want

00:24:03.880 --> 00:24:05.819
to hear about it? Like I would love to, like,

00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:08.180
I love talking about the surgery and what I've

00:24:08.180 --> 00:24:10.480
been through. So yeah, I'll talk about it. You

00:24:10.480 --> 00:24:12.779
want to? It's, I try to look at it as, oh yeah,

00:24:12.799 --> 00:24:14.740
like it's part of my story and part of my journey.

00:24:15.210 --> 00:24:17.289
Yeah. Is that loose skin? Yeah, it is because

00:24:17.289 --> 00:24:19.950
I've lost 118 pounds. Thank you very much. Yep.

00:24:19.990 --> 00:24:23.029
Right. And the thing is own it. The leg one is

00:24:23.029 --> 00:24:25.210
only noticeable when like for like a split second

00:24:25.210 --> 00:24:26.809
when I'm standing certain ways, but like when

00:24:26.809 --> 00:24:29.730
I lay on the beach and I'm relaxing, you don't

00:24:29.730 --> 00:24:32.650
see it at all. When you're in the water, you

00:24:32.650 --> 00:24:37.369
won't see it at all. So yeah. And also I'd way

00:24:37.369 --> 00:24:39.470
rather have my arms free than have them covered

00:24:39.470 --> 00:24:42.009
up when I'm out enjoying the water and swimming.

00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:45.980
You focus on it way more than anyone else will

00:24:45.980 --> 00:24:47.799
because everybody's moving and grooving and doing

00:24:47.799 --> 00:24:49.740
their thing. And like, think about the last time

00:24:49.740 --> 00:24:51.299
you were at a pool party. Did you sit there and

00:24:51.299 --> 00:24:53.200
analyze what every single person looked like

00:24:53.200 --> 00:24:55.640
and was wearing? No. But if somebody rolled up

00:24:55.640 --> 00:24:57.319
to a pool party with all your friends dressed

00:24:57.319 --> 00:24:59.180
in a t -shirt and a pair of shorts and jumped

00:24:59.180 --> 00:25:01.259
in the pool with that on, you probably all would

00:25:01.259 --> 00:25:05.000
be like, that was a bit weird. So when you look

00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:07.740
like everybody else, as in you're all just wearing

00:25:07.740 --> 00:25:11.690
bathing suits and swimming, you don't. No, people

00:25:11.690 --> 00:25:13.470
are going to be more paying attention to you

00:25:13.470 --> 00:25:16.289
actually now interacting with them and having

00:25:16.289 --> 00:25:19.369
fun and joining in on the activities. People

00:25:19.369 --> 00:25:22.150
are going to be more taking more of their time

00:25:22.150 --> 00:25:24.849
and focus on interacting with you and having

00:25:24.849 --> 00:25:27.549
a good time with you than noticing a little bit

00:25:27.549 --> 00:25:31.230
of loose skin flabbing around on your legs. Exactly.

00:25:31.490 --> 00:25:34.589
So I know, I know what we're saying sounds way

00:25:34.589 --> 00:25:37.930
easier for, but I think my advice would be, because

00:25:37.930 --> 00:25:40.349
it's going to take time. order stuff off Amazon

00:25:40.349 --> 00:25:43.990
really like and because it has an easy return

00:25:43.990 --> 00:25:46.609
policy try a few different styles because Steph

00:25:46.609 --> 00:25:49.829
nailed it and she said exactly what I did you're

00:25:49.829 --> 00:25:51.529
going to look at your old styles you're going

00:25:51.529 --> 00:25:54.250
to because I instinctively type sleeve bathing

00:25:54.250 --> 00:25:57.009
suits like and then I was like could I do like

00:25:57.009 --> 00:25:59.750
shorts and a top and blah blah blah like branch

00:25:59.750 --> 00:26:02.470
out And buy some different styles. It's like

00:26:02.470 --> 00:26:04.890
wedding dress shopping. You kind of think you

00:26:04.890 --> 00:26:07.250
want a mermaid until you put it on and go, oh,

00:26:07.309 --> 00:26:10.029
I want the princess, right? So buy different

00:26:10.029 --> 00:26:14.829
styles. Yeah. Buy a bikini. Buy a, I don't know,

00:26:15.009 --> 00:26:17.630
buy a one piece, buy a speedo, buy a this, buy

00:26:17.630 --> 00:26:20.109
a that. But like try a ton of different styles

00:26:20.109 --> 00:26:22.410
because you're going to put them on and one of

00:26:22.410 --> 00:26:23.869
them is really going to click and you're going

00:26:23.869 --> 00:26:27.309
to go. What the hell? Like you said, it's stuff

00:26:27.309 --> 00:26:29.269
that you've probably never even thought of putting

00:26:29.269 --> 00:26:32.210
on. So you don't know if you're going to like

00:26:32.210 --> 00:26:33.970
it because you would have never in a million

00:26:33.970 --> 00:26:36.529
years even thought to put that on your body.

00:26:36.569 --> 00:26:38.250
And then that would be the one thing that is

00:26:38.250 --> 00:26:40.109
the most flattering on you. But you would never

00:26:40.109 --> 00:26:41.809
know. You would never know because you're thinking

00:26:41.809 --> 00:26:44.569
like old you and you're letting a lot of emotions

00:26:44.569 --> 00:26:48.069
in and it's hard not to. But that's how I found

00:26:48.069 --> 00:26:50.250
that green bathing suit. And like I ordered a

00:26:50.250 --> 00:26:52.319
bunch. And I ordered ones that I thought for

00:26:52.319 --> 00:26:54.799
sure were going to be the ones. And then I was

00:26:54.799 --> 00:26:57.940
like, oh, my God. Like at one point I went, oh,

00:26:57.960 --> 00:27:03.680
my God, I look 80. It was not a good look. And

00:27:03.680 --> 00:27:06.000
then I tried the one that I thought was definitely

00:27:06.000 --> 00:27:09.480
going back. And I was like, oh, wait a minute.

00:27:09.579 --> 00:27:14.460
The fuck is this? And it's like, I love it. But

00:27:14.460 --> 00:27:17.880
I think I need to challenge myself to. wear a

00:27:17.880 --> 00:27:19.839
bikini once i don't think i'm gonna go straight

00:27:19.839 --> 00:27:22.380
bikini guys but what i think i'll do is like

00:27:22.380 --> 00:27:26.920
sports bra style top with a high waisted bottom

00:27:26.920 --> 00:27:30.099
i think i could pull that off and be comfortable

00:27:30.099 --> 00:27:33.680
in that that's my two pieces a high p the one

00:27:33.680 --> 00:27:36.240
that i had that's too big it's a high like a

00:27:36.240 --> 00:27:39.529
vintagey style like a high front I just like

00:27:39.529 --> 00:27:41.690
high front in general, but I'd love that. Yeah.

00:27:41.750 --> 00:27:44.250
And then like my ask of all the followers, and

00:27:44.250 --> 00:27:46.269
I think Steph would love this too. Has anybody

00:27:46.269 --> 00:27:51.930
found a good high armpit? Oh yeah. Swimsuit because

00:27:51.930 --> 00:27:54.190
that's the thing. Like I'll wear tank tops and

00:27:54.190 --> 00:27:56.589
swimsuits. If I could just have them come up

00:27:56.589 --> 00:27:59.569
into my armpit so that it will cover my armpit.

00:27:59.569 --> 00:28:03.609
That little sticky. I don't even know you call

00:28:03.609 --> 00:28:06.430
that. I don't even know. It's like a deflated

00:28:06.430 --> 00:28:10.089
armpit in my armpit. It's like another boob.

00:28:10.089 --> 00:28:12.930
And then it just pokes out right at the... There.

00:28:13.130 --> 00:28:15.630
And I don't care if a little bit is... But it's

00:28:15.630 --> 00:28:17.690
that flap. I don't want that hanging over. Everything

00:28:17.690 --> 00:28:21.009
cuts right into it and pushes it out. I want

00:28:21.009 --> 00:28:25.109
it to go over the flap that hangs down in my

00:28:25.109 --> 00:28:28.329
armpit. High armpitted. High armpit. So if anybody

00:28:28.329 --> 00:28:30.990
has recommendations for a good high armpit...

00:28:31.279 --> 00:28:34.339
sports bra bathing suit please send it our way

00:28:34.339 --> 00:28:37.400
because that's just the one thing that annoys

00:28:37.400 --> 00:28:39.319
me I'm not even self -conscious about it I just

00:28:39.319 --> 00:28:42.720
need it it annoys me annoying too and I just

00:28:42.720 --> 00:28:44.740
want it to be like shoved in something get the

00:28:44.740 --> 00:28:47.140
fuck out of here and then I'd be fine like I've

00:28:47.140 --> 00:28:49.440
gotten very used to being okay having my arms

00:28:49.440 --> 00:28:52.940
out and not caring um and boy the bat wing is

00:28:52.940 --> 00:28:55.759
bat winging on it but yeah I think yeah I could

00:28:55.759 --> 00:29:02.359
fly away it's 33 degrees don't Don't. Don't punish

00:29:02.359 --> 00:29:05.279
yourself. Nobody's going to care. I've been wearing

00:29:05.279 --> 00:29:07.559
like sleeveless dresses, like spaghetti strap

00:29:07.559 --> 00:29:11.640
dresses on my patio. I get compliments from people

00:29:11.640 --> 00:29:13.559
like dress. And it's like, yeah, because they're

00:29:13.559 --> 00:29:15.940
looking at the dress, not my arms. Because you

00:29:15.940 --> 00:29:18.200
know what? You're actually smiling because you're

00:29:18.200 --> 00:29:20.740
not melting and sitting there hating your life,

00:29:20.880 --> 00:29:23.759
dying in sweat. Because that was the other thing,

00:29:23.819 --> 00:29:27.259
right? I probably looked miserable. Whereas now

00:29:27.259 --> 00:29:32.559
I'm. calm I'm relaxed I'm smiling I'm enjoying

00:29:32.559 --> 00:29:35.920
the activity that I'm doing because I'm not so

00:29:35.920 --> 00:29:40.140
focused on feeling like I'm melting and hating

00:29:40.140 --> 00:29:42.460
the situation I'm in I'm actually enjoying myself

00:29:42.460 --> 00:29:44.920
well and I actually look like I'm enjoying myself

00:29:44.920 --> 00:29:47.980
there's a you know a horrible stereotype that

00:29:47.980 --> 00:29:52.349
all overweight people look from Yeah. And I mean,

00:29:52.369 --> 00:29:57.069
part of it is like, it's hard to find clothes

00:29:57.069 --> 00:29:59.230
that look good. That's, that is a huge part of

00:29:59.230 --> 00:30:01.529
it. But then like, that is the thing you think

00:30:01.529 --> 00:30:04.670
you're blending in and covering up. You're standing

00:30:04.670 --> 00:30:08.230
out more and it's not even your weight that they're

00:30:08.230 --> 00:30:11.609
judging. It's almost that they're saying, oh,

00:30:11.670 --> 00:30:15.029
they don't look well. Like they don't look comfortable

00:30:15.029 --> 00:30:18.930
or good. And so it has the adverse effect where

00:30:18.930 --> 00:30:22.890
if you. wore something cute people would probably

00:30:22.890 --> 00:30:26.190
say hey that looks really cute they're not gonna

00:30:26.190 --> 00:30:29.230
be like you're too fat to wear that like no no

00:30:29.230 --> 00:30:33.190
but if you dress over like yeah it's a weird

00:30:33.190 --> 00:30:35.769
catch -22 because you think 100 % it is you look

00:30:35.769 --> 00:30:39.069
thinner and good but you're like oh it's too

00:30:39.069 --> 00:30:41.509
hot to be wearing that now you look sweaty and

00:30:41.509 --> 00:30:44.950
haggard and finding that balance right and It's

00:30:44.950 --> 00:30:47.309
like for me, it was baby steps like it started

00:30:47.309 --> 00:30:49.650
with, OK, I'm still going to wear shirts with

00:30:49.650 --> 00:30:51.450
a little bit longer sleeves and that are a little

00:30:51.450 --> 00:30:53.349
bit baggy, but they're going to be colored. We're

00:30:53.349 --> 00:30:55.750
going to step away from the black because you're

00:30:55.750 --> 00:30:58.150
not blending in like you think you are. And so

00:30:58.150 --> 00:31:00.190
I started with that. And then I went to, OK,

00:31:00.269 --> 00:31:02.009
we're going to wear T -shirts that aren't necessarily

00:31:02.009 --> 00:31:04.410
like the oversized men's style. We're going to

00:31:04.410 --> 00:31:07.670
look like an actual woman's T -shirt. And it

00:31:07.670 --> 00:31:11.509
was it was baby steps. And then it was, OK, maybe.

00:31:12.200 --> 00:31:15.059
You don't need to wear the shirt and then the

00:31:15.059 --> 00:31:17.000
tank top underneath because you think that's

00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:20.319
sucking things in. But again, it's 34, 35 degrees

00:31:20.319 --> 00:31:22.079
out. Maybe you don't need to wear three layers

00:31:22.079 --> 00:31:25.859
of clothing. And so like baby steps until eventually.

00:31:26.380 --> 00:31:30.519
Now. Yeah. Now when it's this weather, I don't

00:31:30.519 --> 00:31:33.339
even think I just grab my shorts. I grab my T

00:31:33.339 --> 00:31:37.920
-shirt and I'm out the door. And it's just like

00:31:37.920 --> 00:31:42.089
it's almost freeing. Because now I don't have

00:31:42.089 --> 00:31:45.269
that worry of, oh my God, I have to go outside

00:31:45.269 --> 00:31:46.450
and I have to put on my jeans. I'm going to be

00:31:46.450 --> 00:31:51.930
so hot. It's now I can go out and enjoy the day

00:31:51.930 --> 00:31:53.589
and the activity. And yeah, I still have moments

00:31:53.589 --> 00:31:57.210
where I look down and my legs, extra skin is

00:31:57.210 --> 00:31:59.990
kind of hanging out. And so I find myself fiddling

00:31:59.990 --> 00:32:04.269
a little bit. But overall, it's just very freeing

00:32:04.269 --> 00:32:07.210
to not have that weighing on you and not have

00:32:07.210 --> 00:32:09.180
to worry about that. And like I said, to be able

00:32:09.180 --> 00:32:13.579
to actually enjoy what you're doing and not have

00:32:13.579 --> 00:32:17.400
that look, that look of anger and grouchiness.

00:32:18.519 --> 00:32:22.900
And I would turn down activities because I knew

00:32:22.900 --> 00:32:25.259
I was going to be too hot in my jeans and my

00:32:25.259 --> 00:32:27.940
shirt or whatever for the activity. So I would

00:32:27.940 --> 00:32:29.799
miss out on opportunities and activities because

00:32:29.799 --> 00:32:32.519
I wouldn't dress appropriately for the weather.

00:32:33.140 --> 00:32:35.579
And I'm like, look at all the fun things I missed

00:32:35.579 --> 00:32:39.500
out on. Like literally just lounging in the beach,

00:32:39.599 --> 00:32:42.519
you know, lounging in a pool, just chilling.

00:32:42.720 --> 00:32:45.700
Like there's so much that I also just didn't

00:32:45.700 --> 00:32:50.920
do. And yeah, it's just interesting. So don't

00:32:50.920 --> 00:32:53.940
let yourself miss out on life and opportunities

00:32:53.940 --> 00:32:59.019
because I guarantee. people are not focused on

00:32:59.019 --> 00:33:01.700
you the way you think they are. They don't care.

00:33:02.119 --> 00:33:03.799
They have other things on their mind. They would

00:33:03.799 --> 00:33:06.420
much rather be focused on spending the time with

00:33:06.420 --> 00:33:08.579
you and you enjoying yourself and you partaking

00:33:08.579 --> 00:33:12.140
in the activity than staring at you in shorts

00:33:12.140 --> 00:33:14.799
and a t -shirt. Exactly. And if they are going

00:33:14.799 --> 00:33:16.759
to say something to you, they're a miserable

00:33:16.759 --> 00:33:18.480
type of person. Hunt them in the throat. They're

00:33:18.480 --> 00:33:20.000
not going to say something to you any way. No.

00:33:20.019 --> 00:33:22.880
You don't need that anymore. They're one of those

00:33:22.880 --> 00:33:25.160
people that... is just going to be that type

00:33:25.160 --> 00:33:29.119
of person. You don't owe them anything. You go,

00:33:29.119 --> 00:33:32.319
you go live your life. You do you, but yeah,

00:33:34.160 --> 00:33:37.079
that's my advice. Go slow. Like she said, find

00:33:37.079 --> 00:33:39.920
things on Amazon, try them on at home until you

00:33:39.920 --> 00:33:41.559
find something that at home, you kind of go,

00:33:41.599 --> 00:33:45.160
I kind of like. this it looks good yeah and there's

00:33:45.160 --> 00:33:47.420
nothing wrong with a cover -up as long as it's

00:33:47.420 --> 00:33:50.180
an actual cover -up like do not let me catch

00:33:50.180 --> 00:33:52.079
you out there in that t -shirt like go get a

00:33:52.079 --> 00:33:53.880
cute cover -up because there's nothing wrong

00:33:53.880 --> 00:33:56.039
with having that on either like if you want to

00:33:56.039 --> 00:33:57.900
rock a two -piece and then have a really cute

00:33:57.900 --> 00:34:00.180
little like crocheted cover -up over it that

00:34:00.180 --> 00:34:02.440
still counts as rocking a two -piece guys totally

00:34:02.440 --> 00:34:06.789
still counts totally absolutely so Order on Amazon.

00:34:07.150 --> 00:34:09.289
I recommend Amazon just because it's cheaper

00:34:09.289 --> 00:34:11.309
than, you know, a specialty store at the moment.

00:34:11.309 --> 00:34:13.809
Until you find your new style, because there's

00:34:13.809 --> 00:34:16.489
a lot out there. Challenge yourself to try different

00:34:16.489 --> 00:34:18.630
styles, even if they scare you. Because like

00:34:18.630 --> 00:34:20.550
we said, you just never know what's going to

00:34:20.550 --> 00:34:24.210
flatter your new body. And it's weird how things

00:34:24.210 --> 00:34:26.909
that you don't think should work, work to hide

00:34:26.909 --> 00:34:28.889
and minimize other things. Like this sleeveless

00:34:28.889 --> 00:34:32.329
bathing suit I have, my arms look small in it.

00:34:32.639 --> 00:34:34.320
And I don't know how that works, but it just

00:34:34.320 --> 00:34:37.699
works. So almost getting a little cap sleeve

00:34:37.699 --> 00:34:40.360
draws almost two attention to what you're trying

00:34:40.360 --> 00:34:43.280
to hide. So try a few different styles, try a

00:34:43.280 --> 00:34:46.119
few different designs and colors and start small.

00:34:46.260 --> 00:34:48.400
And there will be, trust me, there will be something

00:34:48.400 --> 00:34:51.679
that you like that you go, Oh, what? I can do

00:34:51.679 --> 00:34:55.619
this. I can do this. And then take it slow. Maybe

00:34:55.619 --> 00:34:58.239
it's just at a friend's pool. Maybe it's just

00:34:58.239 --> 00:34:59.840
at a public pool. Maybe you're just going to

00:34:59.840 --> 00:35:03.150
do a lane swim one night. don't rush right out

00:35:03.150 --> 00:35:04.789
and go to a crazy busy beach if you don't feel

00:35:04.789 --> 00:35:07.690
like it, but take your time, go slow. As someone

00:35:07.690 --> 00:35:10.150
who's been on two cruises since surgery, one

00:35:10.150 --> 00:35:12.849
where I was like six months post -op and one

00:35:12.849 --> 00:35:15.210
where I was actually like after my major weight

00:35:15.210 --> 00:35:17.929
loss, like a year and a half post -op, nobody

00:35:17.929 --> 00:35:21.250
gives a shit what you're wearing. I went to a

00:35:21.250 --> 00:35:23.309
public beach in the Bahamas. I went in the pool

00:35:23.309 --> 00:35:26.070
on the cruise. Like not a single person gave

00:35:26.070 --> 00:35:28.730
me a double. stare about what I was wearing unless

00:35:28.730 --> 00:35:30.929
they were literally checking me out. Like there,

00:35:31.010 --> 00:35:34.050
there was, there was no, there was no judgment

00:35:34.050 --> 00:35:36.570
for what I'm wearing. And then you quickly come

00:35:36.570 --> 00:35:39.210
to realize like they're all shapes and sizes

00:35:39.210 --> 00:35:41.329
wearing bikinis and bathing suits out and about

00:35:41.329 --> 00:35:44.329
all shapes and sizes. So, and I mean this nicely,

00:35:44.409 --> 00:35:45.670
this is going to sound horrible. There's always

00:35:45.670 --> 00:35:47.170
going to be someone you look way better than.

00:35:47.860 --> 00:35:50.619
So don't just focus on like staring at someone

00:35:50.619 --> 00:35:52.400
who's super skinny and you think looks better

00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:54.880
than you. You also definitely look better than

00:35:54.880 --> 00:35:56.360
someone else who's out there rocking a bathing

00:35:56.360 --> 00:35:59.559
suit too. Nobody thinks that way. Nobody's judging

00:35:59.559 --> 00:36:02.320
and rating you guys. But if it gives you confidence,

00:36:02.440 --> 00:36:05.019
just know like, yeah, there's somebody looking

00:36:05.019 --> 00:36:06.780
at you going, damn, I wish I looked like them.

00:36:07.179 --> 00:36:11.619
Shit. It really is. I guarantee you. 100 % it's

00:36:11.619 --> 00:36:15.159
true. And be proud of that. Like own that, right?

00:36:15.400 --> 00:36:19.630
Yes. And remember that like the body you have

00:36:19.630 --> 00:36:21.849
now is one that you would have coveted looking

00:36:21.849 --> 00:36:24.090
in public. Oh God. Like you would have absolutely

00:36:24.090 --> 00:36:25.949
been like, if I could only look like them, I

00:36:25.949 --> 00:36:28.710
swear I'd be so confident. And now you let yourself

00:36:28.710 --> 00:36:31.130
in. You're still hard on yourself. Way too hard

00:36:31.130 --> 00:36:33.929
on yourself. So real bodies have movement and

00:36:33.929 --> 00:36:36.690
jiggle and wiggle and flabby. I got it. It has

00:36:36.690 --> 00:36:38.989
nothing to do with you being formally obese at

00:36:38.989 --> 00:36:41.710
all. That's literally what bodies look like.

00:36:41.849 --> 00:36:46.170
So buy the damn bathing suit and have a good

00:36:46.170 --> 00:36:51.489
summer. enjoy it i love it enjoy it um like always

00:36:51.489 --> 00:36:53.469
stuff thank you for joining me on this we will

00:36:53.469 --> 00:36:56.750
be back next week another great great topic and

00:36:56.750 --> 00:36:59.210
we just really love you guys for listening and

00:36:59.210 --> 00:37:01.630
following along and we cannot wait to chat with

00:37:01.630 --> 00:37:04.429
you next week yes thanks guys bye