Episode 17: Body Dysmorphia, Loose Skin & Life After Bariatric Surgery ft. @bypasskass

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Hey, Steph and Cass. Hello. Welcome to the next

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edition of the Bariatric Banter podcast. I am

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super pumped. Me too. Highlighting my week. Well,

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we're pumped because you're here. We've been

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counting down, anxiously waiting for today. We're

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super excited. So thank you for coming. We're

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so pumped to have you here. Well, it's just nice

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to know there's other people creating like in

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the Canadian space. I love to hear it. And knowing

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that there are people like close by just living

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the same experience. I don't know about your

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friend groups, but obviously not a lot of people

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in my friend group have the bariatric experience

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to be shared. So it's always nice finding others.

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Oh, yeah, you nailed it. It was me and then Steph

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after me. And it was like we had each other.

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So that's about it. It wasn't much. And it doesn't

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mean there isn't people who are doing it, but

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nobody was like sharing that knowledge and that

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vibe online. So we were like, well, we'll take

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up the mantle then. We'll do this. Well, that

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was the thing. Like the Canadian content is so

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lacking. And I remember like when I was, thank

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goodness I had Hannah, because when I was going

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through my... pre -op. And first of all, when

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I was just even trying to decide, is this what

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I want to do? Is this the path I want to go on?

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I've been assigned Hannah. And then I can stumble

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across your TikTok. Like I've been following

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you since before I even decided to have surgery.

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Um, and like using your content as part of my

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criteria as to, okay, what is this really about?

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Um, do I want to do this? And then I would message

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Hannah continually. And then during the process,

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if I didn't have Hannah, I would have had nobody.

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to turn to. And so much of the content is American,

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which we've talked about on this podcast is very

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different. So the more I think for us, the more

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we can put out there just to help with some of

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the myths, help answer some questions. That was

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ultimately our goal really is just let's help

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people find some Canadian content where they

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can relate to it. They can get the answers hopefully

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they're looking for and clear up some of the

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confusion around what's out there and what's

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not out there. Yeah. love it yeah that's that's

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where this came from um there's some great people

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doing some stuff so we've shared them before

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like there's some cool people we've loved some

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of them have disappeared like i really want to

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know what happened to all about bariatric i loved

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following her in her grocery hauls haven't seen

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her in a while but yeah it was just Even to this

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day, we still struggle to find information that

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we're looking for. We've gone down rabbit holes

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on things like calories, on macros. Oh, I could

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do a whole rant on macros. Just like accessing

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info, we still struggle with finding results

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and answers. Like everybody varies so differently

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in what they recommend. That's what we're going

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to try to do. We want to talk to dietitians and

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people like you and people who've done different

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programs. And because we know we both did sleeve,

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but you didn't. So I think we'll let you introduce

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yourself to everybody who I guarantee you follows

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you already, by the way. But we want to do stuff

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like this because you have a different experience

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still in Canada, but we can't speak to the bypass

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side of things. So we were like, we should bring

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someone on. And a different program because Hannah

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and I went through the same program as well.

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Same program. Yeah. Yeah, and I was in a different

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area. I'm very open that I was in Hamilton, Ontario.

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I don't live there. So I feel comfortable sharing

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that my program was out of Hamilton, Ontario.

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And yeah, I so I had R &Y in April of 2023. Now,

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so I'm almost two and a half years, just past

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two years, actually similar to Hannah. A year

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after me, or a month after me. Yeah. Exactly.

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Exactly. Yeah. So we're very similar on the paths

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we're on. I would say I'm currently holding in

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maintenance phase. But yeah, I started tick tocking,

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I think only a few weeks or maybe a month or

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two prior to having my surgery, just because

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I needed a sounding board. A lot of people will

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say they start posting their journey because

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of accountability, which is kind of the case

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for me. I did have a friend in my life who had

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also had bypass at the time. And she, she wasn't

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really, she was helpful, but only to an extent,

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because I would say she was very much not a rule

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follower. And that's just not in me to not be

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a rule follower after surgery. So it was nice

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just finding other people. And like we said,

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we have a lot of American friends posting. So

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I found kind of camaraderie in posting my journey

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with that. But yeah, R &Y holding in maintenance

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phase. Yeah, I think that kind of sums up where

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I'm at right now. Can you take us through like

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high level why you chose bypass versus sleeve

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or how your program kind of determines which

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option you should go with? Yeah. So I actually,

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and a lot of people ask, how did you decide?

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And honestly, I didn't get a choice. My program

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said, you are going to be told once, essentially

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once the surgeon is in there, he's going to decide

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what makes most sense for you. Now they did say

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that based on research and how long bypass has

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been out there, the preference was bypass. But

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it all came down to, I guess, you know, all of

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the fatty liver and how much space you have in

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there to work with. That's what it was going

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to come down to. So I had to sign a waiver saying

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that if they get in there and RNY is not optimal

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for a healthy surgery, then they would switch

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over to sleeve. And I had to sign my life away

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just saying I was okay that they would do as

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a doctor what felt best for my body while they

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were working. my anatomy. Did you have to do

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a pre -op liquid diet before through your program?

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Yeah. I personally had to do, so my highest weight

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when I was going on shakes was 263. And then

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I had to do two weeks of the MediMeal shakes.

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Oh, MediMeal. Nice. We had OptiFast, which I

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heard is worse. I was going to say, I don't know

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which is better. I think they're both. They're

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both not great. You just got through it. Yeah,

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chug it down. How long were you in the program

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before you started the two -week liquid diet?

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Actually was in my, I was with an actual clinic

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that specialized with obesity who then referred

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me to the bariatric program. So I was on GLP

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-1s for about a year before I decided that, or

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actually it was my doctors who said, you know,

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you did the GLP -1s, you gave it a good college

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try. We think a referral for surgery, bariatric

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surgery would. be good for you. And then I said,

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okay, at that point in time, I also wanted to

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try myself, like give it that one last shot.

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And then, yeah, I was in the bariatric program

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for about nine months before I actually got that

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call saying, we're going to book you in. You've

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done all your, a lot of people don't talk about

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too, if you don't get your prerequisites fast

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enough, like seeing all your doctors, getting

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your blood work, your scopes. I ended up having

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to get two scopes because they found something

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abnormal. Yeah. So that could delay things and

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people don't realize that or there's not a lot

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of, I've noticed with comments I get, there's

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not a lot of patients there that there's going

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to be, you just got to follow the process before

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you have surgery and it could take some time.

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Yeah. It's crazy the difference between clinics.

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So your timeline is pretty close to mine. I was

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11 months. Hannah was longer because she was

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in COVID. But I have a friend who just went through

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Hamilton a couple months ago now and she was

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two months. From start to finish. Oh my goodness.

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Yeah. Blew my mind. Wow. Blew my mind. Two months.

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Crazy. I appreciated the time because it really

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allowed me. to figure out it's what I wanted,

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you know? Yes. And get your mindset. There's

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so many, like Hannah and I have talked about,

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there's a lot of physical changes, but there's

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a lot of mental, emotional mindset changes that

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have to happen, habits that have to come into

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place. And so as hard as it can be when you finally

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make that decision to have surgery, you're bought

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in, you're excited, you're ready to go, as hard

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as it can be to wait, I think that's so important

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and so crucial. And we talked about this where,

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you know, the programs in the U .S. where you

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go, you pay, you have your surgery, and you call

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it a day. I appreciated now looking back, having

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that 11 month timeframe because it gave me time

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to mentally wrap my head around what's about

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to happen, how my life's going to change, start

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implementing some of those habits, making the

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changes slowly and steadily to build up to where

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I needed to be to then. be successful afterwards.

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In the moment, I wasn't happy about winning.

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No, during the process, you're like, this is

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stupid. Call me and tell me some numbers, man.

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But in hindsight, I look back and go, good God,

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I would have failed spectacularly if I did not

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have this lead up, this ramp up. Because you

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almost reach a point where you're like, okay,

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guys, let's go. I'm ready. And I even said to

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my mom, I just feel so ready. And they would

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say things like, wow, you're really positive

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about this. I was like, Oh, guys, I've done my

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research. I've done everything I need to do.

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I was just me. I had nobody to talk to or lean

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on. So I was like, I feel Like, I know what I

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need to know. I did the work. And I remember

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telling my mom, like, I would rather walk into

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this surgery being, like, super excited than

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have to be wheeled into this operating room because

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I did not make this change in time. And they

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let you walk in, which was super fucking cool

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about Guelph. You're waiting outside the room

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in your little bed. And I'm still trying to not

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be anxious about it. And the nurse was like,

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you want to walk in? And I was like, yes, I fucking

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do. Like, I was so ready to go at that point.

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If I hadn't had that waiting time, I think I

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would have been like vomiting, anxious, stressed

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out. Like there's no way in two months. They

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let us choose at Guelph. Now I will say they

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did strongly suggest bypass. And we've told people,

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and I'll say this caveat here. If your surgeon

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tells you to go one way, like please. like listen

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to them for a reason. Yeah. And don't, don't

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just be like, well, Hannah and Steph pick sleeve.

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So I'm going to pick sleeve. Like don't, I researched

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duodenal switch, bypass sleeve. The other one

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I can't pronounce because there's like six or

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seven versions of this folks. So I researched

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the crap out of it and it did come down to bypass

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or sleeve. And I had long talks with my mom who

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is a nurse and was a cardiac nurse at the time.

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And I said, OK, let's walk through the pros and

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cons of each of these. And being in my early

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30s and being relatively healthy, like no diabetes

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or like just high blood pressure, high cholesterol,

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I said, I think sleeve would work best for me

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because I can reverse it to full bypass if this

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goes wrong. And I like the idea of being on my

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feet and moving. I don't, you know, I want to

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be same day surgery in and out. So my surgeon

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was like, my recommendation is bypass, but I'm

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going to actually let you pick whichever one

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you think. is best. And I said, sleeve. And we

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went through why. And he said, okay, those are

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really good reasons. And I'm fine with that.

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And he said, you could pick at the day, the day

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of, if you're laying on that bed in the operating

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room and you look at me and say, bypass, like

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you're allowed to choose up until, but only certain

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people are. So do not be offended or feel bad

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if your surgeon says, it's my very strong recommendation

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that you will be successful with bypass. We had

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the same surgeon and same program, same surgeon.

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And then, yeah, during the pre -op, same thing.

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He goes through, okay, this is bypass. This is

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sleep. These are the pros and cons of both. These

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are the complications of both. This is what I

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recommend. You tell me what you want and why.

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And then I will tell you if I agree or not. But

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yeah, there's all different reasons why one is

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recommended than the other. One is not better

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than the other. You have to do what's right for

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you or what medically they say is right for you.

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Yeah. So no, I think. And we've talked to people

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like I have now, um, us who have done sleeve.

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I said to my friend who went through Hamilton

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also, she just had bypass. She's crushing it.

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She had a great experience. So just trust with

00:12:24.679 --> 00:12:26.639
like, trust your surgeon, do what your medical

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team advises. Um, but it was super cool walking

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into, walking into the operating room. And I

00:12:32.940 --> 00:12:35.580
said to Hannah, I remembered, um, I was in like

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pre -op, I was in the bed and then the. porter

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I guess you'd call her came to move me and she

00:12:40.980 --> 00:12:43.360
was like okay let's go and I was standing there

00:12:43.360 --> 00:12:44.980
and I kind of went to walk and she looks at me

00:12:44.980 --> 00:12:46.779
because I remember Hannah saying you walked into

00:12:46.779 --> 00:12:49.000
the operating room and so like I go to walk and

00:12:49.000 --> 00:12:52.879
she looks at me and she goes uh in the bed And

00:12:52.879 --> 00:12:55.200
I was like, oh, this is crap. You were so pissed.

00:12:55.460 --> 00:12:58.500
You're like, Hannah fucking got to walk in. Why

00:12:58.500 --> 00:13:01.399
did I get to walk? I got into bed. I was so mad.

00:13:01.559 --> 00:13:04.679
But then they rolled me outside of the operating

00:13:04.679 --> 00:13:07.539
room and then gave me my IV and everything. But

00:13:07.539 --> 00:13:09.419
I literally was laying there. I'm like, this

00:13:09.419 --> 00:13:11.659
is crap. I could just tell. I could tell you

00:13:11.659 --> 00:13:14.139
were probably like, fucking Hannah. I was like,

00:13:14.159 --> 00:13:17.480
why is Hannah so special? Like, that sounds so

00:13:17.480 --> 00:13:19.519
cool to walk in there. And then after they did

00:13:19.519 --> 00:13:23.480
my IV. Yeah. Walk right in there. Right? Like,

00:13:23.480 --> 00:13:25.539
oh, yeah, right? So then the nurse comes. She's

00:13:25.539 --> 00:13:27.679
like, are you ready? And I was like, yeah. She

00:13:27.679 --> 00:13:29.559
was like, let's go. And then she started walking

00:13:29.559 --> 00:13:34.220
away. And I was like, oh, now I get to walk in.

00:13:34.639 --> 00:13:36.919
So then, yeah, then I got to walk in, which was

00:13:36.919 --> 00:13:40.279
super cool. Mine, I got wheeled in, but I was

00:13:40.279 --> 00:13:42.539
not very nervous the day of. I was actually very,

00:13:42.620 --> 00:13:46.179
like, excited. And then the only time I got nervous

00:13:46.179 --> 00:13:51.419
was in Hamilton. I guess the surgery area is

00:13:51.419 --> 00:13:56.519
like back to back doors of, um, surgeries happening

00:13:56.519 --> 00:14:00.220
with like windows and they're wheeling me past.

00:14:00.460 --> 00:14:02.580
And I'm like, we're going, okay, we're going

00:14:02.580 --> 00:14:04.419
through this whole hallway of surgeries and I'm

00:14:04.419 --> 00:14:06.799
seeing all these surgeries happening and just

00:14:06.799 --> 00:14:08.639
like surgeons all standing there doing their

00:14:08.639 --> 00:14:11.519
thing. And they're like, they're bringing me

00:14:11.519 --> 00:14:13.340
right to the end of the hall. So I got to see

00:14:13.340 --> 00:14:16.320
every door. Oh Christ. That would freak me out.

00:14:16.809 --> 00:14:19.450
Yeah. That would freak me out a little bit. I

00:14:19.450 --> 00:14:21.029
was like, okay, I wasn't nervous until I just

00:14:21.029 --> 00:14:23.210
saw all this like, and I'm not someone who's

00:14:23.210 --> 00:14:25.210
like, blood and stuff does not scare me, but

00:14:25.210 --> 00:14:27.490
it was just like the reality of that's about

00:14:27.490 --> 00:14:30.570
to be me. Over and over and over again. Yeah.

00:14:30.590 --> 00:14:32.450
I was like, I was not scared. They should have

00:14:32.450 --> 00:14:34.470
told me to look the other way because it was

00:14:34.470 --> 00:14:37.049
that or like brick wall on the other side. I

00:14:37.049 --> 00:14:38.809
would have preferred the brick wall, but obviously

00:14:38.809 --> 00:14:41.750
I was like, uh. Because I assume you're like

00:14:41.750 --> 00:14:43.809
us, like you've never had a major surgery before

00:14:43.809 --> 00:14:46.460
this surgery. I had never had surgery until that.

00:14:46.480 --> 00:14:48.580
Like I had wisdom teeth, which isn't really anything.

00:14:48.740 --> 00:14:50.700
I don't count that. No. And when I was little,

00:14:50.919 --> 00:14:53.659
I had tubes in my ears, but I was little and

00:14:53.659 --> 00:14:57.299
tonsil. But I'd never had surgery before. Yeah.

00:14:57.299 --> 00:14:59.080
So I had no idea what to expect. That's the thing,

00:14:59.080 --> 00:15:00.960
right? When you don't know what to expect and

00:15:00.960 --> 00:15:03.139
you just get to one door and then walk in, you're

00:15:03.139 --> 00:15:05.840
kind of like, this is new and cool. If you have

00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:08.259
to wheel past them for 15 minutes before you

00:15:08.259 --> 00:15:10.919
go in, then your thoughts start going, oh, shit.

00:15:10.960 --> 00:15:13.899
This is real. Oh, Jesus. This is real. But no,

00:15:13.940 --> 00:15:15.600
I love that you said that because I think we

00:15:15.600 --> 00:15:17.940
all, that's one thing I want people to kind of

00:15:17.940 --> 00:15:19.559
take away from it is it's okay to be nervous,

00:15:19.600 --> 00:15:21.740
but there's something weird about bariatric people

00:15:21.740 --> 00:15:23.919
where like the day of surgery, we're all kind

00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:26.879
of like, yes, because for the most part, we've

00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:30.360
been begging for this for so long in one way

00:15:30.360 --> 00:15:33.759
or another that like, I was so excited for this.

00:15:34.080 --> 00:15:36.519
I didn't even think about post -op or anything

00:15:36.519 --> 00:15:39.740
after. I was just like, let's fucking do. Let's

00:15:39.740 --> 00:15:42.200
go. I was excited for the surgery. I was terrified

00:15:42.200 --> 00:15:43.960
for the IV, but I was excited for the surgery.

00:15:44.139 --> 00:15:46.200
Yeah, and the heparin and all that jazz. Oh,

00:15:46.200 --> 00:15:50.080
the heparin. But what we're really here to talk

00:15:50.080 --> 00:15:52.779
about today, which we should do another episode

00:15:52.779 --> 00:15:54.960
just all about the differences between our programs,

00:15:55.019 --> 00:15:58.320
is something that I think rears its ugly head

00:15:58.320 --> 00:16:02.559
from day one straight through to year 10, and

00:16:02.559 --> 00:16:06.950
that is body dysmorphia. That is for those who

00:16:06.950 --> 00:16:08.950
don't know or have never experienced it yet.

00:16:09.110 --> 00:16:11.690
That is you look at yourself, whether it's in

00:16:11.690 --> 00:16:14.110
a mirror or just in general in life, and you

00:16:14.110 --> 00:16:16.730
do not see what is actually reflected there.

00:16:16.870 --> 00:16:20.289
You see yourself still as your obese self. And

00:16:20.289 --> 00:16:22.470
this happens not just to obese people. This is,

00:16:22.549 --> 00:16:26.049
you know, you see yourself with scars that aren't

00:16:26.049 --> 00:16:28.309
there, or it's just that you see your body in

00:16:28.309 --> 00:16:30.330
a completely different way than everyone else.

00:16:30.370 --> 00:16:33.529
And it's hard for you to. See the weight loss,

00:16:33.610 --> 00:16:36.490
see the journey, see the healing, see the changes

00:16:36.490 --> 00:16:40.470
in yourself. For our specific use case, we still

00:16:40.470 --> 00:16:42.950
see ourselves as our obese self. And it's really

00:16:42.950 --> 00:16:47.429
hard not to see yourself like that. And I didn't

00:16:47.429 --> 00:16:48.990
tell you, Hannah, I thought about it this morning

00:16:48.990 --> 00:16:51.370
when I was getting ready. I had my six -month

00:16:51.370 --> 00:16:55.129
post -op phone call this week. And the social

00:16:55.129 --> 00:16:59.049
worker did ask me, she said, when you look in

00:16:59.049 --> 00:17:02.990
the mirror, do you see the changes? And I kind

00:17:02.990 --> 00:17:05.690
of stopped for a minute and I said, yeah. And

00:17:05.690 --> 00:17:07.589
she said, but do you see? And I was kind of surprised

00:17:07.589 --> 00:17:09.529
she went down this path. She goes, but do you

00:17:09.529 --> 00:17:12.549
see the changes that other people have seen?

00:17:12.630 --> 00:17:15.089
Because I mentioned to her that I went to an

00:17:15.089 --> 00:17:17.250
event last weekend and there were people there

00:17:17.250 --> 00:17:20.109
that I hadn't seen since surgery. And so I was

00:17:20.109 --> 00:17:22.130
curious what reactions were going to be. And

00:17:22.130 --> 00:17:23.950
you get excited because you know you've changed.

00:17:24.509 --> 00:17:27.029
I told her how I had amazing feedback. People

00:17:27.029 --> 00:17:28.930
were awesome. Everybody was super supportive.

00:17:29.609 --> 00:17:31.950
So then she said, okay, but when you look in

00:17:31.950 --> 00:17:34.829
the mirror, do you see the change? And I said,

00:17:34.849 --> 00:17:37.430
well, yeah. And then I thought for a minute,

00:17:37.450 --> 00:17:41.230
I said, but honestly, but honestly, not to the

00:17:41.230 --> 00:17:45.369
extent that other people seem to see it. And

00:17:45.369 --> 00:17:48.769
I know part of it is the fact that, and it'll

00:17:48.769 --> 00:17:51.250
be interesting because we are at different parts

00:17:51.250 --> 00:17:55.589
of our journey, right? Part of it I know is because

00:17:55.589 --> 00:17:58.109
we see ourselves every day. From a day -to -day

00:17:58.109 --> 00:18:01.410
basis, the changes are minuscule, right? From

00:18:01.410 --> 00:18:03.910
one day to the next. So you see yourself every

00:18:03.910 --> 00:18:06.390
day. It's harder to see those changes, I think.

00:18:07.509 --> 00:18:12.210
But I said to her, no, I don't see it the same.

00:18:12.309 --> 00:18:15.230
I know my clothes are different. I know I'm down

00:18:15.230 --> 00:18:18.349
sizes. I know there's 92 pounds that are gone

00:18:18.349 --> 00:18:23.490
that weren't there. But I still see. the the

00:18:23.490 --> 00:18:27.569
flabby arms I still see the loose skin here I

00:18:27.569 --> 00:18:30.670
still see the bigger thighs because I've always

00:18:30.670 --> 00:18:32.210
had bigger thighs I know they're gonna be the

00:18:32.210 --> 00:18:35.309
last to go like I still see all of that I'm like

00:18:35.309 --> 00:18:38.109
okay my waist is smaller okay I have better this

00:18:38.109 --> 00:18:41.650
but there's the thighs or there's there's the

00:18:41.650 --> 00:18:46.430
love handles right um so it's interesting how

00:18:46.430 --> 00:18:49.529
you see it to an extent but you just can't get

00:18:49.529 --> 00:18:53.460
past some of those areas. Yeah. Do you guys have

00:18:53.460 --> 00:18:55.359
that moment where you're walking past a mirror

00:18:55.359 --> 00:18:58.279
and you like quite literally, like you're, you're

00:18:58.279 --> 00:19:00.420
not quite looking at yourself, but then as you're

00:19:00.420 --> 00:19:02.240
walking by, you're almost like, who is that?

00:19:02.400 --> 00:19:04.799
Yeah. You double take. You're like, Oh yeah.

00:19:05.180 --> 00:19:07.440
That was probably one of my first moments. I

00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:10.099
was like, I there's early on in my journey. I

00:19:10.099 --> 00:19:12.599
remember doing that and being like, it was such

00:19:12.599 --> 00:19:15.900
an out of body experience, kind of not realizing

00:19:15.900 --> 00:19:21.119
that was me. I'm used to always avoiding the

00:19:21.119 --> 00:19:23.960
mirror. So looking the other way, looking down,

00:19:24.279 --> 00:19:26.500
not looking in it. So when you catch yourself

00:19:26.500 --> 00:19:29.660
in it, you're like, what? And I almost wish that

00:19:29.660 --> 00:19:32.079
I could go back to like first year Hannah, because

00:19:32.079 --> 00:19:34.500
there would, there'd be moments where like that

00:19:34.500 --> 00:19:36.279
would catch me and then I would just stop and

00:19:36.279 --> 00:19:39.059
marvel at it. And I'd be like, holy shit. Like,

00:19:39.079 --> 00:19:41.859
and I wouldn't be so excited. And now two years

00:19:41.859 --> 00:19:45.359
post -op. No, like I've lost that wonder and

00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:50.019
that delight. Now I go, hmm, okay. Are you gaining

00:19:50.019 --> 00:19:52.900
weight again? Hmm, look at your belly. Like I've

00:19:52.900 --> 00:19:57.619
gone fully back into, hmm, mode instead of like,

00:19:58.000 --> 00:20:03.200
whoa, Marvel mode. And that kind of sucks. Yeah,

00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:05.460
I can relate to that. Actually, that once you

00:20:05.460 --> 00:20:07.460
get far out, far out enough from it, I remember

00:20:07.460 --> 00:20:10.160
that feeling of not recognizing myself and doing

00:20:10.160 --> 00:20:12.579
that double take in a mirror. But this far out

00:20:12.579 --> 00:20:14.500
for me, the loose skin and stuff is something

00:20:14.500 --> 00:20:17.769
that I'm like. Honestly, envy is one of those

00:20:17.769 --> 00:20:20.390
things that like kind of gets the best of you.

00:20:20.410 --> 00:20:22.529
You see all these wonderful creators getting

00:20:22.529 --> 00:20:25.569
surgery to get that loose skin. And it's something

00:20:25.569 --> 00:20:27.829
that is just not accessible to me, not affordable

00:20:27.829 --> 00:20:30.849
for me. And I just have to live with it for now

00:20:30.849 --> 00:20:34.269
anyways. And it's one of those things where it's

00:20:34.269 --> 00:20:37.000
all you look at. It is. And, like, everyone's

00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:39.519
doing it. And, like, good for them. It's not

00:20:39.519 --> 00:20:42.380
that it's not an option. They did tell us, like,

00:20:42.420 --> 00:20:44.700
after two years you could consider skin removal.

00:20:44.920 --> 00:20:47.859
But to your point, shit's pricey. Like, we're

00:20:47.859 --> 00:20:51.180
talking $10 ,000 to $20 ,000 that I just, part

00:20:51.180 --> 00:20:53.859
of me goes, for loose skin. And it looks so painful.

00:20:53.960 --> 00:20:57.799
Everybody you see in recovery looks so miserable.

00:20:59.579 --> 00:21:02.380
Because it's not easy. Like, bypass surgery,

00:21:02.579 --> 00:21:05.079
we've had a whole episode on. minimal minimal

00:21:05.079 --> 00:21:08.200
kind of pain that I you know to an extent but

00:21:08.200 --> 00:21:11.380
skin removal surgery they do multiple areas at

00:21:11.380 --> 00:21:13.220
the same time you have to have drains inserted

00:21:13.220 --> 00:21:16.559
massages too you can't really lift your arms

00:21:16.559 --> 00:21:19.420
and like so there's part of me that like yeah

00:21:19.420 --> 00:21:21.440
now I look at myself though and I go cool I have

00:21:21.440 --> 00:21:23.960
a gut and like I can't think like that like that's

00:21:23.960 --> 00:21:26.119
loose skin but I look at it and go oh I look

00:21:26.119 --> 00:21:29.140
so disgusting in these jeans um I don't know

00:21:29.140 --> 00:21:32.000
if this is the case for you but what I like and

00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:34.289
I hate this voice in my head but what I've kind

00:21:34.289 --> 00:21:36.130
of started struggling with is this voice that

00:21:36.130 --> 00:21:38.630
says well you haven't really lost that much weight

00:21:38.630 --> 00:21:40.410
or like if people saw you today they wouldn't

00:21:40.410 --> 00:21:42.509
think you were skinny so maybe you should stop

00:21:42.509 --> 00:21:44.430
talking about it because it's crazy because you

00:21:44.430 --> 00:21:47.990
have yeah like I mean we've lost a person yeah

00:21:47.990 --> 00:21:51.750
160 plus pounds is a considerable amount but

00:21:51.750 --> 00:21:54.849
when you're this far out like in your first year

00:21:54.849 --> 00:21:56.589
and it's not for everyone like I know that you

00:21:56.589 --> 00:21:58.710
I suffer from this in my first year and lots

00:21:58.710 --> 00:22:01.380
do but there was almost it was easier almost

00:22:01.380 --> 00:22:03.599
to convince myself to celebrate this and be like,

00:22:03.660 --> 00:22:06.039
holy shit, like, fuck that noise. Like, look

00:22:06.039 --> 00:22:09.480
how great I look. And now that I'm at the lowest

00:22:09.480 --> 00:22:12.579
I've been weight wise, I just find it really

00:22:12.579 --> 00:22:14.500
hard to celebrate it because the voice in my

00:22:14.500 --> 00:22:16.980
head says, well, if people don't know your story,

00:22:17.079 --> 00:22:18.200
they would look at you and think you're still

00:22:18.200 --> 00:22:20.700
overweight. And it's like, yeah, cool. Maybe

00:22:20.700 --> 00:22:23.109
I should just like, shut up. I experienced that

00:22:23.109 --> 00:22:25.849
with my apron belly really bad because, um, like

00:22:25.849 --> 00:22:29.170
the things I could fit into and what I, what

00:22:29.170 --> 00:22:32.390
I feel would look flattering on me if I didn't

00:22:32.390 --> 00:22:34.190
have it are two different things. And there's

00:22:34.190 --> 00:22:36.210
just certain things I'll avoid wearing because

00:22:36.210 --> 00:22:39.750
of the way it is. Like I have to wear or feel

00:22:39.750 --> 00:22:42.089
the need to wear like Spanx with it and things

00:22:42.089 --> 00:22:45.779
to like hold it. And then I think, oh, I'd be

00:22:45.779 --> 00:22:48.900
another five pounds if this thing was gone off

00:22:48.900 --> 00:22:51.019
of me. It almost feels like a limb I wish I didn't

00:22:51.019 --> 00:22:54.619
have, to be honest. Like, so, yeah, I can relate

00:22:54.619 --> 00:22:58.240
to that. feeling of uh to i i allow it to limit

00:22:58.240 --> 00:23:00.900
myself to be honest i wish i didn't care so much

00:23:00.900 --> 00:23:03.559
but uh the reality is you thought all this weight

00:23:03.559 --> 00:23:05.160
would come off and you wouldn't care anymore

00:23:05.160 --> 00:23:07.740
because you've got this wonderful body that you've

00:23:07.740 --> 00:23:10.140
been like begging for and it is wonderful and

00:23:10.140 --> 00:23:12.240
i can do so many more things with it but then

00:23:12.240 --> 00:23:16.059
i also uh look i still pick it apart the way

00:23:16.059 --> 00:23:19.710
i did prior to surgery Yeah. And I I get angry

00:23:19.710 --> 00:23:21.710
some days because I'm like, fuck, I've lost a

00:23:21.710 --> 00:23:24.150
lot of weight and I just want to, you know, feel

00:23:24.150 --> 00:23:26.750
fucking smoking hot and awesome. But I'll put

00:23:26.750 --> 00:23:29.109
jeans on that like do fit me and they button

00:23:29.109 --> 00:23:31.130
up and I'll look in the mirror and go, yeah,

00:23:31.230 --> 00:23:33.750
there's that goddamn hanging belly, though, which

00:23:33.750 --> 00:23:36.569
like is loose skin. And I resent it and I get

00:23:36.569 --> 00:23:38.970
really fucking angry about it. And I'm like,

00:23:39.049 --> 00:23:42.680
come on. Like, but then I remind myself. There

00:23:42.680 --> 00:23:44.640
was a point in time that you said you'd celebrate

00:23:44.640 --> 00:23:47.380
the fuck out of having loose skin, that you would

00:23:47.380 --> 00:23:51.720
just proudly wear it because you've never had

00:23:51.720 --> 00:23:55.779
loose skin. And it's just so mentally hard. The

00:23:55.779 --> 00:23:58.079
face is starting to bug me because it's like,

00:23:58.200 --> 00:24:01.460
I will tell Steph, we'll be on podcast. Do I

00:24:01.460 --> 00:24:05.920
have a jowl? Do I have jowls? And I will ask

00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:07.720
her on a weekly basis, like, are these jowls?

00:24:07.740 --> 00:24:10.250
Is this what this is? Or I'll be like, am I,

00:24:10.250 --> 00:24:12.509
are my eyes going crooked now? Am I like, is

00:24:12.509 --> 00:24:16.789
my face like, but it's just, I wish that I didn't

00:24:16.789 --> 00:24:19.769
care. I think a large part is like, I'm also

00:24:19.769 --> 00:24:22.589
single and trying to get back into dating. And

00:24:22.589 --> 00:24:24.569
boy, my poor therapist is really earning her

00:24:24.569 --> 00:24:27.269
a living. But I was like, I feel like I have

00:24:27.269 --> 00:24:29.009
to tell everybody my story before they meet me

00:24:29.009 --> 00:24:30.329
or they're not going to be impressed with how

00:24:30.329 --> 00:24:32.710
I look. And that's so fucked up to think. That's

00:24:32.710 --> 00:24:35.849
so fucked up to think. Yeah, it is. And I'm,

00:24:35.849 --> 00:24:40.200
I'm. trying to figure out from like from the

00:24:40.200 --> 00:24:44.319
six month point that's what I'm trying to I'll

00:24:44.319 --> 00:24:45.839
say almost get ahead of but I don't even know

00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:47.579
if it's possible because I Hannah I've talked

00:24:47.579 --> 00:24:50.099
about like the skin the loose skin surgery um

00:24:50.099 --> 00:24:52.339
and I said for me I don't think I would do it

00:24:52.339 --> 00:24:54.640
only because I'm so chicken and because everybody

00:24:54.640 --> 00:24:58.180
looks like they're in so much pain afterwards

00:24:58.180 --> 00:25:02.240
um so I'm trying to like tell constantly tell

00:25:02.240 --> 00:25:06.049
myself now over and over again it's part of your

00:25:06.049 --> 00:25:08.329
journey. It shows how far you've come. It shows

00:25:08.329 --> 00:25:10.430
what you did. It shows the effort you put in.

00:25:10.490 --> 00:25:12.769
It's like, be proud of it. And I'm trying to

00:25:12.769 --> 00:25:16.210
like constantly get this in my head because I'm

00:25:16.210 --> 00:25:18.210
thinking, okay, if I say this to myself every

00:25:18.210 --> 00:25:21.430
day, will I maybe actually believe it by the

00:25:21.430 --> 00:25:24.609
time I get there? Because it's already starting.

00:25:24.710 --> 00:25:26.630
Like, and I know I have areas that are going

00:25:26.630 --> 00:25:28.890
to be bad. Like, no, my arms are going to be

00:25:28.890 --> 00:25:30.470
bad. They've always been bad. I don't, Hannah

00:25:30.470 --> 00:25:32.730
knows, I don't wear t -shirts in public. I don't

00:25:32.730 --> 00:25:36.049
really. I don't, I maybe went out once last year

00:25:36.049 --> 00:25:38.309
in a t -shirt. It'll be 40 degrees. I'm not in

00:25:38.309 --> 00:25:42.049
a t -shirt. I don't, they're bad. My thighs have

00:25:42.049 --> 00:25:43.910
always been big. I'm starting to get like loose

00:25:43.910 --> 00:25:45.769
skin on my inner thighs already. Like little

00:25:45.769 --> 00:25:50.109
wrinkles. Oh, the wrinkles are there. I got those.

00:25:50.369 --> 00:25:53.109
And so like, I don't, I don't wear shorts. I

00:25:53.109 --> 00:25:55.509
don't own a pair of shorts. And my goal for the

00:25:55.509 --> 00:25:58.259
last year had been. In the summer when it's 40

00:25:58.259 --> 00:26:00.740
degrees out, I don't want to be in jeans. I don't

00:26:00.740 --> 00:26:03.019
want to – I want to wear shorts. But now I'm

00:26:03.019 --> 00:26:05.400
like, oh, shit, here go the thighs. Am I still

00:26:05.400 --> 00:26:07.900
going to wear shorts? And I know like my lower

00:26:07.900 --> 00:26:10.740
below my belly button is always a problem area

00:26:10.740 --> 00:26:12.920
for me. I know I'm going to have the apron belly

00:26:12.920 --> 00:26:16.619
there too. So I'm trying to get ahead of it mentally.

00:26:17.059 --> 00:26:20.089
But we're so – I think the hard part, too, is

00:26:20.089 --> 00:26:22.450
we're so used to already focusing on those areas

00:26:22.450 --> 00:26:25.410
before surgery. We do have it in our mind that,

00:26:25.470 --> 00:26:26.890
yeah, I'm going to crush this surgery. I'm going

00:26:26.890 --> 00:26:28.170
to lose the weight. I'm going to have the body

00:26:28.170 --> 00:26:30.150
I've always wanted. I'm going to be so happy.

00:26:30.190 --> 00:26:33.309
I'm going to feel so great. But we can't stop

00:26:33.309 --> 00:26:35.369
fixating on these areas. And then when the loose

00:26:35.369 --> 00:26:39.329
skin sets in, it just brings all of those negative

00:26:39.329 --> 00:26:41.049
comments that we've told ourselves for years

00:26:41.049 --> 00:26:46.009
in the mirror back. And that's kind of my worry.

00:26:46.619 --> 00:26:51.500
too, is how at six months out, can I get ahead

00:26:51.500 --> 00:26:53.859
of it? Can I do anything now? I'm doing strength

00:26:53.859 --> 00:26:55.500
training. I'm lifting weights. I'm trying to

00:26:55.500 --> 00:26:57.799
do the things they say to do. Take it, Hannah.

00:26:58.319 --> 00:27:00.660
Okay, old Hannah's not doing any strength training.

00:27:01.339 --> 00:27:03.319
She's going to start. I brought this on myself.

00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:06.680
I'm doing vitamins. I'm doing protein. I'm trying

00:27:06.680 --> 00:27:11.500
to do all the things, but I worry that same thing.

00:27:11.559 --> 00:27:14.039
Once I get to that further out, that kind of

00:27:14.039 --> 00:27:16.619
magic's going to be gone. I'm still going to

00:27:16.619 --> 00:27:18.960
look at myself and go, okay, you lost weight,

00:27:19.059 --> 00:27:23.740
but you still look like crap here, here, and

00:27:23.740 --> 00:27:26.279
here. I read this thing recently that was talking

00:27:26.279 --> 00:27:29.279
about just like as human beings, we like naturally

00:27:29.279 --> 00:27:31.940
always want to go into like almost like self

00:27:31.940 --> 00:27:34.279
-improvement mode or things can always be better

00:27:34.279 --> 00:27:37.500
than your current state. Yeah. And it made me

00:27:37.500 --> 00:27:39.400
feel a little bit better to be like, you know

00:27:39.400 --> 00:27:42.460
what, even if I had the body and I will say I

00:27:42.460 --> 00:27:46.440
do. a person in my life who had surgery and she,

00:27:46.500 --> 00:27:48.819
she went to Dominican Republic. She had every

00:27:48.819 --> 00:27:51.039
single surgery you can think of. She had every

00:27:51.039 --> 00:27:53.700
kind of lift tuck that you can think of. And

00:27:53.700 --> 00:27:56.220
there are still things to this day she would

00:27:56.220 --> 00:27:58.799
change or have done differently or still feel

00:27:58.799 --> 00:28:01.680
she needs. So I don't know if it ever stops.

00:28:01.880 --> 00:28:03.960
And I think that there's a little bit of comfort

00:28:03.960 --> 00:28:07.359
to be had in that, that it may not stop. Even

00:28:07.359 --> 00:28:10.980
if you give yourself, I think. I'm never against

00:28:10.980 --> 00:28:13.380
surgery. You, I, cause I likely will have it

00:28:13.380 --> 00:28:15.880
one day for myself. I'm hopeful that one day

00:28:15.880 --> 00:28:18.680
I'll have that for myself, but I don't, I need

00:28:18.680 --> 00:28:21.039
to accept too, that that might not bring me the

00:28:21.039 --> 00:28:23.960
happiness on the other side that I think it's

00:28:23.960 --> 00:28:26.200
going to bring me. Right. Right. Do you know,

00:28:26.259 --> 00:28:29.839
do you fear that you would end up not like, I'm

00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:31.359
not shaming your friend, but do you fear that

00:28:31.359 --> 00:28:33.920
you, this could turn into that slippery slope?

00:28:34.059 --> 00:28:35.900
Cause they always say after surgery, like watch

00:28:35.900 --> 00:28:38.339
for transfer addiction. You never think about

00:28:38.339 --> 00:28:40.980
it in terms of cosmetic. uh things but do you

00:28:40.980 --> 00:28:43.819
worry that because now i'm scared of that but

00:28:43.819 --> 00:28:46.119
um that you'd start and then be like okay that's

00:28:46.119 --> 00:28:49.599
it i have to keep going Yes, 100%. I've seen

00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:53.740
it. And I think that does scare me. It absolutely

00:28:53.740 --> 00:28:57.000
scares me to think that you just don't know when

00:28:57.000 --> 00:28:58.759
to stop. There's always something now that I

00:28:58.759 --> 00:29:00.640
know I can just pay to get something fixed. It

00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:03.420
becomes almost like, you know, that Amazon overnight

00:29:03.420 --> 00:29:06.799
shipping. I'll just get my apron belly removed.

00:29:08.380 --> 00:29:11.599
Do you ever do you see a world where like so

00:29:11.599 --> 00:29:13.359
that that's my fear, too, is once we start, we

00:29:13.359 --> 00:29:15.579
don't stop. But the more I think about it, the

00:29:15.579 --> 00:29:18.269
more I think. The belly would be the area that

00:29:18.269 --> 00:29:21.450
needs to go because it physically just stands

00:29:21.450 --> 00:29:23.970
out so much. Like I do have loose skin on my

00:29:23.970 --> 00:29:27.529
thighs and my arms, but I've had people say,

00:29:27.650 --> 00:29:29.890
and I'm starting to come around on, oh, it's

00:29:29.890 --> 00:29:33.170
actually not as bad as you think it is. But the

00:29:33.170 --> 00:29:35.529
belly I think is like, I just can't. Like that's

00:29:35.529 --> 00:29:38.509
so much excess weight hanging there that just

00:29:38.509 --> 00:29:41.069
gets in the way. Do you think you could do a

00:29:41.069 --> 00:29:42.829
one and done? Like I'm just going to do the belly

00:29:42.829 --> 00:29:45.109
and then I'll learn to live with the rest of

00:29:45.109 --> 00:29:47.960
the body. I very much thought that for myself.

00:29:48.059 --> 00:29:50.599
I think I'm going to just do the belly. I also

00:29:50.599 --> 00:29:52.740
don't have children yet. So it's a conversation

00:29:52.740 --> 00:29:56.359
of do you do that now or do you wait? Right.

00:29:56.500 --> 00:29:59.619
So I very much I'm leaning towards waiting for

00:29:59.619 --> 00:30:02.759
that reason as well. My arms do hang as well.

00:30:02.819 --> 00:30:06.559
But I something that I've kind of I don't hate

00:30:06.559 --> 00:30:08.380
it about myself. You know, I feel like I could

00:30:08.380 --> 00:30:11.980
live with it. So it may be an area I leave. And

00:30:11.980 --> 00:30:14.910
I think. Honestly, if it were to be between my

00:30:14.910 --> 00:30:16.609
arms or my inner thighs, it would be my inner

00:30:16.609 --> 00:30:18.849
thighs because they are much, there are areas

00:30:18.849 --> 00:30:21.410
that I didn't think would be a problem that I

00:30:21.410 --> 00:30:25.019
dislike much more than others. My butt. My butt's

00:30:25.019 --> 00:30:27.099
great, by the way. I got a great butt for those

00:30:27.099 --> 00:30:29.619
who are applying to date me. Steph said, send

00:30:29.619 --> 00:30:33.140
your resumes in. So keep sending them in. But

00:30:33.140 --> 00:30:35.740
it's like I kind of looked at it and was like,

00:30:35.799 --> 00:30:38.259
oh, on the side of my thigh, there's there's

00:30:38.259 --> 00:30:39.980
some loose skin coming, which is interesting.

00:30:40.180 --> 00:30:42.599
My face is starting to drive me fucking nuts,

00:30:42.740 --> 00:30:44.539
which is hilarious because everyone looks at

00:30:44.539 --> 00:30:46.240
it and goes, what are you talking about? But

00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:49.599
I was used to a fat, swollen face where like,

00:30:49.640 --> 00:30:52.460
yes, I had double chins like this, but. Everything

00:30:52.460 --> 00:30:54.900
was good. And now I'm like, oh, God. Oh, God.

00:30:55.039 --> 00:30:57.799
Oh, no. Like, I'm just, you know, oh, no. But

00:30:57.799 --> 00:31:00.279
that's the thing. We're so used to being so critical

00:31:00.279 --> 00:31:02.299
of ourselves, right? Don't want to touch my face.

00:31:02.339 --> 00:31:04.599
Yeah. At all. And we're so used to looking at

00:31:04.599 --> 00:31:07.420
ourselves in the mirror and just picking ourselves

00:31:07.420 --> 00:31:11.480
apart and being like, this is crap. This is crap.

00:31:11.579 --> 00:31:15.240
This sucks. This is too bad. It's so hard to

00:31:15.240 --> 00:31:18.910
get out of that mental. And even like Hannah,

00:31:18.930 --> 00:31:22.069
your face is so different. It's very different.

00:31:23.150 --> 00:31:25.049
I feel like my face has changed a little bit.

00:31:25.230 --> 00:31:28.470
Oh no. Don't feel like my face is, like everybody

00:31:28.470 --> 00:31:31.369
always says your face changed so drastically.

00:31:31.990 --> 00:31:34.529
I feel like mine's changed a bit. But I don't

00:31:34.529 --> 00:31:37.750
feel like I've had as drastic of a face. Two

00:31:37.750 --> 00:31:40.130
years. You got to give it time. Because even

00:31:40.130 --> 00:31:42.789
my mom and like God bless her, but I would share

00:31:42.789 --> 00:31:44.869
face photos and be like, whoa, look at my face.

00:31:44.930 --> 00:31:46.329
She goes, that's the same face. And I was like,

00:31:46.349 --> 00:31:48.910
what? fuck you. Like, don't say that. I was like,

00:31:48.950 --> 00:31:50.529
what do you mean? She's like, no, your face is

00:31:50.529 --> 00:31:52.970
your face. And I was like, mom, but like, you

00:31:52.970 --> 00:31:55.210
need to give it time. Cause like you are narrowing

00:31:55.210 --> 00:31:57.589
in, especially in like your workout photos. And

00:31:57.589 --> 00:31:59.990
you're like, I think the hard thing too, is when

00:31:59.990 --> 00:32:02.250
you're in this perspective, sure. I can see my

00:32:02.250 --> 00:32:04.150
old face when we're this close to the screen.

00:32:04.289 --> 00:32:06.269
But when you take your workout photos, like you

00:32:06.269 --> 00:32:09.470
are like, you are narrowing in changes, but you

00:32:09.470 --> 00:32:11.789
got to give it two years. The best advice I had

00:32:11.789 --> 00:32:15.250
was. I have a cleaner that comes every now and

00:32:15.250 --> 00:32:16.650
then because, you know, the dog and all that

00:32:16.650 --> 00:32:20.349
jazz. But she had bariatric surgery and she said,

00:32:20.490 --> 00:32:22.369
oh, I didn't mean to pry, but I saw that you

00:32:22.369 --> 00:32:25.369
had the calendar that you're counting down for

00:32:25.369 --> 00:32:27.390
surgery on your fridge. And I was like, well,

00:32:27.430 --> 00:32:29.190
it's not prying. It's taped to the front of my

00:32:29.190 --> 00:32:31.650
fridge. She's like, I had it too five years ago.

00:32:31.690 --> 00:32:33.569
And I was like, oh, my God. you look amazing.

00:32:33.750 --> 00:32:35.450
She said, Oh, blah, blah, blah. And she said,

00:32:35.470 --> 00:32:37.609
best advice I can give you is watch your hands.

00:32:37.769 --> 00:32:40.710
And I said, watch my hands. So you'll start to

00:32:40.710 --> 00:32:42.970
notice the weight loss in your hands. It's going

00:32:42.970 --> 00:32:45.650
to be a very surreal moment, but you'll notice

00:32:45.650 --> 00:32:49.210
it there. And I remember thinking on about, and

00:32:49.210 --> 00:32:51.549
then there was a day and it was not during my

00:32:51.549 --> 00:32:54.309
first year. It was probably into like a year

00:32:54.309 --> 00:32:58.309
and a half that I looked down and went, they're

00:32:58.309 --> 00:33:01.069
sausage fingers. Like they're, they're thin.

00:33:01.660 --> 00:33:04.380
The day that I could put my – I haven't worn

00:33:04.380 --> 00:33:07.599
– so my engagement ring sat on the ring holder

00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:12.339
for four years. Whoa. Because I couldn't put

00:33:12.339 --> 00:33:14.160
it – I was so swollen. I would wake up swollen,

00:33:14.259 --> 00:33:16.059
so I couldn't wear it to bed. And then it would

00:33:16.059 --> 00:33:17.539
take forever during the day for the swelling

00:33:17.539 --> 00:33:20.259
to go down to then put it on. I'd wear it for

00:33:20.259 --> 00:33:22.259
like half an hour, and then I'd have to take

00:33:22.259 --> 00:33:25.660
it off. The day that I could put this back on

00:33:25.660 --> 00:33:28.220
and wear all my rings and feel like – and the

00:33:28.220 --> 00:33:30.819
fact that they move, like I can pull them off.

00:33:31.470 --> 00:33:33.529
I now have to get it tightened. I'm not going

00:33:33.529 --> 00:33:38.029
to yet. But that to me was bigger than the face,

00:33:38.230 --> 00:33:41.849
bigger than the clothing. The fact that I have

00:33:41.849 --> 00:33:44.750
to now be careful that my rings don't fall off

00:33:44.750 --> 00:33:50.950
was like my major. That was a massive thing.

00:33:50.950 --> 00:33:53.269
So watch your hands, guys, and necklaces. Watch

00:33:53.269 --> 00:33:55.730
your hands and necklaces. It's weird, but you

00:33:55.730 --> 00:33:57.230
just start to notice like, oh, a necklace is

00:33:57.230 --> 00:33:59.980
supposed to have room. Fuck. All right. Oh my

00:33:59.980 --> 00:34:02.039
gosh. The amount of times I said no to a necklace

00:34:02.039 --> 00:34:03.779
because it wouldn't fit around my neck at the

00:34:03.779 --> 00:34:06.240
time. And that goes to say with your measurements

00:34:06.240 --> 00:34:08.320
too, like you don't realize unless you're taking

00:34:08.320 --> 00:34:11.320
them how. how many inches you're losing, but

00:34:11.320 --> 00:34:14.320
my rings, I was a ring girl before and now none

00:34:14.320 --> 00:34:16.119
of them fit me, but I've kept them just for the

00:34:16.119 --> 00:34:18.539
purpose of every so often, like to put them on

00:34:18.539 --> 00:34:20.519
and just realize how loose they are. Like it

00:34:20.519 --> 00:34:23.940
is a good reminder. So I've kept a lot of the

00:34:23.940 --> 00:34:26.780
rings I used to wear and I got engaged last year

00:34:26.780 --> 00:34:30.199
and I already have a tightener on my engagement

00:34:30.199 --> 00:34:31.980
ring, but it fit me perfectly at the time of

00:34:31.980 --> 00:34:35.760
my engagement last year. Incredible. I think

00:34:35.760 --> 00:34:37.320
that's the stuff that's important, right? Like

00:34:37.320 --> 00:34:39.000
we talk about non -scale victories, which are

00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:41.300
one thing, but I think when we talk about like

00:34:41.300 --> 00:34:44.360
body dysmorphia, not seeing the changes and not

00:34:44.360 --> 00:34:46.800
seeing what's happening, having physical things

00:34:46.800 --> 00:34:49.860
like rings that you can actually pull on and

00:34:49.860 --> 00:34:53.139
off, having physical reminders of things like

00:34:53.139 --> 00:34:57.260
that to reinforce the positives. It reminds me

00:34:57.260 --> 00:34:59.900
of like, not in the word, I don't mean this to,

00:34:59.980 --> 00:35:03.300
phantom limb syndrome. When people have to have

00:35:03.300 --> 00:35:05.719
an amputation, what they tell them to do is like

00:35:05.719 --> 00:35:08.579
put the mirror there or like snap yourself out

00:35:08.579 --> 00:35:11.579
of it by like hitting the limb. And I'm not trying

00:35:11.579 --> 00:35:13.260
to say that we went through anything that they

00:35:13.260 --> 00:35:15.000
went through, but it's almost like you have to

00:35:15.000 --> 00:35:17.739
have something that hits you and snaps you out

00:35:17.739 --> 00:35:20.340
of this because dysmorphia is not a 10 minute

00:35:20.340 --> 00:35:23.639
thing. You can be in this for. weeks you can

00:35:23.639 --> 00:35:26.539
just hate how you look be really upset so you

00:35:26.539 --> 00:35:29.440
almost need to have the ring the old pair of

00:35:29.440 --> 00:35:32.460
jeans the old like something that physically

00:35:32.460 --> 00:35:37.000
hits you out of this for me it's photos and that's

00:35:37.000 --> 00:35:39.940
why I continuously look at the same old photos

00:35:39.940 --> 00:35:44.300
and I go holy shit like you have like there's

00:35:44.300 --> 00:35:46.059
something I can't stand in a mirror and snap

00:35:46.059 --> 00:35:49.059
myself out of this at all but I can pull up a

00:35:49.059 --> 00:35:51.610
photo And then look at another photo and go,

00:35:51.710 --> 00:35:55.449
whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, like this is snapping

00:35:55.449 --> 00:35:58.449
me out of this more. But I describe it as that,

00:35:58.510 --> 00:36:00.070
like a phantom limb thing. Like what is going

00:36:00.070 --> 00:36:03.190
to be your physically hit that and see that there's

00:36:03.190 --> 00:36:06.329
nothing there to pull you and snap you out of

00:36:06.329 --> 00:36:09.510
this. Yeah, absolutely. I actually had on my

00:36:09.510 --> 00:36:11.750
calendar for my first year post -op, like an

00:36:11.750 --> 00:36:14.170
automatic reminder on my phone that reminded

00:36:14.170 --> 00:36:16.670
me to take photos because otherwise it was just

00:36:16.670 --> 00:36:18.469
something that didn't come naturally to me. And

00:36:18.469 --> 00:36:21.409
as bigger people, we just never took photos of

00:36:21.409 --> 00:36:23.070
ourselves. We were always behind the camera.

00:36:23.489 --> 00:36:27.489
So I forced myself to have like that every month

00:36:27.489 --> 00:36:29.690
I took a photo. So for my first year post -op,

00:36:29.750 --> 00:36:32.030
I have a photo every month in like a similar

00:36:32.030 --> 00:36:35.409
pose. I think a lot of us do that. But those

00:36:35.409 --> 00:36:38.090
are huge. And I think though what I didn't realize

00:36:38.090 --> 00:36:40.949
is I thought like, I feel like it's very naive

00:36:40.949 --> 00:36:42.590
to think, but you think one year post -op, I'm

00:36:42.590 --> 00:36:44.570
going to be exactly where I thought I would be.

00:36:44.570 --> 00:36:49.309
I thought that. Yeah. I thought that. I'm now

00:36:49.309 --> 00:36:51.269
coming to the realization. One year post -op,

00:36:51.309 --> 00:36:52.809
that's not the mark you're going for. I think

00:36:52.809 --> 00:36:54.949
it was about, I didn't hit what I would think

00:36:54.949 --> 00:36:58.449
now is my maintenance, probably for like a year

00:36:58.449 --> 00:37:02.559
and six months. I was pretty close to the two

00:37:02.559 --> 00:37:05.280
-year mark and was like, oh, so I literally haven't

00:37:05.280 --> 00:37:07.599
gone up or down in a couple of months. I guess

00:37:07.599 --> 00:37:11.199
I've hit where I'm at maintenance -wise. I'd

00:37:11.199 --> 00:37:14.239
like to go a little, but that's fine. I have

00:37:14.239 --> 00:37:16.039
room to play with. 1 ,200 to 1 ,500 calories

00:37:16.039 --> 00:37:19.039
gives me room to just go 1 ,200 to 1 ,300 instead.

00:37:19.599 --> 00:37:21.559
And when you start weight training. Yeah, okay,

00:37:21.659 --> 00:37:22.960
so I haven't been doing that and I really need

00:37:22.960 --> 00:37:24.880
to do that. And that's a whole thing. I think

00:37:24.880 --> 00:37:26.980
once I start weight training and I get back into

00:37:26.980 --> 00:37:29.829
a very consistent. pattern will be fine. But

00:37:29.829 --> 00:37:32.449
yeah, you don't hit it your first year. I'm seeing

00:37:32.449 --> 00:37:35.010
more and more research saying buckle up three

00:37:35.010 --> 00:37:38.269
years. That's when you get where you actually

00:37:38.269 --> 00:37:40.969
want to go. And that seems pretty on par like

00:37:40.969 --> 00:37:42.750
to to their credit with a lot of influencers

00:37:42.750 --> 00:37:45.650
who have shown their journey. They did not hit

00:37:45.650 --> 00:37:47.369
that journey in their first or second year. But

00:37:47.369 --> 00:37:49.590
I think that goes back to like all of this right

00:37:49.590 --> 00:37:52.650
is setting. We're also not good at setting realistic

00:37:52.650 --> 00:37:55.809
expectations of ourselves because we're so hard

00:37:55.809 --> 00:37:57.989
on ourselves. And so I've been saying to Hannah,

00:37:58.679 --> 00:38:02.480
I turned 40 at the end of this month and I don't

00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:05.800
know why, but I set myself a goal that on my

00:38:05.800 --> 00:38:07.820
40th birthday, I want to be down a hundred pounds.

00:38:08.679 --> 00:38:11.840
Why I set this for myself, I have no idea because

00:38:11.840 --> 00:38:13.820
I said it like at the start of surgery when I

00:38:13.820 --> 00:38:16.380
had no idea what was realistic. I had no idea

00:38:16.380 --> 00:38:18.300
what my weight loss was going to be like. I had

00:38:18.300 --> 00:38:20.860
no idea what to expect, but I got this in my

00:38:20.860 --> 00:38:26.840
head. I'm close. I'm at 92. I've got three. Just

00:38:26.840 --> 00:38:29.980
under three weeks. Am I going to hit it? Probably

00:38:29.980 --> 00:38:33.800
not. Am I going to be bummed? Yeah. But should

00:38:33.800 --> 00:38:38.719
I be bummed? No. Because even now, like 92 pounds

00:38:38.719 --> 00:38:42.139
in six months, I'm happy with it. Yeah. I should

00:38:42.139 --> 00:38:45.599
be phenomenally happy with it. But we get these

00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:49.179
unrealistic expectations that we put on ourselves

00:38:49.179 --> 00:38:52.639
and then we beat ourselves up to no end when

00:38:52.639 --> 00:38:54.659
we don't hit it or we don't like the outcome

00:38:54.659 --> 00:38:57.300
or we don't like what we see. That was based

00:38:57.300 --> 00:39:02.579
on no facts whatsoever. Don't factor that in.

00:39:02.780 --> 00:39:05.760
No, and that's why they don't even ask you. This

00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:08.579
is going to happen. Our clinic doesn't say, and

00:39:08.579 --> 00:39:10.139
what's that goal weight that you're trying to

00:39:10.139 --> 00:39:12.159
get? Like they mentioned, do you have a goal

00:39:12.159 --> 00:39:13.679
weight? And I was like, I do. And they were like,

00:39:13.679 --> 00:39:15.820
mm -hmm. And I was like, yeah, I just picked

00:39:15.820 --> 00:39:18.460
a random fucking number out of thin air. There's

00:39:18.460 --> 00:39:21.980
no guidance. There's no rhyme or reason as to

00:39:21.980 --> 00:39:25.280
why. But again, it goes back to us picking ourselves

00:39:25.280 --> 00:39:28.559
apart. not being happy with where we are ever,

00:39:28.659 --> 00:39:32.099
always wanting something more or something different.

00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:36.340
And I think out of this whole journey, that's

00:39:36.340 --> 00:39:39.179
I think been the hardest mental shift for me

00:39:39.179 --> 00:39:42.099
is accepting where I am, accepting what I've

00:39:42.099 --> 00:39:44.920
done and being, being happy about it in the moment.

00:39:45.860 --> 00:39:49.079
Yeah. Not always looking to, okay, but now what?

00:39:49.199 --> 00:39:54.260
Okay. So I hit this, but now. I need to do this.

00:39:54.260 --> 00:39:58.539
But now that's not enough. Like this constant

00:39:58.539 --> 00:40:02.039
drive and need for better. Yeah. And this far

00:40:02.039 --> 00:40:04.960
out for me, like now that I'm like two years

00:40:04.960 --> 00:40:06.880
out and I don't know if Hannah's had this happen

00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:09.860
at all. Like I have had family members specifically

00:40:09.860 --> 00:40:13.250
who have been like. I remember I was having a

00:40:13.250 --> 00:40:16.190
conversation and they were like, well, what was

00:40:16.190 --> 00:40:18.469
the lowest weight that your doctor gave you?

00:40:18.590 --> 00:40:20.550
So my doctor's team was they wanted me to get

00:40:20.550 --> 00:40:23.210
to 165. That was what they thought would be a

00:40:23.210 --> 00:40:26.909
healthy weight for me as a 5 '2 female. That's

00:40:26.909 --> 00:40:30.429
what my program wanted me to strive towards or

00:40:30.429 --> 00:40:34.690
thought I would get to. And it's funny, I'm talking

00:40:34.690 --> 00:40:36.070
to this family member and they're like, that

00:40:36.070 --> 00:40:38.849
seems kind of high. And I'm like, that just ruined

00:40:38.849 --> 00:40:42.829
everything. Thanks so much for that. Yeah. Not

00:40:42.829 --> 00:40:45.449
helpful or constructive at all. And also your

00:40:45.449 --> 00:40:47.929
opinion versus my doctor. Like, why should I

00:40:47.929 --> 00:40:51.289
care? Exactly. And that's the thing, like nobody

00:40:51.289 --> 00:40:53.289
knows weight. And I think that's why picking

00:40:53.289 --> 00:40:55.969
an arbitrary number before surgery makes no sense

00:40:55.969 --> 00:40:58.849
because you, it has nothing to do with the weight

00:40:58.849 --> 00:41:00.829
you hold. It's the frame you have, the shape,

00:41:00.829 --> 00:41:03.449
the size. I go through the same thing. I text

00:41:03.449 --> 00:41:06.190
Steph. Comparison is a thief of joy, man. It

00:41:06.190 --> 00:41:08.469
drives you nuts. But I will text Steph all the

00:41:08.469 --> 00:41:10.969
time and be like, Jesus, mother aging Christ.

00:41:11.190 --> 00:41:14.429
Like I cannot break, like I can't get below 170

00:41:14.429 --> 00:41:16.230
and it's driving me nuts. And I was like, but

00:41:16.230 --> 00:41:18.670
I was below it before. And she'll be like, when

00:41:18.670 --> 00:41:21.429
you had pneumonia. And I was like, yeah, and

00:41:21.429 --> 00:41:24.389
it's true. When I was dying and I was in the

00:41:24.389 --> 00:41:28.019
hospital, I was like. I'm in the 160s, but I

00:41:28.019 --> 00:41:32.219
was like pneumonia. So I tell her like, I keep

00:41:32.219 --> 00:41:36.579
ping -ponging like 170, 171, 170, 171. Now, truthfully,

00:41:36.619 --> 00:41:38.059
I do need to start weight training and stuff.

00:41:38.119 --> 00:41:40.099
But I remember like I would do the same thing.

00:41:40.159 --> 00:41:42.179
I'd go, oh, that's so fat. Like, and that was

00:41:42.179 --> 00:41:43.780
such a horrible, like I would never say that

00:41:43.780 --> 00:41:46.239
to a human, but in my mind I'd go, oh my God,

00:41:46.260 --> 00:41:48.039
Hannah, that's nothing to brag about. 170 is

00:41:48.039 --> 00:41:52.079
fucking huge. However, I had, I wear a size eight

00:41:52.079 --> 00:41:54.480
now, which I was like, holy shit. I've never

00:41:54.480 --> 00:41:57.019
in my life. And I had a friend message me stuff.

00:41:57.059 --> 00:42:00.400
You'll know Katie from Vidyard. Like Katie could

00:42:00.400 --> 00:42:02.760
be slender, man. Like she is a gorgeous blonde

00:42:02.760 --> 00:42:05.559
haired slender. Like she just looks great. And

00:42:05.559 --> 00:42:07.559
she was like, Oh my God, Hannah, we wear the

00:42:07.559 --> 00:42:10.809
same size now. And I was like, what? Right. What?

00:42:11.369 --> 00:42:13.909
I was like, no, Katie. And you know what I did?

00:42:14.050 --> 00:42:15.989
I went, oh, Katie, like these jeans probably

00:42:15.989 --> 00:42:17.989
shouldn't fit me. Like they're, they're, they're

00:42:17.989 --> 00:42:20.710
too snug. Like I had, I made all these excuses

00:42:20.710 --> 00:42:23.349
that there's no way this like slender, gorgeous

00:42:23.349 --> 00:42:26.150
friend of mine and I were wearing the same size.

00:42:26.230 --> 00:42:28.750
And I felt like I had to say, oh, I'm too fat

00:42:28.750 --> 00:42:30.969
to be wearing this size. Don't worry about it.

00:42:31.050 --> 00:42:33.650
And then I was like, what is the matter with

00:42:33.650 --> 00:42:35.809
you? Like, she's first of all, closer to six

00:42:35.809 --> 00:42:39.719
feet than she is to my five, four. So like. yeah,

00:42:39.780 --> 00:42:41.840
there's, she probably could wear what I wear,

00:42:41.920 --> 00:42:43.820
but that's the, that's the thing that's crazy

00:42:43.820 --> 00:42:46.380
is I'm so obsessed with weight versus the sizes

00:42:46.380 --> 00:42:48.840
I'm wearing, how I'm looking in clothes. But

00:42:48.840 --> 00:42:51.219
yes, the same thought cast goes through my mind

00:42:51.219 --> 00:42:53.519
that that's not a weight that I should be proud

00:42:53.519 --> 00:42:56.320
to share. Yeah. I think with the body dysmorphia

00:42:56.320 --> 00:42:58.139
too, like you were sharing with the pant sizes,

00:42:58.139 --> 00:43:02.320
like you don't. realize that even visually you

00:43:02.320 --> 00:43:04.480
when you picture yourself in your own brain how

00:43:04.480 --> 00:43:08.099
you think of yourself like my grandma gave me

00:43:08.099 --> 00:43:10.760
some nightgowns that she had my grandma is like

00:43:10.760 --> 00:43:13.880
the thinnest person um you've probably ever seen

00:43:13.880 --> 00:43:16.099
she's been a Weight Watchers warrior since she

00:43:16.099 --> 00:43:19.300
was in her 60s bless her heart yeah bless her

00:43:19.300 --> 00:43:22.039
heart so she gave me these 90s and I'm like grandma

00:43:22.039 --> 00:43:24.000
these are like an extra small I'm not usually

00:43:24.000 --> 00:43:26.360
an extra small let me say that too I usually

00:43:26.360 --> 00:43:28.900
fit in about a medium but I was like, there is

00:43:28.900 --> 00:43:30.500
no way these are going to fit. And they, like,

00:43:30.500 --> 00:43:34.099
fit perfectly. Like, you know, I don't care what

00:43:34.099 --> 00:43:36.179
I wear to bed. My grandmother's 90s are perfect

00:43:36.179 --> 00:43:40.239
for me. Comfort. Comfort. But it's, yeah, and,

00:43:40.340 --> 00:43:43.260
like, it doesn't go away. So anyone who thinks,

00:43:43.320 --> 00:43:45.159
like, well, I'll be certain years out of surgery

00:43:45.159 --> 00:43:46.760
and it'll all, like, it doesn't. If anything,

00:43:47.059 --> 00:43:49.079
I want to go back to something Steph just said

00:43:49.079 --> 00:43:50.860
a couple of minutes ago because, Cass, I'm curious

00:43:50.860 --> 00:43:53.619
about your opinion on this here. So she's constantly

00:43:53.619 --> 00:43:55.280
saying, like, what's next, what's next, what's

00:43:55.280 --> 00:43:58.159
next. i felt like in my first year it was just

00:43:58.159 --> 00:44:00.480
so celebratory and there was new things all the

00:44:00.480 --> 00:44:02.639
time even in like the you know lead up to my

00:44:02.639 --> 00:44:06.940
second year and now i feel like oh who am i now

00:44:06.940 --> 00:44:09.139
without that major weight loss like i won't be

00:44:09.139 --> 00:44:11.300
dropping weight like crazy all the time and documenting

00:44:11.300 --> 00:44:13.199
that journey and like now where it's maintenance

00:44:13.199 --> 00:44:16.340
and there's kind of this weird like grief isn't

00:44:16.340 --> 00:44:18.280
the right word but there are days where i'm like

00:44:18.280 --> 00:44:21.599
oh so now what do i do with my life like Oh my

00:44:21.599 --> 00:44:23.360
gosh, I'm having thoughts of like, do I need

00:44:23.360 --> 00:44:25.940
to revamp my whole wardrobe? Because I feel like

00:44:25.940 --> 00:44:28.579
it doesn't suit. I've almost, you almost evolve

00:44:28.579 --> 00:44:31.139
into a new person. I do feel like my confidence

00:44:31.139 --> 00:44:32.980
has changed when I watch my TikToks from the

00:44:32.980 --> 00:44:35.539
beginning versus how I speak now. Like I speak

00:44:35.539 --> 00:44:37.280
with a lot more confidence and I didn't even

00:44:37.280 --> 00:44:39.559
notice it until my sister had brought it up.

00:44:40.019 --> 00:44:43.300
And I look at my wardrobe that I've slowly picked

00:44:43.300 --> 00:44:45.760
up to this point and I was kind of just going

00:44:45.760 --> 00:44:48.800
with what fit, what was on sale. Black, yeah,

00:44:48.920 --> 00:44:51.239
yep. And now I'm like, does this actually suit

00:44:51.239 --> 00:44:54.219
who I want to show up as in the world? You know,

00:44:54.239 --> 00:44:56.579
is this what I want for myself? Or do I want

00:44:56.579 --> 00:44:59.440
a new wardrobe? Like you want to like reinvent

00:44:59.440 --> 00:45:01.780
yourself almost. Yeah, because you're just like,

00:45:01.880 --> 00:45:05.980
I don't. Oh, you're on kind of autopilot in that

00:45:05.980 --> 00:45:07.920
first year and a bit where you're like, my life

00:45:07.920 --> 00:45:10.059
is this weight loss journey. And like that's

00:45:10.059 --> 00:45:12.460
and then when the weight stops coming off so

00:45:12.460 --> 00:45:15.659
quick, you're left going, oh, OK. okay, so who

00:45:15.659 --> 00:45:19.739
am I now? And like, what do I do now? And yeah,

00:45:19.860 --> 00:45:21.519
I'm in that same spot, right? Where I'm like,

00:45:21.539 --> 00:45:23.340
oh, was I just buying clothes because they fit

00:45:23.340 --> 00:45:25.460
versus like, what do I actually want to be known

00:45:25.460 --> 00:45:29.199
for? The confidence thing is amazing. I'm going

00:45:29.199 --> 00:45:30.739
to let the cat out of the bag on this one, but

00:45:30.739 --> 00:45:33.219
I have a new job. I'll tell people more about

00:45:33.219 --> 00:45:34.920
it later. That's why I've been so absent from

00:45:34.920 --> 00:45:37.679
Instagram. But like, I'm more confident everywhere,

00:45:37.860 --> 00:45:41.099
not just like the way I speak at work, how I

00:45:41.099 --> 00:45:46.170
hold myself, how I do things. Yeah, but we're

00:45:46.170 --> 00:45:47.949
now in this weird phase. I don't know how to

00:45:47.949 --> 00:45:49.630
describe it to people. You'll get there when

00:45:49.630 --> 00:45:51.210
you get there, folks, but you're in this weird

00:45:51.210 --> 00:45:55.789
post -rapid weight loss. Who the fuck am I? And

00:45:55.789 --> 00:45:59.670
what do I celebrate now? And some days it's a

00:45:59.670 --> 00:46:01.590
bit depressing, not in a bad way, but some days

00:46:01.590 --> 00:46:06.039
you're like, oh, that journey is over. okay and

00:46:06.039 --> 00:46:07.539
you kind of wish you spent more time on that

00:46:07.539 --> 00:46:09.219
journey there's days where I was like I should

00:46:09.219 --> 00:46:11.139
have maybe celebrated a bit harder because like

00:46:11.139 --> 00:46:13.239
that journey's over for that part of my life

00:46:13.239 --> 00:46:16.420
and now I'm in this new journey and um there's

00:46:16.420 --> 00:46:17.880
days where I'm like oh are people bored with

00:46:17.880 --> 00:46:19.659
maintenance mode Hannah do they do they miss

00:46:19.659 --> 00:46:22.360
seeing rapid weight loss Hannah um and maybe

00:46:22.360 --> 00:46:24.739
I tied too much of myself to this but then I

00:46:24.739 --> 00:46:26.900
that's just kind of like dysmorphia and self

00:46:26.900 --> 00:46:29.300
-esteem I rip myself out of it and go no it's

00:46:29.300 --> 00:46:31.599
cool that I've made my life about this and there's

00:46:31.599 --> 00:46:33.550
nothing wrong with that No, and now people want

00:46:33.550 --> 00:46:35.829
to see that fresh. It's like a fresh start. It's

00:46:35.829 --> 00:46:38.269
a new beginning because we've talked about, and

00:46:38.269 --> 00:46:40.510
I've said on this podcast, even though I'm only

00:46:40.510 --> 00:46:42.429
six months out, I'm not the same person I was

00:46:42.429 --> 00:46:45.409
three months ago. I'm not the same person I was

00:46:45.409 --> 00:46:47.190
when I started the journey. And it's a constant

00:46:47.190 --> 00:46:50.469
evolution. Then, like you said, then you have

00:46:50.469 --> 00:46:52.760
to almost sit back and go, okay. Who's really

00:46:52.760 --> 00:46:56.019
underneath all of that, that I was hiding, that

00:46:56.019 --> 00:46:57.780
I was suppressing, that I was making excuses

00:46:57.780 --> 00:46:59.699
for? Because you had to be the happy fat friend.

00:46:59.880 --> 00:47:02.880
Or I didn't want to do those things because I

00:47:02.880 --> 00:47:05.019
was scared, because I was obese. I couldn't do

00:47:05.019 --> 00:47:07.860
these things because physically, I physically

00:47:07.860 --> 00:47:09.300
couldn't. But you convinced yourself you didn't

00:47:09.300 --> 00:47:12.519
want to do those things. Who's really underneath

00:47:12.519 --> 00:47:15.079
all of that? And as you go through this journey,

00:47:15.219 --> 00:47:18.260
and as we've said, you have so many mental mind

00:47:18.260 --> 00:47:21.000
shifts that happen and emotional mind shifts

00:47:21.000 --> 00:47:23.400
that you start. kind of peeling back those layers

00:47:23.400 --> 00:47:26.980
of and weight, layers of weight, layers of everything

00:47:26.980 --> 00:47:29.760
until you finally get to who you really were.

00:47:29.880 --> 00:47:33.610
And that's scary. Yeah. But like you said, you're

00:47:33.610 --> 00:47:36.130
not the same person. Whether you want to admit

00:47:36.130 --> 00:47:38.610
it or not, you're not the same person. Yes. I

00:47:38.610 --> 00:47:40.989
feel like you outgrow different areas of your

00:47:40.989 --> 00:47:43.250
life with that. Like you hear about relationships

00:47:43.250 --> 00:47:45.929
not working out after. I've had some friendships

00:47:45.929 --> 00:47:49.090
actually that just, you know, I feel like I outgrew

00:47:49.090 --> 00:47:52.050
during the process too. And I think that's okay.

00:47:52.090 --> 00:47:54.230
You do become a new person. Some people don't

00:47:54.230 --> 00:47:57.369
receive your new confidence well. I've had friends

00:47:57.369 --> 00:48:01.179
too, my TikTok. They were honestly just annoyed

00:48:01.179 --> 00:48:03.659
with me filming my food all the time. And I wanted

00:48:03.659 --> 00:48:06.019
people that celebrated that part of me and they

00:48:06.019 --> 00:48:08.519
didn't fit into my new life that way, you know?

00:48:08.519 --> 00:48:11.099
And that's okay. Friends are seasons. They come

00:48:11.099 --> 00:48:12.579
and go. We did an episode on that where you have

00:48:12.579 --> 00:48:14.860
to surround yourself with the people that are

00:48:14.860 --> 00:48:16.880
going to support you, that are going to help

00:48:16.880 --> 00:48:18.980
you succeed and are going to help you build that

00:48:18.980 --> 00:48:20.920
foundation. And if they're not there for that,

00:48:21.079 --> 00:48:23.440
then that's fine. And maybe they come back later.

00:48:23.840 --> 00:48:25.539
Maybe they don't. Maybe not. But you have to

00:48:25.539 --> 00:48:27.119
kind of be a little bit selfish and say, this

00:48:27.119 --> 00:48:29.519
is what I need. This is what's important to me.

00:48:29.559 --> 00:48:32.300
And if you're not on board, that's fine. I've

00:48:32.300 --> 00:48:36.320
had family that are that way. Like my brother,

00:48:36.420 --> 00:48:38.079
who I know is probably not listening to this,

00:48:38.099 --> 00:48:39.980
so I'll just say it, was like, I don't know,

00:48:39.980 --> 00:48:42.000
maybe stop posting so much online. And I was

00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:43.800
like, I don't know why it upsets some people,

00:48:43.840 --> 00:48:45.920
but it does. And in that broadcast episode, we

00:48:45.920 --> 00:48:48.159
did say, don't internalize it. Please don't take

00:48:48.159 --> 00:48:51.139
it personally. People get really uncomfortable

00:48:51.139 --> 00:48:54.269
when people better their lives. You are not making

00:48:54.269 --> 00:48:57.030
them judge their own life, but they will feel

00:48:57.030 --> 00:48:59.230
like they're being left behind or they're not

00:48:59.230 --> 00:49:01.309
doing enough and they'll take it out on you aggressively.

00:49:01.869 --> 00:49:04.170
And it's just easier to judge people. It is.

00:49:04.210 --> 00:49:06.510
But like, just let it go. Don't be like one of

00:49:06.510 --> 00:49:08.030
those influencers who's like, here's all the

00:49:08.030 --> 00:49:10.570
hate comments I get every day. Oh, come on. You

00:49:10.570 --> 00:49:12.690
get five times more positive comments. Like,

00:49:12.710 --> 00:49:15.250
don't don't give in to that. But yeah, people

00:49:15.250 --> 00:49:18.710
just like you will evolve. People will also evolve

00:49:18.710 --> 00:49:21.320
and maybe they're not the right fit. I think

00:49:21.320 --> 00:49:23.920
it's a scary feeling. It can be a sad feeling

00:49:23.920 --> 00:49:27.619
because you can realize, wow, I was treated very

00:49:27.619 --> 00:49:29.440
differently. And you just put a post up about

00:49:29.440 --> 00:49:32.179
this, which I loved and resonated with so hard

00:49:32.179 --> 00:49:35.119
that the confidence is great. But it's also that

00:49:35.119 --> 00:49:37.780
the world is just open to me like it never was

00:49:37.780 --> 00:49:40.760
when I was obese. I get more opportunity. I get

00:49:40.760 --> 00:49:44.719
treated differently. I'm celebrated more. And

00:49:44.719 --> 00:49:48.280
like that is heartbreaking for old Hannah. Because

00:49:48.280 --> 00:49:50.800
there is always a fear that you regain this weight

00:49:50.800 --> 00:49:53.199
and go back that way. And, like, I was treated

00:49:53.199 --> 00:49:55.199
differently. I wasn't treated meanly or poorly.

00:49:55.280 --> 00:49:58.860
But I almost was just not given the same life

00:49:58.860 --> 00:50:01.260
that I'm able to have now. And it's not just

00:50:01.260 --> 00:50:03.820
all because I have confidence now. I was treated

00:50:03.820 --> 00:50:07.199
very differently as an obese person. This is,

00:50:07.219 --> 00:50:09.260
I'm learning to live again. Like I'm learning

00:50:09.260 --> 00:50:11.900
how to function. Like most of you have functioned

00:50:11.900 --> 00:50:14.599
your whole life. You have to give bariatric people

00:50:14.599 --> 00:50:16.800
time to catch up because this is not what life

00:50:16.800 --> 00:50:19.659
was like for us at all when we were obese. Yeah.

00:50:19.860 --> 00:50:22.739
I feel like there's a bit of a, almost in the

00:50:22.739 --> 00:50:25.579
body dysmorphia, it's like a mental game with

00:50:25.579 --> 00:50:28.619
that about where you realize that, yeah, your

00:50:28.619 --> 00:50:31.280
voice is heard in a room a little bit more. than

00:50:31.280 --> 00:50:34.320
you would anticipate post -op. And once the weight

00:50:34.320 --> 00:50:36.480
starts coming off and yeah, the opportunities

00:50:36.480 --> 00:50:38.820
are there and you're just, you're received so

00:50:38.820 --> 00:50:41.039
differently. The amount of people that will hold

00:50:41.039 --> 00:50:44.000
the door open for me who wouldn't have bothered

00:50:44.000 --> 00:50:48.079
before, you know, is astounding. It's just bizarre.

00:50:48.159 --> 00:50:51.579
And you don't notice it until you notice it.

00:50:51.639 --> 00:50:54.800
And you're like, wow. Just my health is taken

00:50:54.800 --> 00:50:57.539
more seriously. Now, my family doctor is an amazing

00:50:57.539 --> 00:50:59.659
man and I've praised him several times on this

00:50:59.659 --> 00:51:02.559
podcast. But it's other places that I notice

00:51:02.559 --> 00:51:05.920
I just get slightly better treatment where it's

00:51:05.920 --> 00:51:08.340
almost like some things were discredited a little

00:51:08.340 --> 00:51:11.340
when you were overweight. Like a great example

00:51:11.340 --> 00:51:12.920
is having pneumonia. I had to go for cardiac

00:51:12.920 --> 00:51:15.519
testing after because they were like, well, we

00:51:15.519 --> 00:51:17.260
should just make sure everything's good. And

00:51:17.260 --> 00:51:18.619
we're going to like check every because you're

00:51:18.619 --> 00:51:21.679
not obese or overweight. But when you were obese

00:51:21.679 --> 00:51:23.440
and overweight, it was like, of course, you probably

00:51:23.440 --> 00:51:25.480
have heart disease. Oh, my God. Like we don't

00:51:25.480 --> 00:51:26.920
have to run a battery of tests. We're going to

00:51:26.920 --> 00:51:29.320
find it pretty quick. And it's like. Okay, cool.

00:51:29.460 --> 00:51:31.380
Great. Thank you. I feel like we need to do a

00:51:31.380 --> 00:51:35.019
whole episode on the difference. Oh my gosh.

00:51:35.059 --> 00:51:40.019
Yes. Pre and post in terms of the world and how

00:51:40.019 --> 00:51:42.280
you're treated. World, your friends. And like,

00:51:42.300 --> 00:51:43.980
I'm not trying to say we should throw your friends

00:51:43.980 --> 00:51:46.780
under the bus, but you do kind of notice like.

00:51:48.539 --> 00:51:50.699
okay all right and it wasn't like they were mean

00:51:50.699 --> 00:51:53.119
or like I love my friends to death there were

00:51:53.119 --> 00:51:55.039
some people that I let go in this journey but

00:51:55.039 --> 00:51:57.519
you just kind of realize like holy shit I was

00:51:57.519 --> 00:52:01.780
the fat friend for fuck's sake um and like even

00:52:01.780 --> 00:52:03.420
just little things I've had this argument with

00:52:03.420 --> 00:52:05.699
my mom she was like yeah I would park as close

00:52:05.699 --> 00:52:07.840
to the door as possible when we'd go shopping

00:52:07.840 --> 00:52:09.639
because like I just didn't think you could walk

00:52:09.639 --> 00:52:13.929
that far and I was like But, like, it's true.

00:52:14.030 --> 00:52:15.329
I was a Huffy Puffy. You don't realize the thoughts

00:52:15.329 --> 00:52:17.090
they had of you, though, because they do come

00:52:17.090 --> 00:52:20.110
out, actually. They do. And you're like, wow,

00:52:20.230 --> 00:52:22.510
I didn't know you thought of me that way. Or

00:52:22.510 --> 00:52:25.250
you're even having your own internal realizations

00:52:25.250 --> 00:52:27.389
of how you handle food. And those conversations

00:52:27.389 --> 00:52:29.050
come out with your friends. And they'll be like,

00:52:29.190 --> 00:52:31.389
yeah, no, we knew you were addicted to sugar.

00:52:31.449 --> 00:52:33.349
Or, like, we knew because we knew the portions.

00:52:33.369 --> 00:52:35.210
Or, like, you always suggesting that we get a

00:52:35.210 --> 00:52:37.269
little treat right after the dinner. You know,

00:52:37.329 --> 00:52:40.500
like. Always have an appetizer, the meal, a dessert,

00:52:40.599 --> 00:52:43.300
maybe go out after. But the thing that kind of

00:52:43.300 --> 00:52:46.420
annoys me, this could be a whole episode, why

00:52:46.420 --> 00:52:49.139
did you enable it then? Why didn't you speak

00:52:49.139 --> 00:52:52.739
up then? No one said anything. No. I can guarantee

00:52:52.739 --> 00:52:54.980
you if we fall off the wagon now, they're going

00:52:54.980 --> 00:52:57.039
to be the loudest motherfuckers in that room

00:52:57.039 --> 00:53:00.380
being like, you sure you need that? Right? But

00:53:00.380 --> 00:53:03.480
before it was like, you enabled this, like you,

00:53:03.599 --> 00:53:06.340
because by me being gluttonous, it gives you

00:53:06.340 --> 00:53:09.179
the freedom in your mind to indulge because,

00:53:09.260 --> 00:53:11.059
well, I'm not as bad as Hannah. So it's going

00:53:11.059 --> 00:53:15.699
to be totally fine. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and some

00:53:15.699 --> 00:53:18.260
people too, you were okay with you always being

00:53:18.260 --> 00:53:19.940
the fat, funny friend, right? They were okay

00:53:19.940 --> 00:53:23.039
with you being that person. So as long as they

00:53:23.039 --> 00:53:24.920
don't say anything, you get to remain that person.

00:53:25.889 --> 00:53:28.349
My gosh, there's so many, so many future episode

00:53:28.349 --> 00:53:31.130
topics. Yes, I think we should definitely do

00:53:31.130 --> 00:53:33.969
a when we were when we were fat episode. I think

00:53:33.969 --> 00:53:36.269
it would be just to tell people like what life

00:53:36.269 --> 00:53:37.929
was like, who maybe don't know what it's like

00:53:37.929 --> 00:53:40.150
to live in an obese body. And it's not going

00:53:40.150 --> 00:53:42.289
to be a scathing reflection on the medical system,

00:53:42.329 --> 00:53:43.829
because honestly, my problems were elsewhere.

00:53:44.269 --> 00:53:46.909
But I think just like it is a different world.

00:53:47.230 --> 00:53:50.230
It's different. And just like, yeah, the praise

00:53:50.230 --> 00:53:52.170
we get now and the difference we get now. And

00:53:52.170 --> 00:53:54.489
maybe that will shed light to people on why we

00:53:54.489 --> 00:53:56.469
talk about what we talk about. Because if one

00:53:56.469 --> 00:53:57.869
more person is like, well, why do you have to

00:53:57.869 --> 00:54:00.389
post everything? Okay, frig off, Karen. Like,

00:54:00.389 --> 00:54:03.469
don't follow them, right? This is how you unfollow

00:54:03.469 --> 00:54:06.010
me. Yeah, it's accountability. It's to take me

00:54:06.010 --> 00:54:08.210
out of my body dysmorphia. It's to help my self

00:54:08.210 --> 00:54:11.090
-esteem. Like having to be single after all,

00:54:11.110 --> 00:54:12.989
like dating through this is going to be just

00:54:12.989 --> 00:54:15.090
a whole thing that stresses me right the fuck

00:54:15.090 --> 00:54:18.440
out. So if sharing. my life online can help build

00:54:18.440 --> 00:54:21.900
my confidence more and keep me accountable it's

00:54:21.900 --> 00:54:25.619
just one better tool in my toolbox so maybe an

00:54:25.619 --> 00:54:28.480
episode yeah where we all talk about this I think

00:54:28.480 --> 00:54:31.400
too Hannah we like and even Steph we really got

00:54:31.400 --> 00:54:34.039
into how with the body dysmorphia for those people

00:54:34.039 --> 00:54:36.940
who are listening to this and struggling with

00:54:36.940 --> 00:54:38.320
that currently or don't know how they're going

00:54:38.320 --> 00:54:41.059
to react to it you talked about those moments,

00:54:41.119 --> 00:54:42.920
having those things to rely on that snap you

00:54:42.920 --> 00:54:46.239
back into it, that elastic band or however you're

00:54:46.239 --> 00:54:48.340
going to choose to do it. I actually, you mentioned

00:54:48.340 --> 00:54:51.219
Hannah trying some weight training. I actually

00:54:51.219 --> 00:54:53.519
find that when I'm flexing and looking and I

00:54:53.519 --> 00:54:55.619
can see my muscle tone, that's like a snapback

00:54:55.619 --> 00:54:58.099
moment for me because I could not see it under

00:54:58.099 --> 00:55:00.760
the layers of just fat I had before. Like I just

00:55:00.760 --> 00:55:04.260
could not see the muscle tone. That's a snapback

00:55:04.260 --> 00:55:06.579
moment. Having photos of yourself is a snapback

00:55:06.579 --> 00:55:09.809
moment for body dysmorphia. don't get rid of

00:55:09.809 --> 00:55:12.309
some of your I kept some of my favorite dresses

00:55:12.309 --> 00:55:13.969
and stuff like summer dresses that were like

00:55:13.969 --> 00:55:16.469
my comfort clothes as a bigger person and like

00:55:16.469 --> 00:55:18.610
sometimes I just put those suckers on because

00:55:18.610 --> 00:55:21.869
it feels good to like know that I loved it so

00:55:21.869 --> 00:55:24.230
much then I still love the dress but like I just

00:55:24.230 --> 00:55:27.369
look so different in it now you know I have kept

00:55:27.369 --> 00:55:29.869
I've kept a few like gowns that I had to buy

00:55:29.869 --> 00:55:33.710
for Christmas parties and it's like okay all

00:55:33.710 --> 00:55:39.219
right like yes have snapbacks um As we wrap up

00:55:39.219 --> 00:55:41.619
this episode, what's kind of everybody's, I'd

00:55:41.619 --> 00:55:44.420
say like, I mean, Cass just gave it, but does

00:55:44.420 --> 00:55:47.019
anybody want to end with like, what advice do

00:55:47.019 --> 00:55:48.659
you have for people going through body dysmorphia?

00:55:48.800 --> 00:55:51.539
Or, I mean, if we don't have advice, what we

00:55:51.539 --> 00:55:54.960
can tell them that we've gone through or experienced,

00:55:55.000 --> 00:55:56.500
but what's the one thing you want to leave people

00:55:56.500 --> 00:55:59.000
with? I think just giving yourself time every

00:55:59.000 --> 00:56:03.360
day to praise yourself, right? At least once

00:56:03.360 --> 00:56:06.119
a day, find something positive about yourself.

00:56:06.199 --> 00:56:10.280
Take the time to stop. Stand in the mirror and

00:56:10.280 --> 00:56:13.900
say something good. Tell yourself something good.

00:56:14.199 --> 00:56:16.900
Or for every negative that comes in your head,

00:56:17.039 --> 00:56:20.500
give it a positive. Always counteract it with

00:56:20.500 --> 00:56:24.559
a positive. I like that. Yeah, that's a good

00:56:24.559 --> 00:56:29.920
one. Cass took mine, so I know. I think, yeah,

00:56:30.019 --> 00:56:32.539
body dysmorphia is hard. So I think if you are

00:56:32.539 --> 00:56:35.230
suffering from it, my advice is... please talk

00:56:35.230 --> 00:56:38.250
to a therapist. I know that the health care or

00:56:38.250 --> 00:56:41.489
mental health care is not as affordable as it

00:56:41.489 --> 00:56:44.630
should be in this country. So if you have access

00:56:44.630 --> 00:56:46.929
to a clinic, book a call with a social worker.

00:56:47.090 --> 00:56:49.150
They actually offer, like I could have booked

00:56:49.150 --> 00:56:51.190
lots of calls with a social worker. I just, I

00:56:51.190 --> 00:56:53.829
had access to my own therapist, but I just encourage

00:56:53.829 --> 00:56:55.349
you to talk to them because they can actually

00:56:55.349 --> 00:56:57.329
give you really good tips and tricks, kind of

00:56:57.329 --> 00:56:59.989
like what Steph said, having a thought record,

00:57:00.150 --> 00:57:01.909
having things to counter those thought records,

00:57:02.030 --> 00:57:04.369
but just talk to someone because like it's. it

00:57:04.369 --> 00:57:06.849
is hard to go through that. And there is no shame

00:57:06.849 --> 00:57:09.750
in that game. There's no shame in saying, man,

00:57:09.889 --> 00:57:13.280
why do I not see myself in the mirror? But I

00:57:13.280 --> 00:57:14.820
think, yeah, the big thing for me is pictures.

00:57:14.900 --> 00:57:16.579
And if you need to print them out, print them

00:57:16.579 --> 00:57:18.960
out. If you need to just have them hanging up

00:57:18.960 --> 00:57:20.880
in your house, there is nothing wrong with seeing

00:57:20.880 --> 00:57:23.000
them. So when you walk past the mirror, they're

00:57:23.000 --> 00:57:25.719
there on the mirror so that you don't have to

00:57:25.719 --> 00:57:27.840
sit there and stare at yourself and overanalyze

00:57:27.840 --> 00:57:30.760
yourself. And then don't compare yourself to

00:57:30.760 --> 00:57:33.420
others. So what you see on social is a fraction.

00:57:33.659 --> 00:57:36.019
You don't know if they're on GLP -1s. You don't

00:57:36.019 --> 00:57:37.500
know if they're eating behind the scenes. You

00:57:37.500 --> 00:57:40.820
don't know if they've had cosmetic surgery. follow

00:57:40.820 --> 00:57:44.139
your own path track your own measurements and

00:57:44.139 --> 00:57:47.619
just try to compare yourself to yourself yeah

00:57:47.619 --> 00:57:50.719
more comparison is the thief of joy as you said

00:57:50.719 --> 00:57:54.440
it that like I live by that me too because I

00:57:54.440 --> 00:57:57.239
compared myself to fucking everyone because I

00:57:57.239 --> 00:57:59.239
had no one at the beginning so I was constantly

00:57:59.239 --> 00:58:01.940
like oh am I gonna and that's the one thing we

00:58:01.940 --> 00:58:03.800
try to tell people is please don't use those

00:58:03.800 --> 00:58:06.599
online calculators or try to like guesstimate

00:58:06.599 --> 00:58:09.179
how much you're going to lose it is such a spectrum

00:58:09.179 --> 00:58:12.239
it's like between 30 to 70 if you think every

00:58:12.239 --> 00:58:14.300
single person is at 70 that goes through the

00:58:14.300 --> 00:58:17.400
program come on so don't set yourself up for

00:58:17.400 --> 00:58:19.800
that success either and remember like it's a

00:58:19.800 --> 00:58:21.639
three -year process minimum to get where you

00:58:21.639 --> 00:58:24.099
want to go but like yeah you could potentially

00:58:24.099 --> 00:58:27.239
lose 30 or maybe 40 of your excess body weight

00:58:27.239 --> 00:58:29.880
and so don't set yourself up to be like, I thought

00:58:29.880 --> 00:58:32.559
it would be 70 and I'd be 122 pounds. And like,

00:58:32.579 --> 00:58:34.579
there was a moment where Hannah was like, I'm

00:58:34.579 --> 00:58:36.460
gonna be 120 pounds. This is gonna be fucking

00:58:36.460 --> 00:58:39.099
dope. And now I'm like, not a, not a chance,

00:58:39.159 --> 00:58:42.059
not a chance. I'm shedding 40 more pounds this

00:58:42.059 --> 00:58:44.699
year. But you also get to a point where you're

00:58:44.699 --> 00:58:46.980
like, I don't need to lose 40 more pounds. I'm

00:58:46.980 --> 00:58:49.719
totally great with where I am. Yeah. And when

00:58:49.719 --> 00:58:51.280
people say you look different and you're showing

00:58:51.280 --> 00:58:53.460
up different, it's easier said than done, but

00:58:53.460 --> 00:58:57.429
like, believe it. Believe it. And if you're not

00:58:57.429 --> 00:59:00.210
believing it, that's probably a good time for

00:59:00.210 --> 00:59:01.769
you to do a check -in with yourself. I feel like

00:59:01.769 --> 00:59:03.289
we don't do a lot of check -ins with ourselves

00:59:03.289 --> 00:59:05.010
on how are we feeling about how we're looking,

00:59:05.289 --> 00:59:07.349
how are we feeling about what we see in the mirror,

00:59:07.530 --> 00:59:09.110
because we're kind of just going through the

00:59:09.110 --> 00:59:11.969
motions. We're so focused on our hydration, protein,

00:59:12.170 --> 00:59:14.590
am I doing the right thing, carbs are bad, and

00:59:14.590 --> 00:59:18.630
all these things that we're just forced into

00:59:18.630 --> 00:59:21.360
our head. post up. So it's okay when somebody

00:59:21.360 --> 00:59:23.519
says, you know, you're looking good. You're looking

00:59:23.519 --> 00:59:25.940
great. We're so happy for you. You look so healthy.

00:59:26.260 --> 00:59:28.360
Be happy by those compliments. And then also

00:59:28.360 --> 00:59:30.000
you're going to start taking record of what the

00:59:30.000 --> 00:59:33.159
compliments you don't like receiving. But we

00:59:33.159 --> 00:59:35.079
need to believe it a little bit more when we

00:59:35.079 --> 00:59:37.659
hear it. And if you don't believe it, okay, maybe

00:59:37.659 --> 00:59:39.679
we need to sit back and see why can't we take

00:59:39.679 --> 00:59:42.199
the compliment? Why can't we accept it? Don't

00:59:42.199 --> 00:59:44.639
discredit the compliment, which I struggled with

00:59:44.639 --> 00:59:46.260
my whole first year. I even told my therapist,

00:59:46.260 --> 00:59:48.360
like when people comment, I go, oh my God, stop.

00:59:48.519 --> 00:59:51.019
No. Like I would try to shut the compliment down

00:59:51.019 --> 00:59:54.260
so fast because I was like, well, I'm, I've only

00:59:54.260 --> 00:59:56.380
lost 40 pounds. I have so much more to go. And

00:59:56.380 --> 00:59:59.420
it's like. Cass is right. Like accept the compliment

00:59:59.420 --> 01:00:01.440
and understand that like people in your life

01:00:01.440 --> 01:00:03.420
are not just blowing smoke up your ass. Like

01:00:03.420 --> 01:00:06.199
they're genuinely complimenting you on what has

01:00:06.199 --> 01:00:09.380
happened. But you're not used to it because when

01:00:09.380 --> 01:00:11.059
people said that when you were obese, you were

01:00:11.059 --> 01:00:14.219
like, well, you're a fucking liar. But take the

01:00:14.219 --> 01:00:18.820
compliment. Yeah. Agreed. Own it. Well, Stefan,

01:00:18.900 --> 01:00:20.679
I just want to thank you so, so much for being

01:00:20.679 --> 01:00:22.519
on the podcast. And like, we definitely need

01:00:22.519 --> 01:00:24.199
to do this again. We need to have you on. There's

01:00:24.199 --> 01:00:26.059
a million other things I want to talk to you

01:00:26.059 --> 01:00:28.920
about. But just thank you. I think our listeners

01:00:28.920 --> 01:00:30.860
are going to absolutely just love your insights

01:00:30.860 --> 01:00:32.820
and hearing from you and probably beg for you

01:00:32.820 --> 01:00:35.739
to come back to talk more. Yes, I would love

01:00:35.739 --> 01:00:37.619
to. I would absolutely love to. I'm a yapper

01:00:37.619 --> 01:00:41.280
at heart. Love it. Hey, we love it. So thanks,

01:00:41.380 --> 01:00:44.059
everybody, for listening. We have no hints on

01:00:44.059 --> 01:00:46.079
what next week's episode is in this one because

01:00:46.079 --> 01:00:48.460
we just want to savor the moment of body dysmorphia

01:00:48.460 --> 01:00:51.119
and having Cass on with us. So please go follow

01:00:51.119 --> 01:00:53.739
her on TikTok if you don't and on all her channels.

01:00:54.260 --> 01:00:57.519
But we will be posting again next week. We'll

01:00:57.519 --> 01:00:59.699
tell you on Instagram what that topic is. But

01:00:59.699 --> 01:01:02.000
like always, just thanks for listening along.

01:01:02.139 --> 01:01:04.480
And Cass and Steph, thanks for joining me today.

01:01:05.139 --> 01:01:07.780
Thanks, guys. This was awesome. Bye, everybody.

01:01:08.019 --> 01:01:08.400
Bye.