Ep 29: Social Survival: Navigating Food Events After Bariatric Surgery

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Hey, Steph. Hello. Welcome back to another episode

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of Bariatric Banter Podcast. Doing it. We're

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doing it. This is 29. We are coming up on 30

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episodes, which is quite crazy. I know. And like,

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we've evolved in 30 episodes. I have a new mic

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because I keep losing the lapel mic. So I have

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another new mic. And yeah, it's funny to think

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where we were. I was at a dog park. laid off

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talking to you about doing this podcast right

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now we'll have to do something for when we hit

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like the 52th year I think so we should I think

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like we'll get to 50 episodes and then we just

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have to celebrate like what an incredible year

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it's been too and Yeah, we've been talking a

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lot about maybe bringing video back now that

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we have a ton of other people following. But

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we know that audio is the way to go because a

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lot of you listen while you're walking and driving.

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Yeah. And we thought about, well, if we didn't

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do a video podcast, what if we just did like

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a video series where maybe once a month we meal

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prep together or break down a recipe or just.

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I don't know, pick something and keep it like

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five minutes, like a five minute video series

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on YouTube. So like a snippet. Yeah. So you can

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see our faces and we can have some fun. So you'll

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have to let us know on social. What would you

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like us to do? Cook, break down recipes, meal

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prep, review products. We've actually had a lot

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of fun lately. If you've been following my Instagram,

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reviewing a lot of things, some of it good, some

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of it terrible. We might have to do another like

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donut when we did our donut review from the car.

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Oh, yeah. I'm going to have to have you review

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the legendary donuts. The chocolate one, terrible.

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And I've already called them out on Instagram

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for it. But that vanilla one, it's and I never

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liked cake donuts as a kid, but my dad was like

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obsessed with them. You know, that flavor of

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a cake donut where there's some sort of spice

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in it. It's not really cinnamon. Yes. But you're

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like, oh, this is an old fashioned. They nailed

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that with this vanilla donut. Like it tastes

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and smells like an old fashioned. OK, so good.

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And it's like, I might have already ordered the

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cinnamon. And I was like, I gotta try. So I'll

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give the chocolate away to my brother and he'll

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eat them and love them. But we'll do more reviews

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because I think it's fun. And then, yeah, maybe

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that's what we could do is we do products at

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home. And then maybe once or twice a month, we

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grab Cass and we all go try something. Like a

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Fluffy Glaze or this really cool high protein

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restaurant someone suggested. Love it. We'll

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do it. I dig it. The reason we're talking so

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much about food is because today's episode is

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actually going to be about food. But I love this

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topic. And actually, this is the one that we

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both got really excited about. We want to talk

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about like social survival. And what we mean

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by that is. You've just had bariatric surgery

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and your friends invite you to a restaurant.

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Or you have a big special gathering to celebrate

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and everybody's going out to eat. Or, uh -oh,

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it's family reunion time. How do you survive

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going out to eat or going to big social events

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post -bariatric surgery? Because the first time

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can be overwhelming. But it is doable. It's super

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easy to slip back into old habits when you remember

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all of that food again and all the red dips and

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snacks and charcuteries and all of that fun stuff.

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Oh, God. Yeah. The amount of bread that I want

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to order. And it's very easy to feel like your

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old self, too, especially when everyone around

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you is eating like maybe your old self did. And

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that's not a dig at anybody with you. But, you

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know, oh, well, let's get an appetizer for the

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table. And, oh, I'm ordering this entree. Oh,

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have you seen the dessert menu? And let's get

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a cocktail. And you kind of fall into old surgery

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you where you want. The odd one out. Yeah. Yeah.

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And there's this weird like guilt and pressure

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that, well, if they're ordering it, I'm going

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to need to order it too. I shouldn't do it. But

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you don't. Yeah. You don't. No. And you don't

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want them to feel bad for not ordering what they

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want or for not doing what they want to do because

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they are worried about you. Exactly. Right. So

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it's a lot to navigate and to is it ever confident

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in your choices and just be I think I think the

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big thing is just being clear to people in those

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situations of just because I'm doing something,

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I don't expect you to do something or I don't

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expect you to change your behavior because I'm

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here. But I think that's a big one is the the

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optics of it. It is. And I think you kind of

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nailed something, too, that is. interesting where

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it's like, I don't want to fall into old habits,

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but I don't want people to feel guilty around

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me. I am in no way trying to shame you or make

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you change your eating habits. And that almost

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makes me feel worse. Like I'd almost wish people

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would just be like, that's all you're having.

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Shut the fuck up. But when they're sitting there

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going. you know maybe I'll just get an appetizer

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then too and you know what I don't need a cocktail

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and it's like stop stop you like I'm not judging

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you you do what you want to do and I think when

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you do like we had um people over not for like

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the first time but for one of the first times

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a couple weeks ago like hosted And I went instantly

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back into my old habits of like going to the

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store and buying the meats and the cheeses and

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the dips and the crackers and like putting everything

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out. And then we had my mother -in -law's birthday

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and we were responsible for all the food. And

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same thing immediately. It was like I went overboard

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on making sure we had enough food for everybody.

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And when it's all out in front of you and everyone

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else is grazing and constantly going up to the

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food table. it's very easy to also find yourself

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to the food table or just one more little plate

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just one more little this just one more just

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a little little bit little nibble yeah the flip

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side is then you're sitting there with your tiny

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little plate with only a few things on it and

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everyone else's plates are piled and you feel

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like everybody's watching you or judging you

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or keep keeping an eye on how many times you're

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going up there and what you're having um so like

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i tried It was easier when we were hosting my

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mother -in -law's birthday because I was making

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sure that this was done and checking on this

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and keeping myself busy with what needed to be

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done party -wise. But when we hosted a couple

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people here and we were just sitting around the

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table playing cards, that's not as easy because

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you're literally sitting in front of. And I think

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you nailed something, too, is like, oh, they're

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going to be judging me for how many times I go

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up and how many plates I take. And, like, that's

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our old way of thinking because we know nobody

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gives a flying rat's ass what you're doing at

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all. If anything, they're paying attention to

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how little you're eating. But, like, yeah, it

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kind of creeps in that you start becoming your

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own worst enemy. And you're like, oh, they're

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judging me. And, you know, they're going to be

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commenting on what I'm eating. And they're not.

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that spiral can almost not stop you from eating.

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It can cause you to keep eating because now you

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feel uncomfortable. You want to look normal.

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Before surgery, you didn't know how to deal with,

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typically, you didn't know how to deal with your

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emotions. Yeah. So you would eat. You didn't

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know how to deal with rejection. You'd eat joy.

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You'd eat, you know, you showed love by eating.

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Like eating is, and it. There's no way it wasn't.

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We were obese for a reason. So when you start

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to feel guilt and shame, you actually don't stop

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eating. So you're projecting things onto yourself

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that you don't need to when you're eating in

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a social setting now, because now it's not, oh,

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they're judging me for being fat and eating.

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Now the new voice says, oh, they're judging me

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because I'm a bariatric patient and I shouldn't

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be eating. They're not. I guarantee you nobody's

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looking at you while you're eating, especially

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post -surgery, because now you just look like

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everybody else. But let's start with, instead

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of restaurants, let's start with the first time

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you need to have like a social gathering. Let's

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say it's the first time you either have people

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to your house or you're going somewhere. We can

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kind of tackle both. I laughed because you were

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like, oh, yeah, you know, and I went and got

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the meat and the cheeses. I had a friend over

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literally yesterday. you know her katie um and

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i was like come on over i've got like the perrier

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sparkling flavored water and we'll play some

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nintendo switch and i made guacamole and then

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i literally turned around and cut up a bunch

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of brie and put brie out too because i was like

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well i need to have something and i was like

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what the hell are you doing like you don't need

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both first of all i mean i'm glad i made both

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because it i mean it did get eaten and um she

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was super grateful that i had made it but i was

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like one or the other hannah and also you don't

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have to but there was this weird feeling of like

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well if i'm hiding her over i have to have something

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for her to eat and it's like well yeah it's 7

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p .m do you like we so we i think i've talked

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about it here before but we have a really cool

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farm down i say down the street like 10 minutes

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down here that does wood fired pizzas i don't

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want to go because it just looks honestly grassroots

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pizza um And it's phenomenal. So we went there

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with friends of ours for dinner. And then they

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were coming back here to hang out. So we're already

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going there for pizza. But yet still the day

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before, I was like, OK, well, I got to go to

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the store. Devin's like, why? And I was like,

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well, we don't have anything for when they come

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over after. And I had to go to the store anyway

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for groceries. But like the amount of stuff I

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bought was ridiculous. Yeah. And it was literally

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for four of us. after we were gonna go have pizza

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and be full and then come back and like the amount

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of food old habit though old stuff was a half

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somebody's coming over have to have food people

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are coming i have to have food um and i mean

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like some of it got eaten but look then sitting

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there afterwards being like what are you doing

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yeah like the amount i throw out now is it's

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a little alarming we're hungry we can eat the

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leftover pizza that we're bringing home from

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the pizza place. But no, like I had the salamis

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and the multiple cheeses and the crackers and

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the chips and the popcorn and the dips. Like,

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yep. Because I felt like that's the symbol of

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a good host. When you come to my house, you will

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always, and like people would comment, oh, Hannah,

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you make the best, like, and honestly, Katie

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left the best comment yesterday for me, left

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it. She wrote it on Yelp and was like, well,

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I'm coming to Hannah's. Ooh, five out of five,

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come here. But she said to me. since surgery

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you make really good stuff now you make really

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good food and I was like oh that thank you like

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that is so flattering um and I love it I love

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that I'm making stuff by hand now versus like

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you know but it's this notion of a good host

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will always have something here for you and I

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don't know what Emily Post nonsense that is more

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than enough you'll never be wanton while you're

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here but It's just old habits. It's just old,

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like my mom having people over or whatever. And

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then I think the other side for me is I am hungry

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a lot. Like I'm hungry every two hours because

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I'm not going to go to the pizza place and eat

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a medium or personal size pizza. And I'm not

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judging. Normal stomached people can do that.

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I won't. So like I'll have a bite and like I'll

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be fine and I'll feel fine. But within two hours,

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I'm hungry. And then I feel very guilty if you're

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at my house and I'm opening a protein bar and

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eating it in front of you and I have nothing

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for you to eat. But, and this is a huge but,

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this will be my huge but if I don't stop doing

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this, I maybe need to get over that uncomfortableness

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because I have to stop putting out massive spreads

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when people come over. Because A, I don't want

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that when I come over to their house. And then

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B, it's not showing love for me anymore because

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for me my relationship with food is very very

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different and so if I don't want to eat that

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why would I want to give that to my friends and

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I think it's a torturing yourself almost like

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you're setting yourself up to be tempted and

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to slip back into that old habit because you're

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assuming people it's the same so these people

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came over again the other like on the weekend

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whatever day this is yeah Tuesday yeah and I

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had stuff left over from my mother -in -law's

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party So I said to them, and I said flat out,

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I'm like, hey, I'm like, you guys can come here.

00:12:40.029 --> 00:12:43.370
I have all this leftover stuff from the party

00:12:43.370 --> 00:12:45.289
that I want eaten because I don't want it in

00:12:45.289 --> 00:12:47.029
my house. I don't want the dips and all this

00:12:47.029 --> 00:12:49.250
that we brought from the party. So I put all

00:12:49.250 --> 00:12:51.730
that stuff out. I didn't buy anything new. I

00:12:51.730 --> 00:12:54.190
didn't go to the store. It was, this is what

00:12:54.190 --> 00:12:56.309
we're having. It was still probably excessive.

00:12:56.429 --> 00:12:58.389
But again, it was stuff that I was like, I want

00:12:58.389 --> 00:12:59.809
this out of my fridge. I want this out of my

00:12:59.809 --> 00:13:02.529
house. I don't want it in front of me. But that's

00:13:02.529 --> 00:13:04.490
just it, right? And that's because, yeah, like

00:13:04.490 --> 00:13:06.330
we are hungry. And same thing, like we went to

00:13:06.330 --> 00:13:08.850
the pizza place. Devin was stuffed. Everybody

00:13:08.850 --> 00:13:11.529
had a great. It's they're like these they're

00:13:11.529 --> 00:13:14.049
like little tiny pieces of super thin pizza.

00:13:14.389 --> 00:13:16.350
So like I had my two little pieces and I was

00:13:16.350 --> 00:13:18.309
stuffed. But exactly. I knew I was going to come

00:13:18.309 --> 00:13:20.309
home and be hungry in two hours because that's

00:13:20.309 --> 00:13:22.210
how it is. But then I was like, OK, but then

00:13:22.210 --> 00:13:25.049
if I put out all these snacks in front of me

00:13:25.049 --> 00:13:27.029
and I'm sitting there when I when I am hungry

00:13:27.029 --> 00:13:29.149
in two hours. Well, of course, that's what I'm

00:13:29.149 --> 00:13:30.710
going to gravitate to because it's right in front

00:13:30.710 --> 00:13:33.700
of me. Yeah. Right. So it's definitely become

00:13:33.700 --> 00:13:36.679
now. And even for my mother -in -law's birthday,

00:13:36.860 --> 00:13:40.220
if I'm having people over or if I'm going somewhere

00:13:40.220 --> 00:13:42.659
and I have to take something, I'm going to make

00:13:42.659 --> 00:13:45.539
it there. I always now try what are protein heavy

00:13:45.539 --> 00:13:48.240
options I can do? Yeah. Like you said, I can

00:13:48.240 --> 00:13:51.419
make. So like now making taking veggies and dip,

00:13:51.519 --> 00:13:55.100
but making it a high protein dip instead of a

00:13:55.100 --> 00:13:59.460
store bought dip or just making the healthier.

00:14:00.569 --> 00:14:02.929
options the healthier choices the protein heavy

00:14:02.929 --> 00:14:07.230
choices um and doing what I can control right

00:14:07.230 --> 00:14:10.789
and well and that's you nailed it like this boy

00:14:10.789 --> 00:14:13.190
this resonates with me so well stuff like why

00:14:13.190 --> 00:14:15.750
is it when I'm planning for people to come over

00:14:15.750 --> 00:14:19.250
I'm buying things for them and not for me and

00:14:19.250 --> 00:14:21.389
I It's because I love them. But like, why am

00:14:21.389 --> 00:14:23.549
I going out and going, oh, I'm going to get crackers

00:14:23.549 --> 00:14:26.470
and cheese and dips and guacamole and chips and

00:14:26.470 --> 00:14:28.750
other people first and us on the back. Ding,

00:14:28.830 --> 00:14:31.409
ding, ding, ding, ding. When in reality, there's

00:14:31.409 --> 00:14:33.029
nothing wrong with having things to snack on,

00:14:33.070 --> 00:14:34.909
because I'll give a good example. When I go to

00:14:34.909 --> 00:14:37.110
my parents' house, it's a two and a half hour

00:14:37.110 --> 00:14:39.289
drive. And typically I just bring a protein coffee

00:14:39.289 --> 00:14:41.490
with me and like I go because I don't want to

00:14:41.490 --> 00:14:43.629
be stopping with this dog in the car. And I get

00:14:43.629 --> 00:14:47.220
to their house and. Is my mom an almond mom?

00:14:47.639 --> 00:14:49.759
Maybe, but she doesn't know she is like she's

00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:51.580
not enforcing it, but she doesn't realize like

00:14:51.580 --> 00:14:53.519
she goes all day without eating. And it's like

00:14:53.519 --> 00:14:55.299
a nurse. It's a nurse thing, because when you're

00:14:55.299 --> 00:14:57.940
on the floor, you do not have time to eat. So

00:14:57.940 --> 00:15:01.120
she's very used to get up, pound a yogurt cup,

00:15:01.259 --> 00:15:04.259
work a 12 hour shift, come home and eat whatever's

00:15:04.259 --> 00:15:08.000
on the stove. So when I'm home, like she will

00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:10.500
not stop to eat. And I'll be like, hey, hey,

00:15:10.500 --> 00:15:13.059
my man, I just drove for two hours and dinner's

00:15:13.059 --> 00:15:15.080
not till six, which is like six hours from now.

00:15:15.659 --> 00:15:18.519
I need to fucking eat something. And I know she

00:15:18.519 --> 00:15:20.840
won't want to stop for lunch and not like out,

00:15:20.879 --> 00:15:22.539
but she won't want to just like sit at home and

00:15:22.539 --> 00:15:24.659
she'll have like a bubbly water and be like a

00:15:24.659 --> 00:15:28.419
real almond mom. And so I need cheese and crackers

00:15:28.419 --> 00:15:30.679
and dips and things when I'm there because like,

00:15:30.759 --> 00:15:34.419
hey guys, I can't cook eight hours without something

00:15:34.419 --> 00:15:37.620
to eat. And there's nothing in that house. That's

00:15:37.620 --> 00:15:38.980
the other thing. Like there's probably biscuits

00:15:38.980 --> 00:15:41.340
and I love her biscuits and I always have a biscuit

00:15:41.340 --> 00:15:43.379
when I'm home, but it's not like I can open the

00:15:43.379 --> 00:15:45.509
fridge and be like. let me whip up a really quick

00:15:45.509 --> 00:15:48.649
lunch. It's like, is, I'm sorry, is this 1920s?

00:15:48.649 --> 00:15:50.350
Like, are we back in the depression era? Do you

00:15:50.350 --> 00:15:52.690
not eat here? Like, where is your food? Cause

00:15:52.690 --> 00:15:55.789
they eat big dinners and big desserts. And then

00:15:55.789 --> 00:15:57.769
they have yogurt cups. And I'm like, if I eat

00:15:57.769 --> 00:16:02.049
one more of these, and they're cappuccino flavor,

00:16:02.149 --> 00:16:04.029
they're not even good flavored yogurt. And I'm

00:16:04.029 --> 00:16:06.389
like, mom, this house is going to kill me. So

00:16:06.389 --> 00:16:09.710
there are times that you need to graze because

00:16:09.710 --> 00:16:12.389
grazing is how I'll get my mom to eat. but how

00:16:12.389 --> 00:16:15.029
I can eat and fuel myself until dinner's ready

00:16:15.029 --> 00:16:17.710
because they just don't seem every two hours.

00:16:17.850 --> 00:16:20.970
Yeah. So I'll do that. But then I ask, and you

00:16:20.970 --> 00:16:22.509
know what? She's, she's really good at it. Maybe

00:16:22.509 --> 00:16:25.350
I need to learn from my mom. She will make better

00:16:25.350 --> 00:16:27.389
things. She'll always have a veggie tray with

00:16:27.389 --> 00:16:30.549
dip. And she started using the roasted red pepper

00:16:30.549 --> 00:16:33.450
dip. And then she'll make like a chicken dip.

00:16:33.509 --> 00:16:35.470
And it's like the buff. I hate it, but it's the

00:16:35.470 --> 00:16:38.090
Buffalo chicken. Yeah. It's called Chukichanga

00:16:38.090 --> 00:16:41.759
dip, but I'm like, it's Buffalo chicken. love

00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:43.620
her it's a high protein dip and then recently

00:16:43.620 --> 00:16:46.200
she's been switching it up and going I made deviled

00:16:46.200 --> 00:16:48.759
eggs and I'm like oh I'm gonna eat the whole

00:16:48.759 --> 00:16:51.919
deviled egg tray so then I I sit here and I go

00:16:51.919 --> 00:16:54.899
right now well why aren't you doing that when

00:16:54.899 --> 00:16:57.299
you have friends over why are you not making

00:16:57.299 --> 00:17:00.080
some deviled eggs or some cucumber with cottage

00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:03.179
cheese or like introducing them to what you would

00:17:03.179 --> 00:17:07.859
snack on in the house because I think for me

00:17:07.859 --> 00:17:12.730
anyway yeah it's having friends over is an excuse

00:17:12.730 --> 00:17:15.109
to eat like shit. It's like I'm giving myself

00:17:15.109 --> 00:17:17.789
the allowance because I'm using them as a crutch.

00:17:17.970 --> 00:17:20.710
Oh, well, they're going to want crackers and

00:17:20.710 --> 00:17:22.690
guacamole. So it's okay if I have some. So like

00:17:22.690 --> 00:17:25.069
I should buy it. It's just my layer here. My

00:17:25.069 --> 00:17:30.730
board is for them. It's high protein. It's cheese

00:17:30.730 --> 00:17:33.490
and crackers. And it's like, I only have a couple.

00:17:34.650 --> 00:17:40.279
Is it? Is it? I think what I need to do and like

00:17:40.279 --> 00:17:42.000
maybe I'm just scared that they're going to not

00:17:42.000 --> 00:17:43.720
like the food and then that's a reflection of

00:17:43.720 --> 00:17:47.000
me as a host. And it's not. Maybe what I do when

00:17:47.000 --> 00:17:50.539
they come over is I have like there's a great

00:17:50.539 --> 00:17:52.960
recipe I have that's just smoked salmon, the

00:17:52.960 --> 00:17:56.200
light whipped cream cheese on a cucumber. There

00:17:56.200 --> 00:17:58.559
you go. And it's awesome. And like super low

00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:03.099
-cal, carb. Too bad. Deviled eggs if you don't

00:18:03.099 --> 00:18:06.910
like eggs. All right. Then don't eat. Like that's

00:18:06.910 --> 00:18:09.789
the other thing. Do I actually even need to put

00:18:09.789 --> 00:18:11.829
something out? Like, can we not just hang out

00:18:11.829 --> 00:18:16.450
without food? Right. That's the other thing,

00:18:16.490 --> 00:18:18.869
right? Can't we just, or like put out, put out

00:18:18.869 --> 00:18:21.529
one thing, like put out veggies and dip and call

00:18:21.529 --> 00:18:24.490
it a day. Or watermelon. Yeah. Right. Or fruit.

00:18:24.490 --> 00:18:27.450
Like one thing you don't need. And that's where

00:18:27.450 --> 00:18:29.269
I'm always like, when, when these people came

00:18:29.269 --> 00:18:30.950
over and I kept putting stuff out and Devin was

00:18:30.950 --> 00:18:34.039
like, are you like, He literally just stood there

00:18:34.039 --> 00:18:36.079
with his mouth open watching me go from the kitchen

00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:38.720
to the table or the fridge to the table, from

00:18:38.720 --> 00:18:40.720
the fridge to the table. And he just watched

00:18:40.720 --> 00:18:42.799
me go back and forth. And he's like, are you

00:18:42.799 --> 00:18:45.220
done? And I said to him, I'm like, okay, this

00:18:45.220 --> 00:18:46.859
is the leftover stuff from the party. I want

00:18:46.859 --> 00:18:48.720
to get it, like, I want to get it eaten. But

00:18:48.720 --> 00:18:51.279
it was ridiculous. Like, honestly, how many times?

00:18:51.319 --> 00:18:53.180
It was like, and then another one, and then another

00:18:53.180 --> 00:18:57.140
one, and then another one. I'm like, why? Why?

00:18:57.759 --> 00:19:00.180
Why? I think, okay, I think you and I are going

00:19:00.180 --> 00:19:03.299
to make a pledge to each other. One thing. One

00:19:03.299 --> 00:19:06.839
bariatric thing. Right. And we're going to embrace

00:19:06.839 --> 00:19:09.720
it. And we're not going to feel guilty or weird

00:19:09.720 --> 00:19:12.200
that maybe the thing we put out is a cottage

00:19:12.200 --> 00:19:14.920
cheese dip with no crackers, but baby carrots.

00:19:15.000 --> 00:19:16.720
Don't tell people it's cottage cheese. Yeah.

00:19:16.779 --> 00:19:19.680
Or maybe we do ants on a log. People like that

00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:23.799
shit. I like that shit. Maybe it's grapes. Honestly,

00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:26.900
there's these dips and they're, I'm sure you

00:19:26.900 --> 00:19:28.019
can buy them everywhere, but you can buy them

00:19:28.019 --> 00:19:30.700
at this little, we have like a really cute. flower

00:19:30.700 --> 00:19:33.660
gift storing town. And they're called Debs. I

00:19:33.660 --> 00:19:34.880
know you can buy them because I've seen them.

00:19:35.000 --> 00:19:37.180
Debs dips, right? They're so good. They're so

00:19:37.180 --> 00:19:40.680
good. That with plain Greek yogurt and then put

00:19:40.680 --> 00:19:43.460
out veggies. And if you want to put a few crackers

00:19:43.460 --> 00:19:45.599
to go with your veggies, cool, but make like

00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:48.319
a platter, get the Debs dips. The flavors are

00:19:48.319 --> 00:19:51.339
just so, I'm not saying like potent, but like

00:19:51.339 --> 00:19:54.019
they're flavorful. Yep. Set with your Greek yogurt,

00:19:54.099 --> 00:19:55.910
put out your veggies and call it a day. Get some

00:19:55.910 --> 00:19:58.170
wisps if you want to watch your carbs. I don't

00:19:58.170 --> 00:20:00.410
like wisps. I know people like wisps. I don't

00:20:00.410 --> 00:20:01.529
know. There's something about it that gives me

00:20:01.529 --> 00:20:04.630
heartburn. But get wisps. Or here's a fun little

00:20:04.630 --> 00:20:06.450
thing. If you have a farm boy near you, farm

00:20:06.450 --> 00:20:10.069
boy now makes sourdough crackers. And I used

00:20:10.069 --> 00:20:12.789
ChatGTP hilariously to help me find an alternative

00:20:12.789 --> 00:20:14.650
to my rice crackers because, like, I'm obsessed

00:20:14.650 --> 00:20:16.490
with the rice crackers. Oh, I love rice crackers.

00:20:16.529 --> 00:20:19.009
I just love what rice crackers are. Right? They're

00:20:19.009 --> 00:20:22.809
just so, it's just a huge calorie hit for me.

00:20:23.150 --> 00:20:26.240
Really? What are you buying? Yeah, the rice crackers

00:20:26.240 --> 00:20:30.180
aren't that. The ones that I buy are 10 calories

00:20:30.180 --> 00:20:33.700
per cracker. Well, you're probably only eating

00:20:33.700 --> 00:20:36.180
like four crackers. Like at this point, I can

00:20:36.180 --> 00:20:38.339
knock back eight to 10 of those rice crackers.

00:20:38.339 --> 00:20:40.440
Yeah, I know. I'm having like four. And that's

00:20:40.440 --> 00:20:42.400
the thing, right? Like now I can eat more and

00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:45.019
it's like, there's no way I'm having 100 calories

00:20:45.019 --> 00:20:48.400
worth. But try the sourdough crackers because

00:20:48.400 --> 00:20:52.339
the calories were actually insanely awesome for

00:20:52.339 --> 00:20:55.380
this. So I think it was like... I think it's

00:20:55.380 --> 00:20:58.779
like less than 10 calories per cracker, but they're

00:20:58.779 --> 00:21:01.660
big. Crazy. They're like, they're super rectangular

00:21:01.660 --> 00:21:04.019
long and all their sourdough and they're so good.

00:21:04.079 --> 00:21:07.740
And they're stupidly filling. Like that's the

00:21:07.740 --> 00:21:09.759
problem with the rice cracker. It's not filling.

00:21:09.799 --> 00:21:13.559
They're not filling. No. At all. Because they're

00:21:13.559 --> 00:21:18.000
on the lower side, but no, they're not. They're

00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:20.259
not. That's the problem. They're very easy to

00:21:20.259 --> 00:21:22.319
power through. So chat GDP was trying to help

00:21:22.319 --> 00:21:25.359
me find. fiber filling, and even like a little

00:21:25.359 --> 00:21:28.359
bit of protein. Um, so it recommended these and

00:21:28.359 --> 00:21:31.220
they're pretty delish, but this is our, okay.

00:21:31.259 --> 00:21:34.559
So this is our advice for social events. I think

00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:36.380
as a bariatric community, we're going to rise

00:21:36.380 --> 00:21:39.779
up and decide that we're going to bring bariatric

00:21:39.779 --> 00:21:42.079
snacks. We're going to be okay with it. We're

00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:44.339
no longer going to cater to what other people

00:21:44.339 --> 00:21:46.359
might want to eat. We're going to introduce them

00:21:46.359 --> 00:21:49.539
to what we eat now. And if they like it, if not,

00:21:49.680 --> 00:21:53.690
that's fine. Um, and one item. We no longer need

00:21:53.690 --> 00:21:58.869
multiple items on that table. One item is fine.

00:21:59.029 --> 00:22:01.109
And no, we don't take leftovers home. Leave it

00:22:01.109 --> 00:22:04.410
with the host or donate it. Get rid of it. I'm

00:22:04.410 --> 00:22:05.890
like, don't you want to take anything home? Please

00:22:05.890 --> 00:22:07.549
take something home. No. I don't want anything

00:22:07.549 --> 00:22:10.309
home. No. Now, sometimes we'll say, I will take

00:22:10.309 --> 00:22:12.769
some things because Devin and the kids. Yeah,

00:22:12.809 --> 00:22:14.450
so you have a different setup. That makes sense.

00:22:14.690 --> 00:22:17.950
But it's still, I'm cautious with what it is

00:22:17.950 --> 00:22:19.890
and how much because it still goes back to if

00:22:19.890 --> 00:22:22.200
it's in the house. It will be eaten. It will

00:22:22.200 --> 00:22:24.599
be eaten and it's just a temptation that don't

00:22:24.599 --> 00:22:27.299
eat. Nope, don't eat it at all. And then I think

00:22:27.299 --> 00:22:29.319
my other advice before we move on to restaurants,

00:22:29.539 --> 00:22:31.819
because we are going to talk about how to survive

00:22:31.819 --> 00:22:34.740
restaurants. Hosting yourself is probably easier

00:22:34.740 --> 00:22:37.500
because then you can kind of tell people what

00:22:37.500 --> 00:22:40.180
to bring. But it's not always going to be possible.

00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:41.920
You will be going to other people's homes. So

00:22:41.920 --> 00:22:44.359
just speak up and say, is anybody bringing a

00:22:44.359 --> 00:22:45.920
salad? Maybe I'll bring that. Or can I bring

00:22:45.920 --> 00:22:49.420
a veggie tray? When people ask you, because they

00:22:49.420 --> 00:22:52.269
will. Steph, what can I make for you? You're

00:22:52.269 --> 00:22:54.269
coming to my house. I have to make something

00:22:54.269 --> 00:22:56.950
for you. What can I make for you? Don't, you're

00:22:56.950 --> 00:22:58.329
going to want to say exactly what Steph said.

00:22:58.430 --> 00:23:00.710
Nothing. I don't need anything. No, don't plan

00:23:00.710 --> 00:23:02.849
for me. I don't eat a lot because we've both

00:23:02.849 --> 00:23:05.369
done this and it's with family where I'm like,

00:23:05.430 --> 00:23:07.589
no, no, I don't eat a lot. I don't, there's no

00:23:07.589 --> 00:23:09.289
point because then you're going to show up to

00:23:09.289 --> 00:23:11.500
their house. And they're going to have over rotated

00:23:11.500 --> 00:23:13.200
and they're going to be like, well, I got a roast

00:23:13.200 --> 00:23:15.759
chicken. I got cheese. I got eggs. I got this.

00:23:15.779 --> 00:23:17.680
I got that. I got you. What can you eat? And

00:23:17.680 --> 00:23:20.039
then they almost feel like you have to take it

00:23:20.039 --> 00:23:24.000
home with you because it's for you. So you got

00:23:24.000 --> 00:23:26.259
to get over that immediately. And when somebody

00:23:26.259 --> 00:23:28.920
goes, well, Steph, what can I make for you? You're

00:23:28.920 --> 00:23:31.880
coming to my house to my party. You know what?

00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:34.559
Maybe a few deviled eggs would be really nice.

00:23:34.599 --> 00:23:37.579
Is that something that you could make? Or, oh,

00:23:37.700 --> 00:23:39.920
there's this really great cheese I like. Just

00:23:39.920 --> 00:23:42.579
a little bit of that cheese. Oh, you know, a

00:23:42.579 --> 00:23:45.180
turkey deli meat. I would love to have some to

00:23:45.180 --> 00:23:47.559
just make a roll up with. Like find something

00:23:47.559 --> 00:23:51.400
that you don't feel is imposing or too hard and

00:23:51.400 --> 00:23:54.119
just say, oh, you know, I'd really like this.

00:23:54.319 --> 00:23:57.819
Is that okay? Because they're going to over -rotate.

00:23:57.900 --> 00:23:59.599
And because you're going to get hungry. Like

00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:01.279
we said, we're hungry every two hours. You're

00:24:01.279 --> 00:24:02.740
going to get hungry while you're there and then

00:24:02.740 --> 00:24:05.059
you're going to end up caving and eating shit

00:24:05.059 --> 00:24:07.299
that you shouldn't be eating. And it's not just

00:24:07.299 --> 00:24:08.660
that you're eating shit you shouldn't be eating.

00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:10.359
That could make you feel like shit. You could

00:24:10.359 --> 00:24:12.019
get dumping syndrome in the middle of a party.

00:24:12.539 --> 00:24:15.880
And then that's fun. Not fun at all. Then you're

00:24:15.880 --> 00:24:17.599
going to spend the party in the bathroom. Yeah.

00:24:17.640 --> 00:24:19.299
Or on the couch because you feel like you're

00:24:19.299 --> 00:24:20.880
going to faint. Like, remember, dumping syndrome,

00:24:20.920 --> 00:24:23.599
guys, is not just pooping yourself. It can cause

00:24:23.599 --> 00:24:25.380
your heart rate to increase. You can get sweaty.

00:24:25.400 --> 00:24:26.839
You can get nauseous. You can feel like you're

00:24:26.839 --> 00:24:30.460
going to faint. Super fun party trip. Super fun.

00:24:31.100 --> 00:24:34.180
So speak up and be OK with it. And the last thing

00:24:34.180 --> 00:24:36.079
before we do restaurants is be OK saying no.

00:24:36.220 --> 00:24:39.400
I was just hanging out with my neighbor on the

00:24:39.400 --> 00:24:41.359
patio and she was like, I'm going to order some

00:24:41.359 --> 00:24:42.740
food because I'm hungry. Would you split it with

00:24:42.740 --> 00:24:44.259
me? And I was like, I already had dinner, so

00:24:44.259 --> 00:24:47.299
probably not. And I said, if you got some hummus,

00:24:47.339 --> 00:24:49.829
like I'd have some hummus because I. Love hummus.

00:24:50.210 --> 00:24:51.769
But then she was like, well, if I got this little

00:24:51.769 --> 00:24:53.410
box of something, something with fries. And I

00:24:53.410 --> 00:24:55.369
was like, no. And then she's like, well, what

00:24:55.369 --> 00:24:56.730
if I got some of this bread? And I was like,

00:24:56.789 --> 00:24:58.890
no. And she kind of laughed at me. And I was

00:24:58.890 --> 00:25:00.410
like, I don't mean to be rude, but like I've

00:25:00.410 --> 00:25:03.670
had dinner and I can't eat fries and bread. Like

00:25:03.670 --> 00:25:05.690
it doesn't fit well with me. And that's that's

00:25:05.690 --> 00:25:08.309
not something I want to snack on. Order your

00:25:08.309 --> 00:25:10.970
food. I don't need to eat. And she was like,

00:25:10.990 --> 00:25:12.910
well, I feel bad eating in front of you. And

00:25:12.910 --> 00:25:15.990
I was like, I had dinner. I'm a grown I'm a grown

00:25:15.990 --> 00:25:19.299
adult. I'm OK. I'll feed myself. I'm genuinely

00:25:19.299 --> 00:25:23.500
OK. So be OK telling people because you do feel

00:25:23.500 --> 00:25:25.140
guilty. Like you need to be like, yeah, I'll

00:25:25.140 --> 00:25:27.119
split that with you. Sure, I'll nibble on it.

00:25:27.160 --> 00:25:29.119
It's OK to be like, no, that's OK, but you can

00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:31.220
order it. Because you're just going to feel like

00:25:31.220 --> 00:25:33.519
shit emotionally, mentally and possibly physically

00:25:33.519 --> 00:25:36.559
after. It's not worth it. It's not. If you're

00:25:36.559 --> 00:25:37.960
hungry, you can feed yourself, but it's OK to

00:25:37.960 --> 00:25:41.119
say no. Part of it, I might be wrong, but like,

00:25:41.140 --> 00:25:43.000
Steph, I want to pick your brain on this. Remember

00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:45.579
the phenomenon of like the fat friend where.

00:25:46.400 --> 00:25:48.279
you know, they loved having you around because

00:25:48.279 --> 00:25:50.079
you made them feel better. You're going to get

00:25:50.079 --> 00:25:51.380
nachos and you're going to get a poutine and

00:25:51.380 --> 00:25:54.039
you're going to, yeah. Do you think, because

00:25:54.039 --> 00:25:57.119
I had this thought, do you think that that still

00:25:57.119 --> 00:25:59.240
exists where they don't even realize they're

00:25:59.240 --> 00:26:01.579
doing it, but it's kind of like this sabotage

00:26:01.579 --> 00:26:05.180
where, come on, I want you to eat because if

00:26:05.180 --> 00:26:08.140
you eat, I feel better. I think part of it is,

00:26:08.140 --> 00:26:10.500
yeah, they do miss having that justification

00:26:10.500 --> 00:26:13.799
for themselves. But I think part of it too is,

00:26:13.819 --> 00:26:17.470
it's just. it's habit and it's the norm for you

00:26:17.470 --> 00:26:19.970
and it's so out of the norm I think for them

00:26:19.970 --> 00:26:22.529
not in a bad way but it's just out of the norm

00:26:22.529 --> 00:26:24.849
for them to see you making different choices

00:26:24.849 --> 00:26:27.029
it just became like I know for me like it just

00:26:27.029 --> 00:26:29.750
became the thing right that was that was the

00:26:29.750 --> 00:26:31.750
norm for me that was how I ate that was who I

00:26:31.750 --> 00:26:34.970
was that was what I liked um that I think it's

00:26:34.970 --> 00:26:38.950
just so out of the ordinary it's out of the normal

00:26:38.950 --> 00:26:42.509
habit for them to see you not eat that it like

00:26:42.509 --> 00:26:45.279
it throws people It throws people off kilter.

00:26:45.279 --> 00:26:48.200
It throws them off guard. That's a nicer way

00:26:48.200 --> 00:26:51.319
to think about it than people. I'm sure there

00:26:51.319 --> 00:26:54.339
are people who, the other side, right? But I

00:26:54.339 --> 00:26:56.759
think like we've said, change is hard, right?

00:26:56.859 --> 00:27:00.539
And so I think it's just so weird for them to

00:27:00.539 --> 00:27:05.420
be making these changes. Exactly. And that's

00:27:05.420 --> 00:27:07.400
what I think the subconscious part is. Change

00:27:07.400 --> 00:27:12.059
is hard and they don't like it. push that you

00:27:12.059 --> 00:27:16.019
need to be back to who you were before and that's

00:27:16.019 --> 00:27:17.859
the thing is just be careful because if you gain

00:27:17.859 --> 00:27:19.920
all this weight back they're not going to take

00:27:19.920 --> 00:27:22.980
any of that blame no they're going to say well

00:27:22.980 --> 00:27:24.440
that's your choice you shouldn't you shouldn't

00:27:24.440 --> 00:27:26.779
have eaten that yeah i think people too are careful

00:27:26.779 --> 00:27:31.579
they're also not sure how to handle the change

00:27:31.579 --> 00:27:34.839
and what to say and what to think and i like

00:27:34.839 --> 00:27:39.519
i went out for um lunch So I went to the head

00:27:39.519 --> 00:27:41.640
spa. I told you I went to the head spa. My sister

00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:43.519
-in -law. And then we went out for lunch. And

00:27:43.519 --> 00:27:46.180
we went to Nova Era because it was right across

00:27:46.180 --> 00:27:48.480
the street. Oh, I love them. Right? And I hadn't

00:27:48.480 --> 00:27:52.099
been to Nova Era in, I can't even tell you how

00:27:52.099 --> 00:27:54.039
many years. Since my brother lived in Toronto,

00:27:54.119 --> 00:27:59.619
which was decades, ages ago. Yeah. And so right

00:27:59.619 --> 00:28:02.519
away, she was like, can you, like. She really

00:28:02.519 --> 00:28:04.480
wanted a sandwich. She's like, can you go here?

00:28:04.599 --> 00:28:06.039
And I was like, yeah, I can go anywhere. I just

00:28:06.039 --> 00:28:08.960
have to make a good choice. I'm like, I will

00:28:08.960 --> 00:28:10.779
make something work. Like, it's fine. I will

00:28:10.779 --> 00:28:12.000
make something work. Don't worry about me. You

00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:13.980
want a sandwich? We're going to get a sandwich.

00:28:15.180 --> 00:28:17.680
And so same thing. It was kind of this whole,

00:28:17.779 --> 00:28:21.180
like, we got sandwiches and we sat down and I

00:28:21.180 --> 00:28:22.640
said, I'm like, there's no way I can eat this

00:28:22.640 --> 00:28:24.339
whole sandwich. Between the bread and just the

00:28:24.339 --> 00:28:26.759
size of the sandwich was ginormous. I'm like,

00:28:26.799 --> 00:28:28.720
this is going to last me for two days. Like,

00:28:28.720 --> 00:28:32.960
this is four meals for me. I took a couple bites

00:28:32.960 --> 00:28:34.819
and I, and I was, she goes like, she said something

00:28:34.819 --> 00:28:36.759
about, can you eat bread? And I said, well, yeah,

00:28:36.799 --> 00:28:38.420
it just fills me up really fast. Like it sits

00:28:38.420 --> 00:28:40.559
heavy and it fills me up fast, but it doesn't

00:28:40.559 --> 00:28:44.440
bother me. And so I got through like a quarter

00:28:44.440 --> 00:28:47.960
of my sandwich and I was done. And she sat there

00:28:47.960 --> 00:28:49.960
and she had eaten half of her sandwich and she

00:28:49.960 --> 00:28:51.980
kind of looked at me and I said, what? She goes,

00:28:52.059 --> 00:28:55.160
well, I'm, I'm going to finish my sandwich. I

00:28:55.160 --> 00:28:57.680
was like, you go for it. Yeah, go for it. Enjoy.

00:28:58.410 --> 00:29:00.450
Old me would annihilate this sandwich. A hundred

00:29:00.450 --> 00:29:03.509
percent. Like if I could, I would sit here and

00:29:03.509 --> 00:29:05.990
devour this thing. Cause it's phenomenal, but

00:29:05.990 --> 00:29:08.029
I'm not going to, and I can't, but you like,

00:29:08.069 --> 00:29:11.829
you go to town, like you eat that sandwich and

00:29:11.829 --> 00:29:15.710
enjoy every bite of it. But you could tell it's

00:29:15.710 --> 00:29:18.609
that like, well, is it okay? Yeah. There's always

00:29:18.609 --> 00:29:20.470
going to be that guilt from people of like, am

00:29:20.470 --> 00:29:22.430
I allowed to eat in front of you? They don't

00:29:22.430 --> 00:29:24.529
want to, they don't, it's like I said, it's so

00:29:24.529 --> 00:29:26.829
different. Right. Because an old me would have

00:29:26.829 --> 00:29:29.109
annihilated that sandwich. No problem. Yeah.

00:29:29.250 --> 00:29:31.329
And they don't want to put you in an awkward

00:29:31.329 --> 00:29:33.950
position or make you feel left out or make you

00:29:33.950 --> 00:29:35.990
feel awkward because they're eating and you're

00:29:35.990 --> 00:29:37.910
not. Yeah. Which like you're going to have to

00:29:37.910 --> 00:29:39.829
get over that because you will stop eating before

00:29:39.829 --> 00:29:42.309
they finish eating. Like just take your time,

00:29:42.369 --> 00:29:44.789
go slow or just be involved in the conversation

00:29:44.789 --> 00:29:47.390
and you're fine. I think one thing to really

00:29:47.390 --> 00:29:51.170
watch out for is nobody but yourself should give

00:29:51.170 --> 00:29:54.500
you. approval to eat things. And what I mean

00:29:54.500 --> 00:29:56.460
by that is you're going to have people that don't

00:29:56.460 --> 00:29:57.940
like the change that are going to say things

00:29:57.940 --> 00:29:59.839
like, come on, Steph, you can have some of this,

00:29:59.859 --> 00:30:01.480
right? Like split this guacamole with me. Like

00:30:01.480 --> 00:30:04.980
if we just have a few bites, it's great. You

00:30:04.980 --> 00:30:07.619
need to not give into that temptation. And it's,

00:30:07.619 --> 00:30:09.819
it's way easier than it's like harder than it

00:30:09.819 --> 00:30:12.079
sounds because there's plenty of times where

00:30:12.079 --> 00:30:14.400
I use my friends as excuses while they're coming

00:30:14.400 --> 00:30:16.319
over so we can have something to eat or we're

00:30:16.319 --> 00:30:18.660
sitting on the patio or it's their house. Be

00:30:18.660 --> 00:30:20.579
careful. You're going to fall back into very

00:30:20.579 --> 00:30:25.240
slippery, slippery paths again, where you can't

00:30:25.240 --> 00:30:27.839
get justification for bad habits from a Facebook

00:30:27.839 --> 00:30:30.619
group, from your friends, from other people on

00:30:30.619 --> 00:30:34.299
social. Like you got to be careful of those voices

00:30:34.299 --> 00:30:37.319
that are like, just a bite. It's fine. Who cares?

00:30:37.359 --> 00:30:39.720
You know what the good choice is. You know what's

00:30:39.720 --> 00:30:42.380
right inside. You know what the right thing is.

00:30:42.460 --> 00:30:44.539
And I think like, like you said, when your friend

00:30:44.539 --> 00:30:47.039
was asking about food, like just be. honest with

00:30:47.039 --> 00:30:48.900
people just be transparent because a lot of it

00:30:48.900 --> 00:30:50.700
is the is just the fact that they don't know

00:30:50.700 --> 00:30:53.099
they don't know what the bariatric world is like

00:30:53.099 --> 00:30:55.079
they don't know what's normal for you they don't

00:30:55.079 --> 00:30:58.460
know what stage you're at and what like they

00:30:58.460 --> 00:31:00.779
don't know what my normal portion size is and

00:31:00.779 --> 00:31:04.380
nor should they so it's easier to say yes yeah

00:31:04.380 --> 00:31:06.299
I think it just comes down to just be honest

00:31:06.299 --> 00:31:08.819
and transparent and like I said at the end you

00:31:08.819 --> 00:31:11.799
know what the right choices are whether you're

00:31:11.799 --> 00:31:14.240
bariatric or not you know what a healthy choice

00:31:14.240 --> 00:31:17.019
is you know what the right thing to do is so

00:31:17.019 --> 00:31:21.380
don't and look for that justification from other

00:31:21.380 --> 00:31:25.599
places where you know it's not watch watch the

00:31:25.599 --> 00:31:28.470
justification of Well, I don't eat as much as

00:31:28.470 --> 00:31:31.069
other people. So it's totally okay for me to

00:31:31.069 --> 00:31:35.910
have this. And stop right now because we've told

00:31:35.910 --> 00:31:38.869
you guys before, regain is huge. We're not talking

00:31:38.869 --> 00:31:42.400
two to 5%. over 40 % of people regain their weight

00:31:42.400 --> 00:31:44.759
and then some post -surgery. And not like 10

00:31:44.759 --> 00:31:47.579
years post -surgery, two to five years post -surgery.

00:31:47.680 --> 00:31:50.059
So be very careful because you're going to tell

00:31:50.059 --> 00:31:51.599
yourself, well, I'm not eating as much, so it's

00:31:51.599 --> 00:31:54.460
totally okay. Sure, it might be okay now until

00:31:54.460 --> 00:31:56.980
you realize that you're eating that three times

00:31:56.980 --> 00:31:59.539
a week. Now it's four times a week. And now it's

00:31:59.539 --> 00:32:01.339
not. Your three bites are now six bites. And

00:32:01.339 --> 00:32:03.059
then your six bites are now half a portion. And

00:32:03.059 --> 00:32:05.299
you're saving the leftovers. So a great example,

00:32:05.359 --> 00:32:06.920
because we didn't get to talk about it, but we

00:32:06.920 --> 00:32:11.470
will elsewhere. Yeah. Because you can doesn't

00:32:11.470 --> 00:32:14.930
mean you should be very cautious of, well, I'm

00:32:14.930 --> 00:32:16.970
not eating as much. So it's okay for me to go

00:32:16.970 --> 00:32:20.349
to, you know, the Outback Steakhouse. It's not

00:32:20.349 --> 00:32:22.349
though, you know, you need to make better decisions.

00:32:22.869 --> 00:32:25.910
You can't look at your portion size as justification

00:32:25.910 --> 00:32:30.549
for what's going on. You have to remember, you

00:32:30.549 --> 00:32:33.990
will be back to 12 to 1500 calories quickly and

00:32:33.990 --> 00:32:38.619
to almost a full cup of food very quickly. if

00:32:38.619 --> 00:32:40.960
these are the habits you're doing early on, you're

00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:42.839
not going to give them up. You're definitely

00:32:42.839 --> 00:32:45.640
not giving them up. Because there needs to be,

00:32:45.799 --> 00:32:47.420
like we've talked about this recently, there

00:32:47.420 --> 00:32:50.460
needs to be like that healthy little bit of fear.

00:32:50.579 --> 00:32:53.259
Like I'm at the point where, and I've said this

00:32:53.259 --> 00:32:54.839
to Hannah so many times in the last two weeks,

00:32:54.900 --> 00:32:57.000
she's probably still sick of it, but I'm at the

00:32:57.000 --> 00:33:00.400
point where I really need to probably increase

00:33:00.400 --> 00:33:02.880
my calories a little bit. You do. But I'm so

00:33:02.880 --> 00:33:08.210
scared to do it because I'm... I'm at 900 calories,

00:33:08.309 --> 00:33:10.890
which I know in my head is not a lot of calories.

00:33:11.349 --> 00:33:16.609
But to go up to the next jump terrifies me so

00:33:16.609 --> 00:33:21.210
much. And probably too much than it should. Like

00:33:21.210 --> 00:33:25.650
I'm definitely over cautious right now. But you

00:33:25.650 --> 00:33:27.730
need to have that healthy little bit of fear

00:33:27.730 --> 00:33:30.890
and cautiousness. It's not even fear. It's ding,

00:33:31.009 --> 00:33:33.430
ding, ding. It's cautious. And you're being aware.

00:33:34.279 --> 00:33:36.980
of what that means and what that looks like and

00:33:36.980 --> 00:33:41.359
that increase versus yes or your three months

00:33:41.359 --> 00:33:43.980
post -op two months post -op and you're throwing

00:33:43.980 --> 00:33:47.539
caution to the wind and you're not counting you're

00:33:47.539 --> 00:33:49.400
not even looking at your calories or like i said

00:33:49.400 --> 00:33:51.079
you're going to the restaurants because i'm only

00:33:51.079 --> 00:33:54.980
having a couple bites so those habits early on

00:33:54.980 --> 00:33:58.339
if you're already not concerned about that and

00:33:58.339 --> 00:34:02.319
that's not making you cautious you're not gonna

00:34:02.319 --> 00:34:06.039
care When you're six months, seven months, nine

00:34:06.039 --> 00:34:09.420
months post -op. No, you won't stop. No. If you

00:34:09.420 --> 00:34:11.760
can't stop now, you won't stop. Can't stop, won't

00:34:11.760 --> 00:34:14.960
stop. But then, like Steph said, you're not going

00:34:14.960 --> 00:34:20.519
to stop. No. And then life isn't perfect. So

00:34:20.519 --> 00:34:23.460
you're going to have bad months. You're going

00:34:23.460 --> 00:34:26.099
to have months where you fall behind on exercise

00:34:26.099 --> 00:34:28.239
or maybe you're not even exercising. I mean,

00:34:28.239 --> 00:34:31.780
you're supposed to be every day. Yeah. And you're

00:34:31.780 --> 00:34:34.679
going to fall off the wagon and still have those

00:34:34.679 --> 00:34:36.800
habits. Well, we eat out all the time. It's fine.

00:34:37.239 --> 00:34:39.599
It's not because now you're eating more. Now

00:34:39.599 --> 00:34:41.639
you're exercising less. Now you're having a really

00:34:41.639 --> 00:34:43.940
stressful, hard time in life like we all do.

00:34:44.159 --> 00:34:46.860
And those eating habits will now really catch

00:34:46.860 --> 00:34:49.000
up with you. So restaurants, I think will be

00:34:49.000 --> 00:34:50.900
every day. And that's not going to get into them

00:34:50.900 --> 00:34:53.000
as much as we wanted to this episode. But my

00:34:53.000 --> 00:34:56.210
word of advice is. If you're going to pick a

00:34:56.210 --> 00:34:58.289
restaurant, don't do chain restaurants. Pick

00:34:58.289 --> 00:35:02.969
a local, very fresh, very like very not high

00:35:02.969 --> 00:35:05.829
end, but but kind of restaurant where, you know,

00:35:05.829 --> 00:35:08.010
they're cooking with fresh ingredients because

00:35:08.010 --> 00:35:11.210
you can usually ask them, please don't cook in

00:35:11.210 --> 00:35:13.510
butter. You know, could I get it grilled instead

00:35:13.510 --> 00:35:17.250
of fried like things on the side separated? Restaurants

00:35:17.250 --> 00:35:19.289
are fine in moderation, but you have to remember

00:35:19.289 --> 00:35:22.699
that restaurants cook in high fat, high. high

00:35:22.699 --> 00:35:25.980
sodium, high calorie portions. And that's, they're

00:35:25.980 --> 00:35:28.300
catering to more than just you. And the thing

00:35:28.300 --> 00:35:30.420
is like even a salad, and we've said this before,

00:35:30.480 --> 00:35:32.699
I've only found one restaurant with a salad under

00:35:32.699 --> 00:35:36.559
500 calories, Moxie's steak salad, no bread is

00:35:36.559 --> 00:35:40.599
420 calories. Awesome. Everywhere else, the salads

00:35:40.599 --> 00:35:43.980
are about 900 to a thousand calories, even the

00:35:43.980 --> 00:35:47.539
children's portion sizing or the appetizer menus.

00:35:47.579 --> 00:35:51.159
Like you have to go. I don't think you should

00:35:51.159 --> 00:35:54.940
be eating at Outback Steakhouse or at Jack in

00:35:54.940 --> 00:35:58.639
the Box or at the Mandarin or any of these chain

00:35:58.639 --> 00:36:02.739
fast food service restaurants. Well -cooked food.

00:36:02.900 --> 00:36:06.179
French places, Mexican places. I will fight you.

00:36:06.219 --> 00:36:09.639
We'll have a fight on the shawarma. You're not

00:36:09.639 --> 00:36:12.179
bad, but you have to remember how it's cooked.

00:36:12.300 --> 00:36:14.119
I have a deep love for shawarma. The type of

00:36:14.119 --> 00:36:16.260
chicken, the cut of chicken is not a breast.

00:36:16.579 --> 00:36:18.579
It's going to be the fatty part of the chicken.

00:36:18.579 --> 00:36:19.920
And we're not talking. like we're talking like

00:36:19.920 --> 00:36:22.380
shawarma plates guys like yeah we're talking

00:36:22.380 --> 00:36:24.920
sauce and garlic sauce and this sauce and yeah

00:36:24.920 --> 00:36:27.900
you gotta be careful of and like eating out is

00:36:27.900 --> 00:36:29.960
fine I have a dinner club and once a month we

00:36:29.960 --> 00:36:33.000
go out but we pick tapas restaurants and what

00:36:33.000 --> 00:36:36.639
tapas is is you share small sharing plates so

00:36:36.639 --> 00:36:40.690
I can control my portion but we pick like non

00:36:40.690 --> 00:36:42.869
-chain restaurants we go to places where it's

00:36:42.869 --> 00:36:46.070
like we have fresh local cod or oh today we have

00:36:46.070 --> 00:36:49.130
pei scallops and they're pan roasted with some

00:36:49.130 --> 00:36:52.050
asparagus like we pick places that obviously

00:36:52.050 --> 00:36:54.289
my friends can still find good food to eat i

00:36:54.289 --> 00:36:57.210
can pick usually i'll get a tuna tartare because

00:36:57.210 --> 00:37:00.530
it's just raw tuna yeah you can usually customize

00:37:00.530 --> 00:37:02.829
more at those places too because things aren't

00:37:02.829 --> 00:37:07.519
frozen in bulk and batched and that's where Yeah,

00:37:07.539 --> 00:37:09.119
you can ask for things to be removed or on the

00:37:09.119 --> 00:37:12.960
side. With chalet, those come in a bag, so you

00:37:12.960 --> 00:37:15.199
can't control what's in them. No, and simple

00:37:15.199 --> 00:37:17.320
things like look at the appetizers instead of

00:37:17.320 --> 00:37:19.539
the entrees. Get a takeout container right off

00:37:19.539 --> 00:37:21.639
the bat. Right off the bat. Little tips like

00:37:21.639 --> 00:37:24.219
that you can do. And be okay with that, with

00:37:24.219 --> 00:37:27.199
getting a takeout container. Have I had McDonald's

00:37:27.199 --> 00:37:29.900
chicken nuggets? Yeah, I have. Yeah, I've had

00:37:29.900 --> 00:37:32.340
them. Do I do it every week? No. Do I do it every

00:37:32.340 --> 00:37:35.039
month? On one hand, you're alone. How many times

00:37:35.039 --> 00:37:38.019
I've had chicken nuggets. Exactly. So it's just

00:37:38.019 --> 00:37:40.400
like make smart choices. You know what's right.

00:37:40.500 --> 00:37:45.179
You know what is not. And when you're picking

00:37:45.179 --> 00:37:48.260
a restaurant, then the excuses is the part you

00:37:48.260 --> 00:37:49.659
got to watch. I think so. When you're picking

00:37:49.659 --> 00:37:51.480
a restaurant. So like we went to Abigail's Tea

00:37:51.480 --> 00:37:55.019
House with Cass. We, for like two solid weeks,

00:37:55.099 --> 00:37:57.570
debated where to go as a group. And we were looking

00:37:57.570 --> 00:38:00.250
for something that had small sizes, was fresh

00:38:00.250 --> 00:38:03.030
made, had enough options to choose from. And

00:38:03.030 --> 00:38:04.949
that's what we liked about Abigail's was there

00:38:04.949 --> 00:38:07.389
were sweet treats, but that, you know, take them

00:38:07.389 --> 00:38:09.489
or leave them. We didn't need them. We went because

00:38:09.489 --> 00:38:11.349
the sandwiches sounded really good and they were

00:38:11.349 --> 00:38:13.889
small and local, like local fishes, local chicken.

00:38:13.929 --> 00:38:16.289
They had a little chicken salad to start and

00:38:16.289 --> 00:38:18.210
the tea. And we said, great, we'll have a few

00:38:18.210 --> 00:38:19.929
bites of this. And if we take stuff home, we

00:38:19.929 --> 00:38:23.489
take stuff home. Go out to eat. I think going

00:38:23.489 --> 00:38:25.849
out to eat is fun. And I like now trying to find.

00:38:26.479 --> 00:38:29.679
Good quality, fresh restaurants with good appetizers

00:38:29.679 --> 00:38:31.639
for me to order. I usually don't order mains

00:38:31.639 --> 00:38:33.739
because to Steph's point, you either have to

00:38:33.739 --> 00:38:36.099
take it home with you, you graze on it, you eat

00:38:36.099 --> 00:38:38.599
too much of it. But also, please, I caution you,

00:38:38.619 --> 00:38:41.300
look at the calories and the fat and the like

00:38:41.300 --> 00:38:43.360
restaurant food is going to be five times what

00:38:43.360 --> 00:38:45.380
it is at home. So do not assume that this is

00:38:45.380 --> 00:38:48.420
the same as what you'd eat at home. Just be cautious

00:38:48.420 --> 00:38:50.960
of that. But eat out and have fun and look up

00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:52.840
restaurants ahead of time. I can't recommend

00:38:52.840 --> 00:38:55.300
sharing great restaurants enough. They're going

00:38:55.300 --> 00:38:58.940
to be your best bariatric friend. Look for bariatric

00:38:58.940 --> 00:39:01.320
hacks on the internet. I really want to try the

00:39:01.320 --> 00:39:03.579
Chick -fil -A kale salad and grilled nugget.

00:39:03.780 --> 00:39:07.579
Looks so good. Looks so good. That sounds delicious.

00:39:07.679 --> 00:39:10.280
But I think my only caution is social events

00:39:10.280 --> 00:39:11.579
are great and awesome and they're going to be

00:39:11.579 --> 00:39:13.860
a huge part of your life. So learn to embrace

00:39:13.860 --> 00:39:16.559
your new bariatric life and bring that with you

00:39:16.559 --> 00:39:19.230
to these parties. Eating out at restaurants,

00:39:19.469 --> 00:39:22.150
I know is a huge thing for our American friends.

00:39:22.210 --> 00:39:24.530
Eating out is a very big part of the culture

00:39:24.530 --> 00:39:27.409
there. If you find yourself eating out several

00:39:27.409 --> 00:39:31.590
times a week, I think you really need to rethink

00:39:31.590 --> 00:39:35.329
that. And we're not trying to shame anybody into

00:39:35.329 --> 00:39:38.530
not eating, but we're trying to be really very

00:39:38.530 --> 00:39:42.449
real here that this catches up with you. so much

00:39:42.449 --> 00:39:45.630
faster than you think. And you're not going to

00:39:45.630 --> 00:39:48.829
quit this later on in surgery. The whole purpose

00:39:48.829 --> 00:39:51.050
of the first year is to give up bad habits so

00:39:51.050 --> 00:39:53.909
that after a year of really abstaining from them,

00:39:53.949 --> 00:39:56.690
you hopefully don't want them back in your life.

00:39:56.889 --> 00:39:58.710
They're not habits anymore. No. But if you're

00:39:58.710 --> 00:40:02.309
two or three months into surgery and you're drinking

00:40:02.309 --> 00:40:04.130
full sugar and you're eating donuts and you're

00:40:04.130 --> 00:40:06.880
eating out two or three times a week. You won't

00:40:06.880 --> 00:40:09.519
give that up in two years because why would I

00:40:09.519 --> 00:40:12.239
have to? I've been doing it forever and I don't

00:40:12.239 --> 00:40:14.199
want to give it up. And when your metabolism

00:40:14.199 --> 00:40:17.039
slows down again and you find yourself not exercising

00:40:17.039 --> 00:40:19.500
as much as you did in your first year and the

00:40:19.500 --> 00:40:21.880
weight starting to creep up again a little, little

00:40:21.880 --> 00:40:24.239
by little by little, you're going to really regret

00:40:24.239 --> 00:40:27.980
how often you're eating out because the restaurant

00:40:27.980 --> 00:40:30.579
calories add up fast. And it's a hard, like very

00:40:30.579 --> 00:40:34.150
hard for me to quit delivery. the restaurants

00:40:34.150 --> 00:40:36.570
that I thought I wanted to eat at. It's not easy,

00:40:36.650 --> 00:40:39.889
but my friends are so incredible with letting

00:40:39.889 --> 00:40:42.369
me pick where we go and researching things ahead

00:40:42.369 --> 00:40:46.210
of time. And I've deleted the delivery apps off

00:40:46.210 --> 00:40:49.550
my phone because it's a really bad, nasty habit.

00:40:49.650 --> 00:40:51.389
And none of the food that I got delivered was

00:40:51.389 --> 00:40:53.409
ever going to be good for me. It's just not,

00:40:53.489 --> 00:40:56.230
sorry. It's just too easy to hit the button.

00:40:56.449 --> 00:40:59.110
No, it's just for you to hit the button. So just

00:40:59.110 --> 00:41:00.849
remember the habits you make at the beginning.

00:41:01.369 --> 00:41:04.530
are very important. They're very important. They're

00:41:04.530 --> 00:41:06.250
the foundation for later. And if you, like I

00:41:06.250 --> 00:41:08.130
said, if you already don't have that level of

00:41:08.130 --> 00:41:14.670
caution and concern and thoughtfulness now, it's

00:41:14.670 --> 00:41:16.449
going to be real messy later. It'll be hard for

00:41:16.449 --> 00:41:19.170
you later on because life catches up, things

00:41:19.170 --> 00:41:23.570
slow down, and now you're going to be battling

00:41:23.570 --> 00:41:28.659
old habits with creep. Yeah. Have fun. Have good

00:41:28.659 --> 00:41:32.079
social events. But Steph and I are going to we're

00:41:32.079 --> 00:41:33.599
going to challenge ourselves, let's say, for

00:41:33.599 --> 00:41:37.719
one thing to bring only one thing to everything

00:41:37.719 --> 00:41:41.380
we do in August. And it will be bariatric. So

00:41:41.380 --> 00:41:44.719
no more just cheese and meat. It will be something

00:41:44.719 --> 00:41:47.039
strategic. So I think for me, when I go home

00:41:47.039 --> 00:41:49.420
to my parents' house for the long weekend, I

00:41:49.420 --> 00:41:51.739
will make a dip. I will make a bariatric cheese,

00:41:51.739 --> 00:41:56.639
maybe cottage cheese queso. And yeah, we will

00:41:56.639 --> 00:41:59.480
have that maybe with the sourdough crackers and

00:41:59.480 --> 00:42:02.639
some carrots or something. That sounds lovely.

00:42:02.860 --> 00:42:05.219
But yeah, that's my challenge to everybody here

00:42:05.219 --> 00:42:08.280
too. Embrace your new lifestyle and bring it

00:42:08.280 --> 00:42:11.260
to parties because you're invited for you, not

00:42:11.260 --> 00:42:13.780
for what you're going to eat. And people want

00:42:13.780 --> 00:42:16.480
to, you don't think they do. They really want

00:42:16.480 --> 00:42:18.559
to be involved in this new life and they want

00:42:18.559 --> 00:42:20.599
to try your food and they want to be involved.

00:42:20.599 --> 00:42:23.860
So bring your authentic self to these social

00:42:23.860 --> 00:42:27.750
gatherings. Love it. I love it. All right, y

00:42:27.750 --> 00:42:30.050
'all. We'll see you in a week where we're going

00:42:30.050 --> 00:42:32.829
to be talking about something I've already forgotten

00:42:32.829 --> 00:42:36.530
about. Can't remember. What did we talk about?

00:42:36.690 --> 00:42:39.130
About hair. Hair. Oh, we might be talking about

00:42:39.130 --> 00:42:42.250
hair. Yep. In hair off my shirt. We might be

00:42:42.250 --> 00:42:43.969
talking about hair. There's well, there's a lot

00:42:43.969 --> 00:42:46.449
we're going to cover in the next 30 episodes.

00:42:46.610 --> 00:42:49.070
So we'll see you all next week. Like always stuff.

00:42:49.110 --> 00:42:51.130
Thank you for joining me and thank you all for

00:42:51.130 --> 00:42:53.289
listening. Bye guys. Bye.